The ”N” Word
It was a typical school day. The alarm went off at 6:00am. I wanted to roll over and go back to sleep. Mom yelled at me from downstairs and asked if I was awake. As loud as her voice was, I thought I am now. I got out of bed and hopped in the shower and thought to myself, I only have the rest of this year to do this, then it is off to “real life.” I got out of the shower, dried myself off and looked in the mirror, combed my hair and splashed on some cologne. I grabbed my usual attire, some sweats, and a hoodie. Today I selected the black sweats and the green hoodie. Green was my favorite color. There was something about green that gave me confidence and brought me peace. Besides, I was going to be working with Sonoko today in biology class and I wanted to look and smell nice, in case she wanted to take a whiff. Mom called upstairs again and said that my breakfast was ready. I hurried downstairs to breakfast. I could smell the bacon before I got to the bottom of the stairs. There was homemade French toast with butter melting over it and syrup, and a glass of orange juice. It was like that every morning. Mom would make me a breakfast fit for a king. Mom was wearing green scrubs today and her hair was slicked back in a curly ponytail. She worked at Memorial Hospital. The nurses were on strike and even though Mom was the Director of Nursing, she had to trade her business suits for scrubs to help with the shortage of nurses. I scarfed down my breakfast as mom was headed off to work. I was so thankful to have such a wonderful mom.
Sonoko and I both attended Duke High School. I rode the bus to school and I noticed she got dropped off by her mom every morning. The outside of the building had been adorned in purple and white with the large head of our mascot bulldog. That’s who we were the Bulldogs. I was bussed in from my neighborhood and took the Number 17 bus every day at 6:45am to get to school by 7:15am. The tardy bell rung at 7:30am so it gave me just enough time to breathe and get my thoughts together for the day. The kids on the bus were noisy and unruly this early in the morning. The bus driver was Mr. Artie. His hair was solid white, and he spoke with a heavy accent. He didn’t seem to mind the ruckus from the students, he acted as though he enjoyed his job.
Maybe it was the only interaction he had with people all day, I heard he was a widower. Mom always said to be especially kind to old people because I would be old one day.
The school had undergone major renovations last year. We were a part of a test pilot. The classrooms had no doors, we had moveable partitions instead. This was supposed to make us feel less claustrophobic. I think it was more of a distraction because every time someone walked by or we heard a noise there was the temptation to look. We had a traditional cafeteria but if you didn’t want to eat there, vending machines with healthy food and sandwiches were strategically placed throughout the building. There were adjustable desks for ergonomically correct posture. It was an impressive school but all I really cared about were the “grab and go” vending machines.
The bell rang and it was time to go to my biology class. I think it was fate when Ms. Cameron put us together as lab partners. I’ll have to remember to invite her to our wedding. Opportunity knocked and I took advantage of this time to get to know Sonoko and win her over. Aside from Ms. Cameron who was legally off limits, Sonoko was every young man’s fantasy. She was petite with the curves of an hourglass. I was a “B and B” man, boobs and butt and she did NOT disappoint. Her hair was coal black and silky flowing down past her butt. Not only was she beautiful, but she was also articulate, creative, and intellectual. Not only did we talk about our biology project, but we talked about our likes, dislikes, families, and culture. Sonoko and I had so many commonalities. We got into some deep conversations. We both grew up as an only child in a single parent household. Neither of us knew who our fathers were. We both had maintained the honor roll and at least a 3.8 GPA throughout our 12 years of school. Soon, we started hanging out after class and eating lunch together. It was nice to have a friend.
Before I knew it the week had passed. I held my breath as I ran to Coach Bryant’s office to look at the sheet on his door letting me know if I made the team. Everybody was huddled in front of the coach’s door, and I couldn’t see if my name was on the list. Some left looking disappointed while others high fived, whooped and hollered. The path in front of the door had cleared, and my eyes skimmed the paper…there was my name! Karl with a” K” made the team! This was the beginning of a new chapter in my life. I was no longer just a plain old nerd, but a nerd jock and Sonoko and I were becoming inseparable. I had been crushing on her since my sophomore year, but then again so were a lot of other dudes. We finally had a chance to meet when we had to work together on a class project, and we have been a “thing” ever since.
Yep, a new chapter. I had to think about where I came from and how far I planned on going. I remember when school was not a fun place for me until I started playing football. I was bullied, alone and had no friends. I was just in third grade and life was already rough. I wanted to have a birthday party and invite some kids from school. Mom sent me to school with invitations to my birthday party. I was so excited because I thought that this was my big chance to make friends. They didn’t even have to bring me a present, I just wanted the kids to show up. Since I was a football fanatic, the theme had everything to do with football. There were football pinatas, cups and plates with helmets, and football gear, my cake was a replica of a football field and stadium. There were cardboard cutouts of footballs and helmets taped to the walls in the kitchen and den. We had my favorite foods. There was pepperoni, sausage, and cheese pizza, lemon lime soda, and honey barbecue potato chips. We planned for 10 kids. Did I even have one kid who would show up for free food? The invitation said 12:00noon. I looked at the clock…it was 12:45pm. I was hoping that one kid would show up. My mom tried to hide her disappointment from me. She kept telling me that someone was coming. But nobody did. After that, I decided that I would never put my trust in people or try to make friends again.
No one wants to feel like they are alone in the world. I didn’t have one friend, so I would have to watch other kids playing and having fun together, I was on the outside looking in. That was a difficult time for me.
Now things have changed and the girls started to notice me, but it was too late. With all narcissistic intentions aside, I was the complete package with my almost 4.0 GPA and full ride on a football college scholarship. I was now getting a lot of attention and was popular for being the brains and the brawn, but things didn’t start out that way for me as you know. I was invisible from kindergarten through the 11th grade. My fellow classmates knew me as the nerdy and awkward, skinny kid. Regardless since I first saw her I only had eyes for Sonoko and had already started planning my future with her.
When we first started talking and getting to know each other we had to tear down certain stereotypes.
Everybody has them when you are dealing with different ethnicities and cultures. I guess you could say that I didn’t fit the mold of most black guys. I don’t like rap music; I don’t care about being trendy and I am a sensitive caring person. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not better than anybody else and I’m not saying that black guys aren’t smart. I was just different and that’s why I think Sonoko loves me. I had been the “N” word up until the 12th grade. That’s right, I was a nerd. And now I am a nerdy jock. I am proud of what I have accomplished so far because I went from being a nerdy nobody to becoming a star running back for the Bulldogs.
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