Becoming a Magic School Mage

Chapter 10

“Is that so, professor?” Ehan replied, keeping his face neutral. It wasn’t his first time dealing with deranged professors, and he wasn’t about to make any rookie mistakes. “It’s certainly true that alchemy seems to be a subject where passion and a true love for the subject will earn you high marks.” There’s no way I’m taking this class again.

“Ah, I knew you’d agree,” Professor Uregorm said, looking immensely pleased. “Then take the class.”

“I... haven’t had the chance to look into the other classes yet...”

“Ah, don’t bother. Just take this one. You won’t find anything better.”

“I’d like to try out all the options before—”

“No! You must take this one!”

Ehan was starting to feel trapped.

Next to him, his classmates were looking at him with envy.

“As expected of House Wardanaz...”

“What incredible talent...”

They’re only pissing me off more, he thought grimly.

The professor glanced around and then said, “I suppose that’s all for today’s lesson, as unfortunately, the groups that headed elsewhere didn’t run into a pig.”

There was a heavy silence.

“Professor... Did you arrange for us to run into that pig?” one student asked in a horrified voice.

That thing had really been more like a monster than a pig. They might’ve ended up with broken bones and ruptured organs. They could’ve died!

“You seriously thought this was just an herb-gathering exercise? Obviously you should encounter the kinds of situations you might face while gathering ingredients in the real world,” Professor Uregorm replied as if stating the obvious.

“O- oh...”

“Sure enough, that was the case. See? The professor wouldn’t have sent them without any safeguards in place. Probably been behind us this whole time.”

“Aha...”

When one student offered up this rationalization, the others accepted it as well. It certainly sounded plau—

“What? Why would I follow you?” the dwarf professor asked incredulously. “I only showed up because the pig was defeated.”

“Th-then... What if someone was seriously hurt?!”

“Then that would mean you aren’t cut out for alchemy.”

There was another long silence.

Ehan thought he could hear every student’s heart cry out as one: You piece of sh*t...!

“Being an alchemist means knowing how to handle unexpected situations, either by neutralizing the threat, evading it, fleeing, or hiding, metalheads. Got it?” Professor Uregorm said.

“Yes, Professor!” the class answered.

“Um, then does that mean you don’t really need the filthweed?” Yonehr asked, cautiously raising her hand.

Professor Uregorm looked surprised. “You found it?”

“Yes.”

“Goodness. I didn’t think anyone would actually find it. Then you’ve earned your place in the class as well! Come over here. You absolutely must enroll as well!”

As she was dragged forward as well, Yonehr said, “Um, I didn’t find it alone. Nilia over there helped too.”

“Really? Then you’re also qualified to take this class! Come here!”

This time, Nilia was pulled in the same direction, looking like she wasn’t sure whether to be pleased or dismayed.

“And Wardanaz here...”

“Now you really, really have to take this class!”

Ehan had pretty much given up at this point. It was officially impossible to escape. I’m screwed. Even if he didn’t end up taking the class, it wasn’t exactly ideal to be in a professor’s sights like this. Professor Uregorm might even track him down in another class if he didn’t enroll in this one.

“I will do my best,” he declared. “I’ve always wanted to be an alchemist!”

“Attaboy...!” the professor beamed, reading his emotional fluctuation.

Ehan seemed to be the most mentally mature of all the first-years here. He’d clearly been reluctant to take the class at first, but once he’d seen there was no way out, he’d quickly come to terms with it and changed his demeanor.

Those of the noble houses generally wore their emotions on their sleeve, utterly unpracticed in hiding their emotions after a lifetime spent never having to do so. In that sense, Ehan was quite a fascinating case.

“Don’t be too disappointed. Enrolling in alchemy comes with certain perks,” the professor said, trying to console him.

It was a hard world for professors looking for disciples. Just as students tried out and evaluated their courses, professors evaluated their prospective students as well. And when they found a disciple they liked, they had to snatch them up, just as Uregorm was doing now. But grabbing on too tight could send the student running in the opposite direction, so the carrot was the best approach.

“What do you mean by ‘perks’?” Ehan asked.

“I have a cabin by the woods. Normally it’s off-limits to students, but since you took down those pigs and even found the filthweed, I’ll allow you access for the duration of this semester.

Ehan was unconvinced. The perk was that he got to visit the professor’s house? Would these so-called perks also include cleaning, taking out the trash, and doing all sorts of other chores, by any chance?

“Ah. I ought to have explained further,” Professor Uregorm said at the chilly glint in Ehan’s eyes, hurriedly tacking on, “Do you know what it is that metalheads want the most?”

“Easy classes?”

“Are you sure you’re really from House Wardanaz? Anyway, that’s not bad either, but the real answer is food. You might just look a little under the weather now, but give it another week and you’ll all be ready to eat each other.”

The professor had a point. More than eighty percent of Einrogard students came from well-to-do families, so of course they were miserable eating nothing but hard brown bread and cold rice balls.

“But in my cabin, you’ll find meat and fish I’ve hunted myself in the woods, and spices and vegetables harvested from a secret spot only I know about. Catch my drift?”

Now Ehan understood. He’d just gotten a ticket to an all-you-can-eat buffet!

“Yes, Professor!”

“Heh, you’re really starting to grow on me, kid.”

The two clasped each other’s hand, solidifying their newfound friendship.

* * *

After the lesson, as the other students shuffled to their next class—some of them muttering “Just see if I ever come back here again”—Ehan remained where he was.

