The sun struggled to break through the clouded sky and fog. Thus, why today I probably could hear many gnomes running around inside the castle even from inside the study room. They had once been very disappointed that the weather wasn’t suited for outside, but it seemed they soon found other ways to entertain themselves. Which seemed a trait all gnomes had. 

With the same adventurous spirit that Ellia had, they had been thoroughly exploring the castle all morning. I knew because this was the fifth time a gnome had opened the door and peeked inside to see me at my desk. Some would ask me what I was doing while others shyly left quickly like one of them had just done. 

I had thought about locking the door, but soon realized it became entertaining to see who would show up next. Not that I knew any of them by name except Chemy. Thankfully, he looked different enough from the rest who mostly looked very similar to each other. Though if I thought about it, perhaps it was more his way of speaking and mannerisms that made him distinct. 

Speaking of Chemy, he was the next gnome to enter the room. I knew he would eventually since I hadn’t shown up to eat breakfast with everyone else. But his lectures were just something I was getting used to.

“Go ahead and give me the talk,” I said first with an acquiescing smile. 

He eyed me skeptically. “If you already know your wrongs, then why did you do it!”  

I set a letter down, giving him my full attention. “As you know, I’m rather busy in here.”

“Now you have to make up for not eating with us. So come on. It’s seek and hide time.”

“Don’t you mean hide and seek?”

He shook his head furiously. “No, no. That’s a different game entirely.”

I hadn’t seen Ellia since the incident last night, and I still didn’t feel ready. Mostly because I feared she would feel uncomfortable around me. And I had yet to find a good balance of how to act around her. 

Strange… Chemy hadn’t mentioned any of that. Perhaps Ellia hadn’t spoken to him of it. 

“Is it that important?” I questioned. 

“Dearly so! If the gnomes think you don’t know how to have fun, they will deem you as a bad husband for Ellia! And you don’t want their wrath! Now come, come!”

I knew Chemy wouldn’t let this go, so stood to my feet. Maybe getting lost in the sea of gnomes would limit any interaction with Ellia, making it relatively safe. 

He led me to the dining room where all the other gnomes had gathered together. Ellia stood in the midst, looking surprised the moment she saw me. I quickly looked away. 

“Now!” Chemy clapped his hands together to gain everyone’s attention. “Kalin, you will be the hider. So go find a good spot and make sure there is a lot of room. We will need it.”

“For what?” I asked, a bit confused. 

“Once someone finds you, they will hide along with you until the last gnome.”

“I see,” I stated, though it seemed any spot would fill up quickly with this many gnomes. “So, anywhere in the castle then?”

“Yes, yes. Now go! You have a minute.”

A minute seemed hardly suitable. Even though this castle wasn’t nearly as large as back home, it certainly wasn’t small. With very little creativity, I simply made my way to the library and stood behind a shelf. It wouldn’t take long to be found, but with this many gnomes, that was probably a good thing.  

I felt a bit silly standing alone, but it didn’t take long for someone to walk in. What I didn’t expect was for the gnome to promptly leave after a quick scan. Surely he had seen me. 

After a bit more of waiting, someone else entered. The person who I hoped it wouldn’t be. 

When Ellia’s eyes met mine, part of me wished I had hid better. But why did I feel the need to keep avoiding her? I couldn’t forever. 

Her apprehensive steps slowly brought her next to me. Eyes averted, she stood quietly a few feet away. The look on her face was completely unreadable. Part of me wanted to say something in hopes of easing the situation, but we were supposed to be hiding and not making noise.

My internal conflict eased when another gnome entered. Was it the same one as before? I couldn’t tell. He joined us with a jolly smile. Shortly after, a few more gnomes showed up. Soon, they were pushing Ellia closer to me as space grew sparse. 

By the time half of the gnomes crowded in around us, I ran out of space in the corner to give Ellia more room away from me. Another gnome would show up, and she was pushed even closer until our arms were touching. 

I had been still and quiet before but even more so now. Deathly so. The pieces started to put together in my head as I started to conclude that this had been a set up planned by the gnomes. It was all too convenient. 

Before I had time to process fully what was already happening, a few more gnomes arrived, taking away the last of the space. Ellia was fully pushed up against me with her back to my chest. It reminded me of the days we rode horseback.  

This should have felt familiar, and in a way it did. But somehow…it was like…I felt guilty for enjoying it, knowing that she was probably at unease. Surely she did not want to be this close to me. The best I could hope for was her to be focused on the game and not our closeness. Yet, that was something I couldn’t do. Her arm was extremely warm against mine. 

