The first day driving Jonquil to her classes was uncomfortable, to say the least. I can’t blame her for being uncomfortable, I am hiding my relationship with Ares from her. Her father thinks it’s best to wait until he hears from the elders before telling her. Her mother thinks this is all a part of the Goddess’ plan, and if we just let everything flow naturally it’ll all be fine. Sadly, for Luna, Alpha Ryan’s decision is the one we have to follow. So here I am, pretending everything is normal, but knowing she will one day be blindsided by the truth. 

Also, by Alpha’s command, Ares hasn’t seen her at all since the first day. He did not attend the school’s graduation ceremony, nor her graduation/birthday party. He has not gone running with the pack under the full moon. It is wearing on him and so it is wearing on me. Is it bothering her? I don’t know her well enough to say, but our wolves get pretty antsy being away from our mates for an extended time. Certainly, her wolf is the same. 

Day one, the ride was silent. Day two, I turned on the radio, she glanced at it and turned away. Day three, I turned the radio on again, and raised the volume. She gave both me and the radio a dirty irritated look. On day four I started to sing quietly along with the songs. She completely ignored me. Day five, the last day of the first week, and still nothing.  

I didn’t want to give up. She’s my mate’s mate; we will eventually have to get along, right? I don’t know anything about her beyond what I’ve observed. She carries herself like a future Alpha, and with her pack she is gracious and kind. I’ve seen her after training covered in dirt, sweat, and blood. Several marks on her in various stages of healing. Of course, with her strong bloodline she heals rapidly, but it is still over the course of a few hours. But what is she like aside from the Alpha persona? Can I reach her before the truth comes out? 

On Monday of the second week, I ran late picking her up from school. I made a quick apology, and then asked if she minded stopping for lunch. I took her to a small diner I had frequented over the spring semester. There are no wolves here, but the people are very warm and friendly. I encouraged Jonquil to order something to eat as well. 

“Anything you like, I’m buying!” I watched her over my menu. She flipped the pages back and forth trying to choose.  

“Everything sounds amazing,” she spoke softly, and glanced up at me.  

“Everything here is amazing!” I felt a little proud, introducing her to the quiet little place that had felt so welcoming to me.  

“Don’t listen to him," Noreen interrupted. She bopped my head with her order pad playfully, “the Brussels sprouts are questionable at best.” The older waitress grinned, her copper hair with chunky blonde highlights doing more to accentuate her age than to hide it.  

Jonquil looked up with a friendly smile and introduced herself. She was good at being nice but not really opening up. Anything she might have been thinking about the food, about the waitress, about me... it was all hidden. I am sure most humans, and even other wolves, wouldn't notice it. The carefully crafted public mask of an Alpha. How can I peel it back? I used to have my own. Ares and his family removed it for me. Can I do that for her? 

“Ok, so,” Noreen continued, “Matt’s getting the lamb burger and fries, what would you like, honey?” She looked at Jonquil with the same warmth she had with most people.  

Jonquil smiled, “I know I want fries, but I can’t decide if I want the California bacon as a burger, or as a grilled chicken. Do you have a preference?” 

Noreen grinned from ear to ear, “I prefer the chicken, today. Pepper is behind the grill and she’s the best at keeping it juicy.” 

“Perfect! Everything looked so good, it was hard to choose.” She handed back her menu with her gentle smile.  “You know Matt well enough to guess his lunch?” 

“Well, since the end of the spring semester he hasn’t been around as much, but he’s here most days he has classes. About time he finds himself a girl to bring along!” She poked my shoulder to emphasize ‘girl.’ Ares has come with me before, but we always kept our hands to ourselves in public. Humans can be just as opposed to same-sex relationships as wolves. 

I blushed and stammered, pulling away from Noreen, “It’s.... it’s nn-not that...” Noreen and Jonquil giggled at my awkwardness. Good for them, I thought.  

“Well, no worries, just means he’s a good guy, for sure.” Noreen winked strolled away to put in the order.  

“Ha!” Jonquil surprised me out of my blush, “now you can’t go off and bring your mate here, the waitress will think less of you.” 

I wrinkled my nose at her, “That’s future-me's problem, I am sure.” I took a sip of my ice water. “How are your classes?” 

“The classes are fine; I am still struggling to complete assignments on time. Moving on doesn’t seem to just fix chronic problems.” She sounded disappointed in herself. “It’s hard to get home and remember to do them when I also have physical training and pack stuff to do.” She sighed heavily. “I.. I don’t mean to complain...”  

“Nah, you’re good. Maybe when you have assignments we could just stop here before home? You could get some done each day before jumping right back into pack life.” This is precisely why I have the habit of visiting human establishments after classes. Home life for an heir is full of training, discipline, following your father and Beta around, etc. Very active.  

