Aquila: So, we learned a lot of lessons.

Kasumi: I still can’t believe you talked me into doing this.

A: Look, at least we didn’t do any harm.  There’s so many overlapping and contradictory story events happening at once in Fate/Stay Night that walking into one version and inserting ourselves into the story as the school principal and vice principal didn’t impact anything any viewers saw.

K: It was a ridiculous idea.

A: It was worth trying.  I mean, having a battle royale between historical figures being controlled by high school students represents a serious crisis in education.  Somebody had to try something to bring it under control.

K: What a debacle.  At least we learned something.

A: Yes.  First lesson: no matter what Gilgamesh says, the school is owned by the Fuyuki City school board, and the cafeteria cutlery and kitchen utensils are not being rented from his vault.

K: I can’t believe how upset they got at us for that.

A: Seriously, you pay one invoice, and they yell at you on the phone for an hour.

K: At least that wasn’t as bad as the art room incident.

A: Yes.  Lesson two: Rider is permanently banned from the art room.  I don’t know what it was that set her off, but turning the teacher and a bunch of students into stone during Greek Mythology Day is not acceptable behaviour.  I don’t know what it is she has against this Perseus fellow, but it needs to stay out of the classroom!

K: What did you do with all of the statues, anyway?

A: I put them in the shed with the gym equipment.  It’s dark enough in there that nobody should be bothered by the horrified expressions on all of their faces – they just won’t see them.

K: Unless somebody turns the light on.

A: Oh, how often does somebody do that?

K: And they’re still going to make us pay for that front door.

A: Yes.  Third lesson: it doesn’t matter how heavy Illya’s school bag is or how slight her build may be, she may no longer bring Berserker to school with her.  He just can’t fit through the door!

K: That man seriously needs to learn how to duck under doorframes.

A: He doesn’t fit in the hall either.  And Archer just pisses me off.  He’s either a student at the school or a graduate of it, and he needs to make up his damned mind.

K: Yeah, his hanging around Rin and being snarky to everybody was making some of the other students nervous.  But, at least we caught on to Lancer before the javelin team entered a tournament.

A: Yes – fourth lesson: Lancer is barred from all sports clubs.  That spear of his that never misses is just cheating.

K: I just felt sorry for Saber, though.  She’s so sad all the time.

A: I told you, we needed to send her for counselling.  Her hanging around between classes moping around in the hallways was just bringing the entire atmosphere of the school down.

K: That may be, but we can’t force students to seek help.

A: Well, we have to do something!  I tried cheering her up by telling her about these stories I had read in this book on the Arthurian Legends, and she started crying.  Then I got to the story with Sir Lancelot, and she cried even more!  She needs help, for her own sake.

K: And then there’s Caster.

A: Yeah.  I don’t care if she’s dating a faculty member or not, field trips are for all students in the class.  It doesn’t matter how nice her underground city is, we are not accepting an invitation of “Send Shirou and Sakura and make sure they’re alone.”  I can’t believe she wouldn’t budge on that.

K: Well, it’s done now...except for paying for that front door.  And we did prevent any battles from taking place, which isn’t nothing.  So, let’s wrap up – who’s your candidate for best girl?

A: Best girls.  And it’s us.

K: Right...so, we liked Fate/Stay Night: Unlimited Blade Works, and running a school during a Holy Grail War is really hard.