"Henry Tailer is a sixteen-year-old boy from Ohio, in the United states of America. He is a fan of anime and Japanese culture, and after many years spent pirating anime to learn the language, he has finally gotten the occasion to travel to Japan and become a transfer student in the city of his dreams! Now, he is ready to live the life he always wished for, making new friends, new life experiences, and most importantly, getting himself a harem! What does this new chapter of his life have in store for him?"

Thus spoke Henry, standing in front of his new class for the self-introduction. His teacher, (whom, to Henry's disappointment, wasn't an inappropriately dressed twenty years old woman but a regular forty-something man) stood speechless next to him. 

"Your Japanese is really good..." The teacher desperately tried not to show the second-hand embarrassment coursing through his body.

Meanwhile, an ocean of whispers spread through the class.

"Is he talking about himself in the third person?"

"Did he seriously say harem?"

"Doesn't it sound like the blurb of a manga?"

"Gaijin sugoi."

To bring a stop to the chaos, and hopefully move on from what had just happened, the teacher pointed Henry to his seat.

"Why don't you sit down next to Riku? Luckily the spot was recently freed and— Henry where are you going?"

Henry wasn't paying attention to the teacher. He walked straight to a very specific spot of the classroom, one that he thought was supposed to be his, but was currently occupied.

"What are you doing here?!" He screamed at a face he recognized.

"H-hey Henry." Rohou tried to act casual, "What a coincidence, we're in the same class!"

"I'm not talking about that! Why are you sitting here?"

Henry pointed at the desk. Rohou sat next to the window, in the very last row. The bottom corner of the class.

"I was just assigned to this desk! I didn't choose it. It's a desk like any other..."

"False! That's the protagonist's seat! It's where the main character in manga always sits so that the author doesn't have to draw the other students behind him every time! It's special!"

"Hey!" Another voice that Henry could recognize surprised him from behind. "You're the guy from this morning! You really are weird!" The girl who had crashed into him not long before was sitting at the desk right next to Rohou.

"See what I mean!"

"Henry Tailer, please sit down!" The teacher's voice boomed. "I can understand being late, as this must all seem new to you, but I won't let you do as you please inside the class. All the desks are the same, and you will sit in the empty desk between Riku and Chiharu. Now please, we need to start the lesson."

"Y-yes. Sorry..."

Henry felt something that he couldn't recognize. He was confused and couldn't give it an explanation. Then, looking at the faces of the other students as he walked to his seat, it came to him. He had almost forgotten. For the first time in many years, Henry was feeling embarrassed about something he had done. It took him a while to metabolize such an uncommon feeling. After that, he spent the first half of the school day in silence, not wanting to further ruin his image. It was as soon as lunch break started that Riku, the tall boy sitting on his left, decided to speak to him.

"Don't be too upset about him. He can be harsh when he scolds you, but he is a reliable teacher." He said with a calm and soothing voice.

"I can see that... I hope he didn't already brand me as a troublemaker."

"It's fine." The boy got closer to Henry, as if to whisper a secret "Since it's illegal for teachers to touch the students, he can't do anything more than scold you. If you ignore him and keep being a nuisance, he won't know what to do."

"I really don't think you should say that!" Henry said in a worried tone, while at the same time trying to hide a chuckle. "Sorry, what was your name?"

"Riku Fukui. If you have trouble getting used to things, don't mind asking me."

Riku gave him a faint smile. His eyelids were slightly closer together than normal, slightly hiding his green eyes and giving him the look of someone who didn't care much yet was able to be reliable and kind. But there was a but. Henry couldn't deny that looking at Riku's face made him feel something not too distant from what that girl had made him feel in the morning. There was something oddly fascinating about his messy black hair and smooth skin, and Henry didn't know how to feel about it. So, he ignored it.

"I do have a question." Henry said after realizing he was staring, "How come our uniforms are so plain?"

"It's just the standard one. Why, how did you want them?"

"The uniform is the symbol of the school! I thought they'd be more colorful! Have more accessories! This is just black! How am I supposed to express my personality with a simple black uniform?"

"I think the school might allow small earrings and piercings."

"...I don't have pierced ears."

"I guess that's it then."

"And why is it that our uniform is one plain color, while the girls' uniform is a yellow blazer on a white shirt and a lilac skirt. And they have a damask pattern!"

"These kinds of stories usually have a predominantly straight male audience."

"I still think it's unfair..."

Riku shrugged. He had cheered Henry up when he spoke to him, but now things were starting to go back into the disappointment zone (now with added awkward silence!).

"Speaking of which." Riku started the conversation, "What's a harem?"

"Y-you don't know? Shouldn't everyone in Japan know?"

"Really? I've never heard that word before. I thought it was an American thing."

"I wish! Have you never played those games where you get to know all different kinds of girls that you’ll tame and use to fight monsters until they eventually fall in love with you and lay your eggs?”

"Can't say I have. But I do like to play sandbox games a lot. And you?" Riku had realized it was better to avoid the topic, "What is your favorite game?"

"Oh, I would love to tell you, but the Japanese copyright laws forbid me from mentioning an artist's work without first obtaining their consent."

"Right. Anyway, want to eat lunch together?"

"Sure!"

Henry pulled out a bag of nachos and an energy drink.

"What's that?" Riku asked with worry in his voice.

"American food!" Henry exclaimed, pointing at the Mexican chips. 

"I think having a normal lunch would be better for your health."

"... Is this not a normal lunch??"

Riku's expression did not change, but his eyes emanated disappointment.

"I'll give you some of mine."