“Oh!” Jonquil’s eyes went wide, “oh, that seems perfect!” She started rifling through her bag, pulling out her laptop and wasting no time to connect to the Wi-Fi and get things started.  

I relaxed in my seat and watched covertly while texting Ares. 

♠ I have taught your mate the art of chilling at diners to do schoolwork. ♠ 

♦ Oh good. You’re getting along? ♦ 

♠ So far, she doesn’t seem to like my music selection, but lunch has been going well. ♠ 

♠ Except Noreen now thinks I have a girlfriend. ♠ 

Speaking of the older woman, she came with our plates, and I smiled as Jonquil looked up with big hungry eyes. “Oh my god, that looks so good!” She shifted her laptop to make room and I put down my phone. 

I picked up my burger for a bite when she asked, “Who you texting?” 

“Ares,” I replied quickly so I could get a bite of my burger. I’ve been craving it all day and I am not disappointed. 

She took a bite of her own, and made mumble words around it, I think something like “fuck, it’s good!” She grabbed her napkin and patted at her mouth, then held it there as she finished her bite. “Y’all don’t mindlink?!” 

We used to, I thought to myself. Everything about Ares is faster, bigger, stronger, and that includes mindlinking. The headaches that man gave me! I could feel Talon shifting uncomfortably just thinking about it. “Are you good at it?” I deflected her question. 

“No,” she looked down, a warm blush peeking through her makeup. “It’s just that Mom, Dad, Beta Lucas, everyone else seems to be in almost constant contact. So far, I can only feel nudges and some emotions.” 

I shrugged, “You’ll get better at it. And someday, you’ll know why I don’t mindlink him very often.” I picked through my fries, eating a few. 

“How... how is he? I haven’t seen him...” There was concern in her voice, but she was hesitant to ask. 

“He’s keeping himself busy. Training while you’re in class, and then teaching summer school courses in the afternoons.” She looked down and fiddled with her fries for a moment. “How are you with this separation?” 

She chewed on a fry thoughtfully. “I’m... ok. It’s a little hard because you carry his scent. I’ve been rude, I’m sorry.” 

“No no no, you’re ok. I honestly don’t want to be in between you two.” I sighed and momentarily plucked at my own fries. “I am sure with the modern laws and sensibilities regarding consent, this is happening in packs all over.” I hate pretending like that’s the only thing going on that is awkward.  

She nodded and hesitated before speaking. I wonder what she was thinking. I don’t think it was what she eventually did say, “Y’know, you’re probably right.” She dug right back into eating and her laptop. 

♦ It’s only fair. I have 2 mates. ♦ 

♠ At least, for her, I am not an old man. ♠ 

♦ At least, for the both of you, I am a patient man. ♦ 

♠ We need to tell her the truth. ♠ 

♦ I don’t like hiding it from her either. I don’t want to wait too long. ♦ 

♠ I think she’s going to figure it out and feel betrayed. ♠ 

♦ You’re probably right. ♦ 

♦ Matthew? ♦ 

♠ Yes, my love? ♠ 

♦ Is this hard on you? ♦ 

♠ Being secretive? Yes. ♠ 

♦ No. I mean, having a mate who is craving someone else? ♦ 

♠ Do you still crave me? ♠ 

♦ Oh, Goddess, yes. Didn’t I make that clear last night?! ♦ 

♠ Ares... I believe that hearts grow. My mother and father had 14 pups, and I never questioned their love for me. At least, not until they found us together that day. ♠ 

♠ What I am trying to say, I know you love me, and I know you can love her. I know your heart has room for us both. ♠ 

♦ Her dream is to fall in love. If that’s not with you... I hope I can be as open to it as you are. ♦ 

♠ Please don’t put that pressure on me. I told you, I never felt attracted to anyone before the mate bond. Not romantically, not sexually. ♠ 

♠ If she falls in love, I believe you will be able to accept it. And I hope she falls for someone who can love her. ♠ 

Token takes a moment to interrupt me and Ares, “I like her. I am ok if she loves you.” 

“Probably more than ok,” I shot back at him, heavy on the sarcasm. 

It felt like Token was staring at me now, daring me to say something more. It’s the same pressure I felt when I lied to my parents about not having a mate bond. I knew I couldn’t tell them about Ares, so they kept pushing young women at me. They paid some to attempt to seduce me. The humiliation was unbearable. 

“Hey!” Jonquil pulled me from my dark memories, a look of concern on her face. “You ok?” 

“Huh?!” I took a moment to collect myself, “Uh, yeh. Just remembering something. Going places down memory lane I probably shouldn’t.” 

She nodded. “Well schoolwork is done, and lunch is done. How about home? I can distract you by singing along this time?” 

I looked at my plate not realizing I had finished eating. Looking back up at her, “Yeh, let’s do that. Thanks.” 

For the record, Jonquil’s singing was atrocious, and I hope I never have to endure it again!