I knew the gnomes were only trying to help, but it only made me want to wrap my arms around her. To hold her close… To freely show her my love. And that’s not what she needed right now. Or possibly never. Which was probably the case, though I didn’t like to think that. But what did she supposedly “need” as Chemy had said. 

The mix of delight and torture ended, though after much longer than it should have, when Chemy was finally the last gnome to “find us”. Although I was pretty sure Chemy knew long ago where we all were and just had taken his time. 

The rest of the gnomes cheered and dispersed, giving Ellia the space to finally step away from me. 

When she didn’t leave the room right away, I took the opportunity to say something in an attempt to feel out her thoughts. “Chemy had said it was hard for gnomes to stay in one space. Yet they all stood perfectly still for quite some time.” 

She gave a fond smile. “For anything else, yes, gnomes can’t hold still. But when it comes to games, their determination can’t be beat. One time, one of the gnomes hid so well it took a full day till someone found him.”

I smiled back though she wasn’t looking at me to see. At least she sounded at ease when talking to me. 

“I’m glad I got to meet all of them,” I admitted. 

Her smile seemed to deepen. “They seem to like you.”

Did she really think that? I hadn’t done much. 

“To be honest, I can’t really tell them apart, aside from Chemy. I don’t know how you do it. They look all the same.”

Her eyes finally found mine, looking truly surprised. “What?! But they look completely different!”

I chuckled. “I’m sure they do to you since you have seen them your whole life.”

She looked away again. “It wasn’t actually my whole life though.” 

I had no idea what she meant by that but didn’t dare ask. It was only us left in the room now. Staying felt odd, but suddenly leaving didn’t feel right either. She herself had chosen to stay, so she must have not felt completely uncomfortable. Though I soon re-evaluated her reasoning, when she started to scan the book shelves. 

“Looking for something?” I asked. 

She nodded, keeping her focus fixed on the rows of books. “I wondered if there was a book here written in gnomic.”

“I’ll help you look,” I offered, feeling it would give me a safe reason to stay. There was silence for a while till I thought of something to say. “Do you not like the other books?” 

“I like them too. But there is something different about gnomic ways. It’s special.”

“Now that I’ve met them all, I understand more. And I’ve seen it in you too as well.” I paused before my next words, a bit unsure. “So Ellia…don’t ever change.”

Her face was unreadable, but her hand froze midway while placing a book back on the shelf. It stayed there a moment till finally putting it fully back. Was that a good sign or bad?

Brushing off the uncertainty, I kept searching the shelf. 

“Kalin,” her gentle voice nearly startled me. Now it was her turn to pause. “I’m sorry I forgot.”

“Forgot what?” I tried to sound calm through my thudding heart from the sound of her speaking my name. 

“All that you did for me before. You saved me from the dragon. You were there for me when my parents died. You wrote me letters. Gave me Woofy. And yet, I can’t remember any of it.”

The sincerity of her voice nearly melted my heart to the point of almost not thinking straight. “There is no need to apologize. You were so young. I can hardly remember my own childhood.”

Her eyes focused down in contemplation. “But there was one thing I did remember. But I didn’t know it then. I would have dreams I was with a boy. We would play games together and go on adventures. I’ve had those dreams most of my life with that same boy in them. His name…was Kalin. When I called you that for the first time, it had been an accident. I hadn’t known that was your name. So…” She took a long breath while tracing a finger along the back of a book cover. “In a way…I guess something inside of me did remember you. I just didn’t know it.”

I had thought my mind and emotions had been seized and nearly rendered useless before, but now even more so. What was I to say to that? To find out that all this time I had been somehow ingrained into the deeper parts of her. And had been cherished by her. 

But somehow I had to bring myself back down to earth. 

A boy. A boy that played with her. That’s what she saw me as. Not a husband and nothing more. But could I any longer deny that I was special to her at least in some way? Just like each of the gnomes. 

Yes, that would have to be enough. 

I realized staying silent any longer would only bring more unease. “Though I wasn’t there in person all those years, I’m glad at least the memory of me was there with you. And…thank you for telling me.” 

I cherished her thoughts and wanted to tell her so, but my thankfulness would have to do for now. 

“It’s nearly supper time by now,” I added to keep her from having to feel pressure to answer back. 

Before suggesting we leave, I looked through one last shelf. Pulling the last book in the corner out, I saw gnomic on its cover. Excited, I almost called out to her, but pondered for a moment. She would be happy all the same, but I wanted to give it to her in a special way. Pushing the book back, I set to work on my plans.