Mika sat up and looked at him. Gen averted his gaze. 

“Those shits hurt me. I wanted to destroy them all for what they did. My dad confronted the parents of the kid I confessed to, and Kana went completely apeshit. But still…I wanted friends. I wanted to be liked and accepted, just like everyone else. It just didn’t happen. I never had real friends, no one wanted to play games with me, watch TV, or do homework together. They just humored me because I was weird.”

Mika sat on his knees beside him, his hands on Gen’s leg, his mind spinning. 

“That day…with my pen…you saw me and didn’t judge or make fun of me. I was so nervous, I couldn’t even tell you my name! But by then, I was so practiced in disengagement that talking to anyone about anything, let alone giving my name, was a task. Kana has always been encouraging, telling me to at least try to say one thing to someone. Just one. And I did…to a cute boy I’d been crushing on for months.”

With that confession, he covered his face with his hands and groaned. Mika laughed and took Gen’s hands away from his face, moving to straddle his lap, placing Gen’s hands on his hips.

“You’ve liked me that long?” he asked, putting his hands on Gen’s chest.

“Mhm,” Gen’s ears reddened. “Since you walked into Redkin’s class that first day. It was cold and you were wearing a Fairy Tail hoodie. Your hair was a mess from the wind,” he chuckled. “I thought you were cute, from that moment on. You never noticed me, of course, and that was fine. I could live with admiring you from a distance. To see your smile and hear your laugh…and I could be fine with you never looking my way.”

He stroked the side of Mika’s hair, letting it slip through his fingers. “I can’t live with that now. I told you before, I need you to see me. To let me be a part of your life.”

Mika took Gen’s face in his hands and kissed him, tenderly. “I’m always going to see you, Gen. You can’t hide from me.” He smiled into his eyes. “And I’ll make other people see you, too.”

Gen cocked his pierced brow. “How?”

“Remember I said we were all going to the lake over Spring Break? I meant it, come with us.”

Gen’s face went blank. “No way.”

“Gen–”

“Mika, has nothing I said sunk in?”

“Everything you’ve told me has sunk in. Including the part where you said you don’t want to be invisible anymore. I’m not asking you to join a club or go to some huge event to meet new people. I’m asking you to hang out with me and three others. Is that really so frightening?”

“It was terrifying just to talk to you!” Gen looked away, his hands slipping down to Mika’s thighs. He was silent for several moments, trying to find a way to backtrack and take back what he said. But he had told the truth…he did want to be visible; he did want people to accept him, really accept him, not just pretend just to humor him. It had taken him so long to get over what those assholes had done back then, he never wanted to experience that pain again. So, he became who he was now…

And yet…here was one person who did accept him, who truly liked him and wanted to be around him. He was so determined to get him out of his cocoon and back into the real world, back around people. The entire prospect filled him with anxiety. But…I want to be with you…anywhere and everywhere, all the time…If attempting one conversation makes Mika happy, he would do it.

“Okay,” he said softly, sitting up and crossing his legs under Mika. He wrapped his arms around Mika’s waist, dropping his forehead to his boyfriend’s chest. “I’ll try. I can’t promise anything, though. If I shut down, don’t push it.” 

Mika’s arms went around Gen’s head and he smiled into the bigger man’s hair. “It’s a start,” he said. Without warning, a yawn erupted from his body, his body tightening in response.

Gen shifted again, trying to move Mika down a little in his lap. “Don’t do that,” he begged. He blushed furiously.

“What, yawn?” 

“No, the…other thing you did…”

“You mean…this?” He wiggled his hips forward just slightly, tightening his thighs.

Gen’s breath caught in his throat. “Yes,” he said, his voice ragged. “That. Please, don’t do that.”

Mika chuckled and lifted Gen’s face to his, kissing the tip of his nose. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to tease you.” He slid off Gen’s lap and lay down next to him as Gen pulled the blanket up over them both. Another yawn shook Mika’s body as he rested his head on Gen’s arm.

“Don’t think I won’t want to at some point down the road,” Gen said, wrapping himself around Mika’s small body. “It’s just way too soon, that’s all.”

“I understand, Gen, you don’t need to explain anything to me.” He cuddled in closer, his voice heavy with sleep. 

Gen began to gently play with Mika’s hair, watching as it slid in and out of his fingers. It was so long, he had to wonder at what point Mika had decided to let it grow. It was so soft in his hands, so smooth as it slipped through his fingers. He could feel how Mika’s body relaxed and his breathing slowed as the motion soothed him into a deep sleep. As he continued to play with his hair, Gen’s eyes drifted to Mika’s throat and to the ugly bruises that perverted his soft skin. His other hand reached out but stopped before he touched the marks. He wasn’t about to inadvertently cause Mika more pain with his actions. He’d done enough for one day.

He frowned as he let his arm fall around Mika’s side, his fingers resting at the small of his back. How are we going to hide this? What if his friends see? What will they say? Will they blame me?

He looked into the sleeping, innocent face of the young man in his arms. No..no they wouldn’t blame him. Something told him that his friends knew more than they let on. Yes, Mika laughed and smiled a lot when he was around them. But Gen had to wonder how much they knew of it was fake.

-*-