He brought me through the winding hallways

bigger than any building I’ve ever seen.

It didn’t bother me though.

It’s strange, he seemed familiar;

like someone I knew from a past life.

It was comforting; even if we’d never met before.

We arrived at the room for the auditions.

He opened the door, and led me inside.

Inside were people, who all looked like they belonged on a billboards:
There were famous singers,

models,

and even a full girl group from another agency.

Was getting a contract under the Lition Corporation that valuable?

He spoke a few words to the man,

who would’ve fit right in with all of them if he was a girl.

Brown hair with a middle part,

an athletic build,

and his hands were pretty.

“Sir, I’m sure you know we’re on a time crunch;

the next group of contestants

were told to arrive at the exact time this group should be done.”
The man seemed desperate, but less fearful than the security guard.

He was probably in a higher position.

Everyone was looking at us.

“So we’ll just cut out some time from the other performances?”

He acted like it was the most obvious solution,

but it only seemed to stress hi-

“Jeez I’m your secretary, let me handle these things!

Or at least tell me!

We can’t just let some random girl waltz in here!”

I guess it was still a bit problematic for him; I felt bad,

but I needed to audition!

“Let her audition”

”I can’t just cut the time of a bunch of people that I already struggled to bring here!

Do you have any idea how hard it w-”

“I don’t care just do it; I’ll take the blame”
He walked away and closed the door leaving me with the Secretary.

All of a sudden I felt the stares of hostility from the other people.

They were like daggers.

They pierced into me.

I didn’t belong here…

“Uh sorry girl, could you please pretend you auditioned?
I don’t think we’ll have enough time for you…

The CEO can be unreasonable, but I can schedule you for some other time”

I probably should’ve just accepted his offer.

It would’ve probably stopped their hostility,

but in the moment all I could say was:

“Please just let me audition”

“I’m not sure we’ll even be able to fit you in” He said sighing;

He seemed aware of their gazes as much as I was.

“Please! I’ll perform at the very end.

I’ll use any time left;

just let me perform!”

I couldn’t give up.

I couldn’t.

I couldn’t after coming this far.

He sighed.

“Fine, I guess he did want you to audition.

You’ll only get 10 seconds though;

Are you sure?”

“Yes, that’s fine!” I smiled; as I made my way to those gazes.

He sighed.

Now that I was looking at them; 

I could recognize some of their faces:
One was a model that I’d seen on many buildings, while going to work.

Two were singers that were already successful.

Then there was girl group I thought already had a cont-”

”How much did you pay him for you to get snuck in?!”

She sounded angry,

and familiar…

Where had I heard this voice before?”

If I didn’t know any better

 I’d think it was the girl, who was with the CEO at the restaurant,

but there’s no way she’d mock someone about that

if she b-

It was her.

‘You going to ignore me again?”

She glared

I tried to walk away to the other side of the room, next to the model,

but she grabbed my wrist

This felt familiar.

“I want a proper apology this time!”
Ah I should’ve just gone home.

“It was only a few second cal-”

One of the members of the girl group tried to defend me.

“Shut up!  I’ll tell my dad you’re breaking the contract agreement!”

 The girl went silent after that.

In fact all of them went silent.

The room fell dead silent, as she continued to grab my wrist.

“Sorry…” I said sheepishly bowing.

“Kneel” She ordered.

“What?”

“I said kneel.

Just because Woo-Jin likes you a bit; it doesn’t mean anything.

I am going to marry him,

so you should already apologize for hanging around someone else’s future husband”

  She didn’t seem like she would stop unless I did as she said.

I’d gone through this many times before,

so I should just kneel.

“Testing? Testing?

Could you please all refrain from fighting?”
The voice of the secretary played through an intercom.

“Don’t tell me what to do!” She yelled annoyed, at the door leading to the intercom room.

“I-I’ll kneel” I muttered.

“You really don’t have to” The secretary said, as he left the intercom room to stop me.

He was probably thinking The CEO would be mad if I kneeled.

It was fine. I was used to this.

I just-

“No he’s right you don’t have to kneel…

It’d be easier if you just went home now.” She mocked.

