I wasn’t there to see it, but I could imagine. Every now and then, I could even hear the happy yells of the gnomes who were outside playing in the ocean. And here I was sitting inside this stuffy room at a desk piled with papers. A part of me wanted to be there to see the pure glee I knew would be on Ellia’s face. To watch them splash in the water and dig in the sand. 

But knowing I couldn’t be the one to share those moments with her also pained me. Also, I was determined to keep my promise to Ellia. 

Without a single knock, my door was opened. 

Chemy walked in with a disapproving look. “What are you doing in here! When you should be out there!”

“This work needs to be done. Ellia told me her concern for Relkom, and she’s right. We can’t sit around while they suffer.”

“True true, and all well and fine, but you also can’t hide from your problems. This is the week of the new weds! You two are supposed to spend it alone!”

“You seem to know a lot about humans for a gnome.”

“I know enough.”

My attention went back to my papers. “You should also know Ellia hasn’t seen her family in a long time, and that’s what she needs right now.”

“Yes, she needs to see them, and I’m grateful you let her. But that’s not all she needs.”

“And what is that exactly? Someone who is a friend, someone who is a lover? You weren’t very clear on that last time.”

“She needs a Kalin.”

My eyes sprung back up to him at those words, though I wasn’t entirely sure what he meant. 

“Well, right now that means a Kalin that’s a strong and wise king that can help her kingdom. And that’s what I’m doing.”

“But it also means more.”

I surely wanted it to mean more, but was that really what she wanted? 

“You said she felt guilty. I don’t want her to feel that way.”

“I also told you to fix that!”

“But in trying to fix it, I risk making it worse!”

Though it was hard to take seriously, his face grew more intense. “Then you will have to figure it out!” 

“You tell me to do all this stuff, but what advice do you give her?”

“Nothing! This isn’t her problem to fix. You have to deal with it!” He started to leave but turned in the doorway. “The truth is, she does love you. Just in her own way.”

Before I had time to ask what he meant, he was gone. Maybe it was true to a degree. But in what way? Or was Chemy only full of wishful thinking? I wasn’t even sure why he was so adamant on getting us together. Did he think it was the only way she could be happy? 

He had used the word “need”. It seemed a bit strong. There was no way she actually needed me. But wanted? I would like to think so. More than anyone else, I truly did want her happy. And because of that, I also feared being closer to her would be the thing to tear that away. There was also still fear for myself. Once again, I reminded myself that I had to set aside my own feelings. 

~*~

“Did you have fun?” I managed to ask Ellia as they had come inside from the beach. Her dress was still soaked. 

“We had never been to the ocean. The gnomes loved it. Though the water is so different. They discovered it tastes very bad and not to drink it.”

“That’s because of the salt.”

“Salt in water? That makes no sense!” 

I breathed out a chuckle. “No, I suppose not.”

“So, um…” She finally looked directly at me with timid eyes. “Chemy said you were working hard this morning. So thank you for trying to help Relkom. And thank you for bringing the gnomes here.”

Ellia being so thankful once again. It always warmed my heart. A deep smile couldn’t help but cross my lips. 

“Anything for you,” I spoke in almost a whisper. 

Had it come across too uncouthing? For her eyes suddenly fled away. 

“I uh…should get changed out of this dress.”

Letting her leave, I checked with the servants and cooks about the supper preparations. It wasn’t long after until Chemy found me. 

“Ellia needs your help!” His voice seemed urgent but his eyes seemed calm. 

“With what?” I questioned. 

“Quick, she’s in her room!” He scurried away after without further explanation. 

I couldn’t help but feel this was another one of his schemes. 

Once to her room, I stood in the open doorway to see she was kneeling down with her face low to the ground, trying to look under the vanity. Well, she didn’t seem in any danger to me. 

“Is something the matter?” I asked. 

Startled, she sat up. “Oh um…it’s nothing.”

“Did you lose something?”

“It’s just…a necklace.”

A necklace? Did she have more than the one I had given her? It was possible there were some left in the castle that she had used. Of course she was free to do so and didn’t need to fear to take anything in the castle as hers. 