Yonehr and Nilia gave him puzzled looks. “Aren’t you coming?”

“I’m going to butcher the pig,” he announced.

Both girls were stunned into silence.

“Brilliant!” Uregorm was the only one who was impressed, never having witnessed a student adapt so quickly to the ways of Einrogard.

“Professor, are these pigs really edible?” Ehan asked.

“They’ve only grown more violent, nothing that would interfere with eating them.”

“I see. Could you perhaps lend me some tools so I can butcher and smoke it?”

“Kid, you’re already starting to like alchemy, aren’t you?”

“Yes. I really, really love alchemy.”

Having accepted his fate, Ehan decided to love alchemy from now on. If the professor is right, then we can’t just wait around expecting to be fed.

Come to think of it, the clues had been there. The headmaster had mentioned that ingredients for food could be found on Einrogard’s campus, and had provided next to nothing while also preventing students from leaving school grounds. Clearly, it was up to the first-years to make do.

I would say I can’t believe a school like this exists, but nothing surprises me anymore. This school wouldn’t even care if you died, so it was barely even shocking that you’d have to find your own food.

Ehan lugged the two pigs in the direction of the brook. Access to running water would be helpful in draining the blood and removing the organs.

“Let me help,” Yonehr said, rolling up her sleeves as she approached.

“Are you sure?”

“Chances are we’ll have to handle worse ingredients than this down the line. You’ll share some of the meat in exchange, right?”

Ehan thought he could hear her stomach growling.

Nilia, who was standing behind them, asked in disbelief, “You two’re really going to butcher that pig?!”

“Yes.”

“Seriously? At school...?”

“You aren’t hungry?”

After a pause, Nilia said brightly, “All right! I’ll help too!”

Ehan had learned the basics of hunting and butchering from Alarlong, but Nilia was an expert in this area, and Yonehr was no amateur either, thanks to her practice in handling alchemical ingredients.

“Here you go. This should be enough,” said Professor Uregorm, handing them a bunch of tools with eyes that seemed to say, Let’s see how you do.

Ehan unsheathed the dagger and began removing the pig’s skin right away.

He’s good! Nilia was honestly surprised. She hadn’t expected a noble like Ehan to be anywhere near as good at this as she was.

The three of them worked together to finish skinning the pig, then separated the meat and hung it on the branches of the nearby trees. The pigs were so big that they yielded a huge haul of meat, but Ehan saved the intestines as well. I’ll make sausages with these. Since he had no idea how long this hellish stage of his first-year life would last, he needed all the food supplies he could get.

“Are you going to smoke it too?” the professor asked.

“Yes.”

“Not bad!”

They couldn’t just leave all this meat lying around. No matter how cool the weather had gotten, meat would still spoil after a while if left out, but smoking would preserve it for far longer. It was a very good method for first-years to use.

“Professor, I’ll be using these logs for smoking.”

“W- wait,” Uregorm said, alarmed by the sight of Ehan laying hands on the wood pile near the cabin. Smoking meat couldn’t be done with just any old wood—the better-smelling the wood, the tastier the finished product would be. Ah, that’s the quality applewood I was saving...

Gifted with an eye for the good stuff, Ehan snapped it right up, leaving the professor sighing in disappointment. “Nilia, will this be enough?”

“Of course, that’s more than enough.”

Billows of smoke wafted through the air, and the smell of sizzling meat pierced their noses as sweat beaded on the brows of the hardworking trio.

He turned his head when he heard another growling sound. It wasn’t coming from Yonehr or Nilia this time, but from the dwarven professor. “Are you hungry, Professor?”

“Yes, I am feeling a bit peckish.”

Ehan stood up. Grad students were conditioned to move automatically when their professors were hungry. I should grill some of the meat too, since we have so much of it. “Professor, may we have some of the bread and butter...?”

“Don’t take too much,” Professor Uregorm grumbled, but couldn’t complain anymore about a meal they were all sharing.

Ehan put some meat in a cast iron pan, not just slapping it on but making sure to season it properly with salt and pepper first, then kneading it with his hands.

“What are you doing?”

“Preparation,” he answered.

The professor didn’t know why you’d bother going to such lengths when you could just toss the steak on the pan, but Ehan didn’t stop there. He made shallow cuts in the meat, drizzled oil into the pan, then finally placed the seasoned steak into it.

The aroma of meat cooking filled the air as the sizzling got louder. Ehan added some vegetables that he had grabbed from the side of the cabin into the pan as well.

“Why did you stop?” the professor asked in surprise. The meat wasn’t fully cooked yet, but Ehan seemed to have taken a break.

“It’s good to add butter like this,” he replied.

“You’re not botching this on purpose to claim you’re unfit for alchemy, are you?” the professor asked, eyeing the first-year skeptically. He should know that Uregorm had no intention of letting him go that easily.

“Don’t judge it till you’ve tried it,” Ehan said.

Once the meat was perfectly seared, they ended up with a respectable meal of pork chops and grilled vegetables, along with some of the thick bread and butter that Ehan had taken from the professor’s cabin. The bread wasn’t freshly baked, but it sure beat the hard brown stuff they’d been eating. The four of them dug in, a sudden silence falling over them as they focused intently on their meal.

Professor Uregorm was the most voracious eater of the bunch. Tearing off a large chunk of bread, the dwarf wedged a generous piece of pork into it before happily chowing down, then retreated into the cabin for a moment and reemerged with a jar of jam.

The students stared, open-mouthed.

“I’ll share, so quit gawking, metalheads.”