Freyr could feel the silent pressure of having two servants behind him as he ate. He had at least hoped Íris would join him, after Sir Magni had turned down the breakfast invitation, yet it turned out that she, too, had already eaten before she came to wait on him. Freyr felt a bit alienated since he actually had sincerely enjoyed the conversations the night before about the different books they each read. The stark difference in their behavior was a clear reminder, though, that the two Taicirusians were only here to serve him and guide him to his new life. So Freyr silently picked at his breakfast; overly aware of the two pairs of eyes watching him from behind.
Freyr had specifically chosen this time to eat breakfast every day because it was well before anyone else would be in the dining hall, meaning there were usually little to no servants as well. Freyr used to enjoy his small private meals, yet now the presence of two servants who were practically strangers was throwing Freyr for a loop. He suddenly felt so small, and the dining hall felt so massive. His anxiety started to make him lose what little appetite he had.
Suddenly Freyr felt a warm touch on his right hand. Freyr did his best not to flinch in surprise because, although it was a stronger warmth than he was used to, he recognized the feeling of a deity’s touch. Brandi had noticed his anxiety and had split off from her Favored One, yet again, to come see Freyr instead.
The humanoid flame spirit just smiled softly at Freyr, almost knowingly. The warmth that overcame him in that moment was the same warmth he experienced anytime he curled up by the hearth on a cold winter night with one of his favorite books. It just made his eyes start welling up for once instead. The feeling was another thing he would be leaving behind that he had tried not to think about.
Freyr had no clue what his life was going to actually look like once he arrived in Taicirus, but he could only imagine two options: either he somehow made it to his marriage in one piece and would have his days filled with the duties that came with being the spouse of the future king of Taicirus, or Freyr would be found out and have to suffer through a severe punishment for deceiving the royal family of a different kingdom. Neither option he imagined would allow him to take a long break whenever he wanted to read in front of a fire.
Freyr appreciated the flame spirit’s attempt to calm him, but it ended up just being too much. Freyr gently placed his silverware back down; only a quarter of his food had been touched. Brandi seemed to realize she had only made him feel worse, because she pulled away with a worried look on her face. When Freyr glanced downward and avoided her eyes, she was quick to pick up that he didn’t want her divine warmth again any time soon. In the corner of his eye, Freyr could see Brandi slowly move past him and go back to her Favored One.
Freyr took a deep breath and made sure he felt his eyes dry up a bit. He then turned to address Íris and Sir Magni. “I believe I have finished eating for now.” Freyr knew his mother wouldn’t let him hear the end of it if he just brought the two servants back to his living quarters, so he blurted out the first place he could think of to visit next. “Since I have finished eating, I would like to visit the training grounds so that I can chat with my sibling. My twin often does their morning training with the castle guards around this time; if Sir Magni would like to discuss what duties Ástlander guards are in charge of while you are here, it would be a good opportunity for you to come along.”
The Taicirusian knight bowed slightly; it almost seemed like he had a habit of constantly bowing towards Freyr. “If that is Your Royal Highness’ wish, I shall oblige and do so.”
Freyr stood up from his seat and started towards the door Íris and Sir Magni were still standing by. He had come up with an idea that would keep Sir Magni busy, but Freyr was still drawing a blank on how to distract Íris. Perhaps he would luck out on the way to the training grounds and come up with something. If he couldn’t, then he would have to bank on Íris giving Freyr and his sister enough personal space to talk.
Freyr walked through the doorway, exiting the dining hall, and turned in the opposite direction of where the small group had come from before his small breakfast. Íris and Sir Magni followed him through, but still kept a respectable distance behind Freyr instead of walking beside him. Freyr understood the Taicirusian customs were strict about things like the distance between servant and master, yet the silence that the distance caused still felt stiff and awkward for him. Freyr picked up his pace, ever so slightly; wanting to just get to the training grounds so he could see and talk with Freyja already.
Freyr wasn’t sure exactly what he wanted to talk to his sister about yet, but he had a feeling that just seeing Freyja going through her usual morning routine would help ground him. Freyr was searching for any sense of familiarity to reassure him that everything was going to be fine; his morning had already felt twisted and jumbled up with the three new presences in his life. It was as if it was a warped reality where everything was just similar enough to give him an uncanny valley feeling about his life, yet different enough to remind him that his life up to now was no longer going to be his life.
Freyr now almost wished that the envoy had taken him away the night before; only so he didn’t have to disrupt his memories of the castle halls he saw everyday with the uneasy feeling he was getting by having two foreigners trailing behind him and watching his every move. He suddenly felt compelled to take a quick break next to a random portrait of one of his Dragonkin ancestors. By coincidence it was a portrait of one of his male ancestors who had actually come from the far side of the Ástland Kingdom to marry into the Frotleikr bloodline. Lightly touching the portrait, Freyr wondered if his ancestor had any similar feelings as he currently was having.
The neutral face staring back at Freyr from the portrait belonged to someone else in his bloodline who had uprooted their entire life to travel for months; only to marry someone who he, also, had barely met. Freyr recalled from his history lessons that the man who was pictured in front of him had actually had a very successful life in the Frotleikr family. He had even ended up helping his wife rule one of the Ástland Kingdom’s most fruitful eras. Freyr wondered if he would live up to his ancestor’s legacy, and would end up leading an unfamiliar land to posterity, or if the mix up at the engagement ceremony would end up cursing not only him, but the people he was now meant to rule over.
Freyr realized he was starting to feel anxious and emotional again about his future. He quickly dropped his hand from the painting and turned back towards the direction of the training grounds. He really didn’t need Íris and Sir Magni seeing his vulnerable state any more than they already had. If rumors spread about how the Taicirusian Prince’s fiancée was emotionally unstable, it would only cause more issues for both Freyr and his betrothed; which only meant yet another reason for Prince Aleksei and the rest of the Silvius family to become angry with Freyr.
Freyr took a semi shaky breath, then continued onwards towards their destination, hoping, and praying to any deity who was listening, that neither Íris nor Sir Magni mentioned the sudden stop. He really didn’t feel like having to answer any inquiries that he himself was unsure how to answer. As Freyr suddenly felt a warmth emanating behind him, he suddenly remembered that there was a deity directly present. A certain flame spirit who, considering how he left his half hearted prayer open ended, was probably also hearing and deciding to respond to said prayer. It seemed like even if one of the two mortals behind Freyr wanted to say something, they now wouldn’t be able to without consequences.
Freyr felt a bit bad for his inadvertent threatening via flame deity, yet he couldn’t say anything since it would reveal things to the foreigners that not even his family knew. So Freyr just put one foot in front of the other and tried to ignore the semi threatening presence that wasn’t directed towards him. He was sure Brandi would cool off on the threatening pressure by the time they reached the training grounds. Right?
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