I could barely process what had happened. I knew things hadn’t happened in the best way. But I had no idea how bad things were until dinner when the princess didn’t show up to supper. 

Perhaps she was only embarrassed. Perhaps she was scared to show her true feelings. I could only hope that was the case. Better to find out sooner than later. 

Without touching a bite of food, I left for her room. After a few knocks, there was still no answer. 

I turned to a guard. “Is the princess in her room?”

“Yes, I believe so. She came in a while back, clothes all soaked.”

Well, that left me no choice. For safety reasons, she couldn’t lock the door from the inside, so I entered. Slowly. 

There she was. 

Sitting on her bed. 

Still in her old clothes. 

Not looking up even an inch when I entered. 

What was I even to say? Was she really that upset? 

“Ellia…I’m sorry. That’s not how I intended things to go.”

She still refused to look at me. “Why did you have to do that? Everything is ruined now.”

Ruined?! What was she talking about? Were my feelings for her only some horrible monster she dearly hated? 

First, I felt fear and loss. And then next, rage. A rage which couldn’t help but ignite into fiery words. 

“Of course you wouldn’t accept my feelings when you are only a child. I shouldn’t have been so foolish. But whether you like it or not, we will wed. It's our duty we must do. But it will be as you like. A marriage with no love. So I hope you’re happy, Princess.”

I stomped out. 

Slammed the door. 

Kept going. 

Until I couldn’t any longer. 

~*~

Tears of hurt. 

Tears of anger. 

Then tears of regret. 

If things weren’t already ruined, they were surely ruined now. 

My heart was ruined. 

My hope was ruined. 

And anything good that Ellia might have thought of me was ruined. 

Why…

Why had I thought she somehow felt as I did? Why had I kissed her? Why had I yelled at her as I did? 

And why did I have to love her as much as this? This was going to hurt more than any battle wound. But at some point, I would still have to face her. We would still be wed. And she would probably hate me all the more for it. 

Today was the day I was supposed to be surprising her with a picnic. She would have been in my arms as we rode that black horse she loved. And when I came time to talk to her, would things have gone any better? 

Every time a servant or guard knocked on my door, I sent them away. I didn’t eat. I couldn’t. The sick emptiness in my gut was more consuming. 

What was she doing? Had she stayed in her room this whole time as I had? Had she not eaten as I hadn’t? 

Somehow, I had to fix this. I knew it couldn’t be completely, but something had to happen before the Relkom Elders came. The last thing we needed was for her to speak of my unruliness and then for another husband to be chosen for her. I knew a few dukes that would jump at that opportunity. 

As much as I wanted to hide away from all of life, my kingly duties had to come first. Weakly, I stood and summoned servants to help me change and freshen my appearance. Next came something much harder. 

I stood once again at her door. Once again preparing to apologize. But unlike the past, my emotions couldn’t lose control again. 

After knocking, a guard informed me she wasn’t there. Where would she have gone? What if she tried to escape? 

First, I searched the dining room then the gardens. But she was nowhere. I asked every worker until one said they thought she was in the library. 

Rushing there, my heart partly relaxed to have found her and then turned to dread, knowing what came next. 

She looked up only a moment to see it was me then went back to whatever book she had been reading. Was she really still preparing after all that had happened yesterday? She still never ceased to surprise me. 

This next moment had to be just right. The kingdoms depended on it. My own heart depended on it. 

Kneeling down in front of her, I gently pulled aside the book from her hands. “Ellia…I know I don’t deserve to even speak to you. But I must apologize once again. So I beg your forgiveness. For everything.”

I’m sure my voice was trembling. Everything inside of me surely was. But as her eyes still avoided mine, I felt my attempts were not even a fraction closer to making things better. But still I waited, on my knee, only hoping she wouldn’t hate me forever. 

“You have to say, I, the king of the goons, beg Queen Ellia for forgiveness.” Her voice was slow and soft and somehow calm. 

Was it really that simple? 

“Alright. I, king of the—”

She shoved her hand over my mouth, cutting off my words. “Not like that.” Next, she brought both of her hands to my cheeks and squished them forward, scrunching my lips up. Her soft eyes finally looked into mine. “Now say it.”

Now I was wondering if she actually was giving me a chance at forgiveness or more like an attack of revenge. Either way, I had to throw aside any ounce of pride. 

Taking a painful swallow, I repeated the words back to her, though they sounded muffled and silly which was obviously her goal of making me sound ridiculous. 

When she giggled, I realized it was all worth it. The amusement glowing in her eyes instantly washed away my past worries. As her hands slowly loosened their grip, I noticed how warm they were on my face. My gaze of wonder must have turned her back to reality, for her smile faded to solemness. 

Her hands suddenly sprung away as did her eyes. “I…uh…suppose you can be forgiven. Maybe…”   

Getting off the ground, I sat in the chair next to her. “Thank you,” I spoke softly. 

I then noticed the book she had been reading. Something to do with proper marriages among royals. Had she been seeing if what I said about us was true? Should I bring it back up again? Somehow it didn’t feel right. 

“Perhaps we should get something to eat. Have you had anything yet?”

She shook her head. “I guess we could.”