Riku produced a neatly packed bento out of his bag. The insides contained all the food needed for a growing boy. Three small balls of rice wrapped in algae, also known as onigiri or jelly-filled doughnuts, occupied half of the lunch box, together with two small slices of spinach omelet. The other half was divided in two sections, the top one with sliced tomatoes and a salad, the bottom one with small wieners cut to look like derpy octopises. Henry could swear he saw sparkles come out of the box as Riku opened it.

"Riku, do you have a maid by any chance?"

"I don't have maids; they just dress like that."

"Wait what"

"Here, you can have two of my onigiri."

"But— Oh, thanks."

Riku almost forcefully gave him the rice balls. Henry bit one in half and let its filling spread through his tongue. He was halfway through a loud "oishi" when he felt something poke him in the back. He turned around to find a girl, the one sitting on his right, signing at him to get closer. Her jacket was unbuttoned at the top, without emphasizing any part of her body, and she tied her especially long hair in a pair of twin tails.

"Excuse me Riku but matters of the uttermost importance urge me to turn the other way." Henry told his classmate, before turning to the girl without even waiting for an answer. "It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I am Sir Henry Tailer. I would be delighted to learn the mademoiselle's name." he said while putting on a posh British accent, even though he was still speaking Japanese, don't ask how.

"…I'm Chiharu Bishin." The girl leaned over to whisper, "I don't know if you've noticed already, but you should be careful around Riku. There are some weird rumors about him."

"Are you serious? But he looks so incredibly chill! To the point that, if this wasn't a story that tried to maintain a more family friendly rating, I'd think he was high!"

"Think what you will, but what people say about him is serious. You can't know since you're new, but there was a boy who sat at this desk before you. He was a bit gloomy, but Riku started to get close to him and the two became friends. Then, one rainy night, the two of them organized a camp trip to a nearby forest. Riku came back without a scratch, but no one heard from the other boy ever again. And the weirdest thing is, when people went to look for him... There was no forest!"

Henry jumped as the recording of a thunder played from a cell phone hidden behind Chiharu’s back.

"W-what? You can't be serious!" Henry rapidly turned to the person in question. "Riku, is that true?"

"Shugi Jun'nou is no more." He calmly answered, confirming that all that whispering was utterly useless.

Henry slowly turned back to the girl.

"S-See! It's unfounded rumors..."

"Don't reject the truth! Horror stories aside, can't you see all the students who want to speak to you?" Her eyes pointed at the small crowd surrounding them. 

"There are still people curious to speak to the foreign student, despite your introduction, but they're too afraid to get close to Riku to speak to you." 

It was true that a couple of boys and girls had started to gather around them since the beginning of the lunch break. This girl was the only one brave enough to approach him. And when this thought passed through the rotten cave that was Henry's brain, a switch was flipped inside of him.

"Oh, I see how it is." He smugged. "This is your way of showing your interest for me."

"Uh!?"

"Don't worry, I would never play the part of the dense protagonist. The doors of the harem are wide open for you!"

"Were you dropped on your head as a child?" A harsh yet probable statement.

"Your insults mean nothing, I immediately understood by looking at the reddish color of your hair what kind of character you were." 

If Henry had a sense of shame, or self-awareness, or was physically able to read the room, or had any sense of self-preservation, he would have noticed the class going silent, the air becoming heavier, the gaze of the girl in front of him turning more and more serious, and a small red glint coming from her pupils. Although, looking at his character, he still wouldn't have stopped himself from saying the following words.

"A tsundere!"

The group of students that had gathered around him rapidly dispersed. Chiharu stood still for a second. Then, she calmly grabbed her things, put them in her bag, and left. But she didn't leave the room. After a couple of steps she stopped, grabbed the backpack from the straps, spun around on the spot a few times, and flung it right at Henry's face with the kind of force and precision that would make a hammer thrower at the Olympics jealous. Henry was catapulted out of his chair and tumbled uncontrollably on the floor until he crashed on the wall beneath the class windows, sending all desks and chairs in his way flying. It is important to note that despite the little to no time he had to react, he still managed to end this sequence with both his hands curled into the sign of the horns, with his thumb, index, and pinky finger raised at the sky.

Riku got close to him, slowly, with no haste, and squatted down. He moved the heavy bag from Henry's face, who, despite being slightly mangled, managed to let out a few words.

"Classic tsundere."

"Do you need to go to the nurse?" Riku helped him up.

"No... I'm starting to think the students were scared of her, not you. Is this normal?"

"I'm not that good with the concept of normal, but in any case, I'd try not to make her angry."

"Try not to? The opposite! A flustered girl hitting you because she can't properly handle her feelings is the dream of any otaku!" Thanks to the poor way he was raised as a child, Henry was happy about the situation. "A tsundere is the perfect way to start my harem! Speaking of which, there were people who wanted to speak to me! That's a first! Do you mind if I go over to them?"

"Oh, don't worry about me. I exhausted all my conversation topics anyway."

Henry looked around himself, analyzing every student in his class and categorizing them based on anime stereotypes. How many other kinds of dere would he find? It was time for him to build the foundation for the illegally planned house of modern horrors that was his harem!

 POSTFACE

- A LAZY EXCUSE OF A GLOSSARY

The sign of the horns: Google "rumic sign".
  ...What? Did you not read the title of this section?

Gaijin sugoi: A Japanese way to greet foreigners. It’s true, I heard it all the time when I went to Japan. (Editor’s Note: This is false.) (Writer's Note: I don't have an editor)

Tsundere: A character, usually female, with daddy issues.

Otaku: A nerd. (Disclaimer: Henry's situation goes much, much further beyond being a simple otaku or nerd. Please do not relate. Please.)