“I-I’ll kneel” I muttered again.

  I would do anything to not give up on my dream.

She let go of my wrist.

I could feel their eyes.

The eyes that looked at me with pity.

The eyes that felt just like the ones my parents gave me.

Like I was delusional.

Like I was broken.

Like I was a child who wasn’t smart enough to come up with a good dream.

This is a good dream…

Please believe me…

I’ll do anything to succeed.

Just don’t look at me like that…

I kneeled down on the ground

I took a deep breath

and I apologized:

“Sorry…” I just wanted this to be over.

”Louder!” Her voice was loud, but what hurt,

was that I could feel them look at me with pity even more.

“Sorry.” Please just be over.

“LOUDER!”

Please stop looking at me that way!

“Sorry!”

Please… Just be over…

She finally seemed satisfied with my apology.

It was finally over,

but their eyes weren’t.

They all looked at me with pity.

Like I couldn’t do anything.

Like I needed help.

Like I was a fragile piece of glass that would get shattered at a moment’s notice.

At least she looked at me like I was someone.

Someone to hate.

Someone to hurt.

Someone who was at least worth something!

I should calm myself.

I stood up next to the rich girl.

There weren’t any seats, but I didn’t sit on the floor.

Their eyes would be so much worse if I did.

The first girl,

The model entered the intercom room.

That’s when I realized:
That was the audition room.

Everyone could hear her sing

Everyone could see her and the older woman, who was holding the audition.

Everyone would see me.

Everyone would hear me.

Everyone…

I should probably say I wasn’t completely honest…

The tragedies that struck me when I was young:

The first wasn’t my lack of musical talent.

It wasn’t anything like that...

I say that because it stops all the reactions I get if I give them my real answer.

Sure I grew to realize I didn’t have any talent when I got older,

but when I was young I was actually decent.

It was something else.

I had severe performance anxiety.

The first time I stepped onto a stage for a concert for kids.

I was actually one of the better violinists, but they still looked at me that way.

Those eyes…

My parents weren’t ever afraid of performing,

so everyone always wondered who I got it from.

Some even joked I might be someone else’s kid.

They even brought me to a therapist like I had some sort of problem.

I was a 6 year old; at the therapist.

She should’ve at least helped me.

She should’ve told my parents off,

but all she did was look at me with the same eyes, as those adults, when I froze up.

I just wanted them to acknowledge me…

“Alright, you’re up,” The secretary said.

The pity in his eyes had faded slightly.

That was nice.

“Thank you” I got up and walked into the Intercom room.

Their eyes still looked at me like I was pitiful.

I wanted to prove them wrong.

I wanted to muster up the courage.

I wanted-

… 

I couldn’t.

Those 10 seconds were valuable and I wasted them.

Like always…

I stepped out of the intercom room.

This was it.

This was all I had in me.

I’m glad I at least tried to see if it ever could’ve been.

Guess not…

I walked out of the building as slowly as I could.

I hoped that maybe, just maybe someone would stop me

and ask me to audition again.

Oh, the people all left.

That’s probably because all the successful people were gone.

I paused at the exit of the building.

What am I waiting for?
What does 2 more seconds accomplish?

Why can’t I move?

Why am I crying?

It’s not like it means that much to me…
I’ll be fine.

I’ll just deal with it like I always have.

I’ll-

“SUJIN!”

I must be hearing things now…

The voice of the CEO at a time like this?
How convenient.

I’m even imagining his footsteps.

I have such a convenient imagination.

My parents must’ve been right…

“Sujin!” The CEO turned me around to face him.

This wasn’t something I imagined.

He really was here in front of me.

All I could do was cry.

“I’m sorry”

I should apologize for wasting his time.

He thought I had talent and I failed him.

I shou-

“No, I’m sorry” He said as he embraced me.

No, please…

Not you too…

Please… Do-

He didn’t look at me with resentment, or pity;

He looked at me in expectation.

He gave me what I had wanted all this time.

His hands may have been beautiful,

but in this moment his eyes were the prettiest.

I could almost hear what he would say next:

“Please, Sing for me!” (Please, Sing for me!)

Thank you…