I never felt sicker in my life. Standing up front for the ceremony felt like a cage. I wanted to leave and talk to Ellia before all this, but that wasn’t possible. And now I was left with only regret.
The chatter of hundreds of people in the room rumbled alongside an organ playing. Behind me, the priest quieted the people. I knew what part came next, and that made me sicker all the more.
The music changed, and I held my breath, hoping I wouldn’t collapse at the sight of Ellia entering the room. I felt I almost did.
She was absolutely stunning. Her hair, pulled up in the traditional wedding style, matched the pure elegance of her white wedding dress. She looked like a true bride. A beautiful bride. And that only made the tightness in my chest worse.
Her timid steps finally led her to my side, although her eyes never met mine. The music stopped and the priest recited the ceremony speech. I wanted nothing more than to comfort her as I sensed every bit of her discomfort and fears. If only she could look at me. But she never did.
At the final part, as requested for the ceremony, I took both her hands in mine. For a split second, she finally did look at me but not long enough for me to convey my concern. I was almost certain I could feel the slight tremble in her hands. Mine held hers strong and sturdy, in hopes it offered any form of comfort at all.
I hadn’t even realized the priest had finished until the crowd started shouting, “Long live the King and Queen!”
So it was done.
Ellia was my wife.
No. Vallenor was my wife. Ellia was a stone statue far from me.
I held her hands longer than needed, hoping she would look at me one more time. But she still didn’t, and let go first. She did, however, loop her arm around mine as she was supposed to when we walked down the aisle. We continued down the long row of guards till outside where an open top carriage was waiting.
Next, we would ride around town, allowing the villagers to see the face of their new Queen. This would be the third time for me. First when I was born, and last when I became King.
Two carriages full of guards rode in front and behind us. An extra security that probably wasn’t necessary, but still made me feel better. I couldn’t let anything happen to the princess…or queen that is. She was all I had left.
After having been alone for so long, I hadn’t realized how lonely I had been. Ellia had brought life back to me. She brought air when I hadn’t even realized I was suffocating.
Chemy was right. I needed to make things right. Especially if what he said was true, and there was any part in her that felt even a little bit as I did. Romantic or not. I would take anything as long as I had something I could give. If that’s what she wanted.
But now also wasn’t a time I could speak to her with the rows of many people on the road staring us down as we passed. Ellia held her head high as if faking confidence. She would smile and wave back at the children who seemed eager for their glimpses of her.
Even after all I knew she felt inside, and still she acted like a true queen. No, Ellia was far from being a child. Perhaps she was even more mature than I was.
I knew her mother would have been proud of her. And mine as well. If only they had been alive to have witnessed our wedding. Under happier circumstances, of course, in the case of Ellia actually wanting to marry me.
The thought slashed into my gut again. But I tried not to think about it. I would try to think about Ellia and how to make her feel better, which I still wasn’t sure what that was yet. Chemy wasn’t exactly clear on that either.
Our ride concluded and once again we followed the guards till we were brought back to our room. This was the moment I had been waiting for when we could finally talk but…could I find the right words?
When I closed the door and turned to see a frozen Ellia, I was unsure of everything all over again. Her eyes seemed fixed on the large bed as if it was a monster. I finally realized what her fears might be.
Quickly, I opened the door to the joint room. “You will sleep in the Queen’s Room, of course.”
Still unsure of herself, she slowly walked past me into the next room. “And tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow?” I questioned.
“Are we to leave?”
“You mean for the week of the new weds?”
She nodded but still kept her gaze averted.
I couldn’t forget she had been reading a lot and knew what was expected. But I needed to reassure her that I had no expectations of her.
“We will go to Oceanside Castle. But…I thought Chemy could go along, if you like.”
Her eyes targeted mine in confusion. Well, at least I got her to look at me.
“Really?”
I smiled in assurance. “Of course. If that is what you want.”
Though she seemed gladdened, some other negative emotions seemed to war over her face. Wishing I knew what she was thinking, I still enjoyed simply letting our eyes linger into each other.
Her voice came out almost as a whisper. “Thank you, Kalin.”
Why did she still look so sad? It took everything in me to not hold her just then. But somehow I found the strength to speak words that opposed what was in my heart.
“Nothing changes with us, Ellia. You may be queen now, but as far as the marriage, just think of it like the ball. It’s all pretend.” As hard as it was, I tried to smile.
I’m pretty sure I saw a million tons of weight lift off her shoulders, but her look suddenly turned confused.
“But…what about… I mean… How is someone supposed to have…pretend children?”
“Children?” My voice dumbly shook out, taken off guard. Her head was clearly thinking much farther than mine had ever gone. Trying to shake off the shock, I attempted to think of a good reply quickly. “You must be talking about a queen's duty to have an heir to the throne. That’s actually…not a problem. So don’t worry about that.”
Her blank stare didn’t look so convinced, and I knew I had to come up with something better to say.
“If a queen can’t have children, then an adoption can be done. So yes, I guess it is like having pretend children. But that’s nothing we have to worry about for a long time.”
Slowly, she nodded, seeming satisfied with that answer.
Well, if I had accomplished at least putting her mind to ease, that was one goal accomplished. I still wasn’t sure about the rest.
But as I kept staring at her, and her not seeming opposed, something else accidently slipped out my mouth. “You’re really beautiful.”
Suddenly, her face grew red, as she slammed the door between us shut.
Had I just ruined any progress I had made?
Comments (0)
See all