“I will help you search for it.” I offered, thinking that’s what Chemy's goal had been. What does it look like?”

She quickly stood to her feet. “No, it’s fine. I’m sure I will find it soon.” 

Not wanting to further press, as she already seemed uncomfortable, I offered her luck and left. To no surprise, Chemy soon came my way. 

“Did you take her necklace?” I asked, though felt I already knew the answer. 

“Actually, I found it!” He beamed, looking proud. “Here, give it back to her.”

His stubby fingers dangled the familiar necklace in front of me. It was hers. The one I had given to her. Why hadn’t she simply told me? 

I thought back to when she had been wearing it but hid it under her clothes. Why did she feel the need to hide it? Necklaces were for wearing after all. 

“She was really worried she had lost it forever. It must be really important to her. So bring it back to her.”

I shook my head at the gnome’s schemes. “You shouldn’t scare her like that.”

“No, you shouldn’t scare her like that!” Was his huffed retort. 

“And what’s that supposed to mean?”

But my question did no good as he waddled off again. Well, since I had her necklace, I might as well return it to her. 

For some reason, I felt even more nervous this time than when I first had given it to her. I dearly wanted to believe it did mean a lot to her. And clearly she must have felt it was important. But why? Because she liked the design, or because it was from me? Surely not that latter. 

“Here it is,” I stated, standing in her doorway once again. 

It seems I had caught her in yet another strange position while looking on the floor. 

“Oh, I um…thanks.” She sprung up, reaching out to take it from me. 

Maybe it was the lack of food or maybe from all of Chemy’s words, but my usual careful self diminished, as I dared to be more forceful. 

“No, I’ll put it back on for you.” 

Though her wordless response could have meant her discomfort, I continued to move behind her and moved her hair aside. Clasping the necklace on, I let my fingers rest against the back of her neck, taking my time. I sensed her stiffness. Just like when we had danced. And when I got too close while on horse rides. 

It made sense now. She wasn’t used to touch. At least not from a human man. It didn’t necessarily mean she disliked me. Then again, maybe it did. 

But then there were also the times when we were close and she seemed at ease. After enough time. It reminded me of Chemy’s words. Give her more time. 

Time. Was it really that simple? 

Chemy said she loved me in her own way. But did she think that? Or was that just how Chemy thought? 

My attention suddenly turned to a stuffed animal on the bed that looked all too familiar. Returning her hair behind her back, I stepped closer to the bed. Could it really be? Surely not. There was no way.

“What is this?” I pointed to the stuffed wolf which appeared to have received both much abuse and love. 

“That’s Woofy. The gnomes brought him back to me.”

“Did they give it to you?”

Slowly, she dared to stand beside me and picked up its worn, floppy body. “No. I don’t know where it came from. The fairies I guess. I’ve had it as long as I can remember. He’s always been there to comfort me.”

The fire that had been born inside of me had only grown higher. Now the flames, bigger than I had intended to let build, felt unquenchable. 

Turning, I faced her till her full attention fell on me. I hardly knew what I was saying as the words simply spilled out. “I gave that wolf to you. Back before you were taken away. And I was the one who spoke to you the words of that silly poem. Even after you were sent to the fairies, you see…I was the one still comforting you even before the gnomes. And I hope I can be your comfort once again.” 

Her wide eyes told me she didn’t know how to respond to my affection filled words. Once the pounding of my heart slowed, I realized I regretted acting in haste. Somehow my emotions kept leading my actions to where I didn’t want to go. At least not yet. I had once planned to slowly ease back into friendship. 

Fool. I had shown my passion too strongly once again. But this time, there was no door for her to hide behind, leaving her looking trapped. 

So much for comfort. That’s what I had told her I wanted to give her. Yet I was doing everything but that. I was right after all. I was only going to make things worse. Was this too late to fix?

My eyes averted as I took a step away. “I’m sorry. That’s silly. I know the gnomes love you and will always be there for you. I’m sure you don’t need more than that.”

With a quick bow, I rushed out. I thought I heard her call my name behind me, but didn’t want to look the fool if I was mistaken so kept walking.