I took the bus downtown to try my luck and find Veronica. Trying to find a person in Manhattan without any form of contact was just like trying to find a needle in a haystack. The thought was occasionally derailed by an article being read in front of me by an older man. It was about a string of murders occurring throughout New York, each with the same MO: a man was found having either been drained or bled out from a wound in his neck, typically in a motel room.

The article sent a shiver down my spine, but I did my best to shake it off as I departed the bus. My mind was focused on Veronica. I scoured the streets and shelters looking for her. Believe me when I say with New York’s homeless population, it’s not easy. About 1 in 83 people were homeless in NYC, with a couple of thousand in the Manhattan streets alone. The fact that she didn’t ring a bell at any of the shelters made it that much harder.

I spent several hours looking through what I could of Manhattan. If I couldn’t find her, then she had to be in one of the other boroughs. I would have had to check them off one by one, day by day, which was a bit demoralizing. The feeling was eventually vanquished as I slumped my way down Broadway. After what felt like an entire journey, I found her, sitting along a wall under an inactive marquee sign. Next to her was a cup and a piece of cardboard with “ANYTHING HELPS” written on it.

“Lunch break?” I joked.

Veronica looked towards me as I sat down next to her. Her eyebrows arched in surprise, but she kept her cool. I smiled nervously as I lifted the bag of stroganoff. She smirked.

“I’m sure the boss wouldn’t mind,” she quipped.

She looked over at the cup next to her. Aside from a few singles, it was practically empty. She growled quietly and clicked her tongue. I pulled the tupperware of food out with some disposable utensils and handed it to her. Before I could even say anything she started digging into it. A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth as some grunts of pleasure escaped with each bite.

“Where’d you find this?” she asked.

“Made it myself.”

Veronica looked at me, impressed. She nodded to herself as she kept eating, her smile widening.

“I didn’t use too much salt?” I asked nervously.

“Yer good, mate,” she responded, her mouth full. “Beef could’a been more rare, though.”

“Right. Bloody rare, bloody good.”

“You live and learn.”

Her smile dimmed for a moment as she eyed me curiously.

“How’d you even find me?” she asked.

“You know, good old fashioned detective work. Looking for clues, asking around-”

“You had no idea where I was, did you?”

I opened my mouth, struggling to come up with anything. I sighed quietly as I nodded, mildly embarrassed. Veronica chuckled quietly as she took another bite of the food.

“Well, you’ve got gumption, I’ll give you that,” she said quietly. “So now I’ve got the how. Question is why?”

I looked towards Veronica, struggling to speak again. She raised an eyebrow as she gave me an amused smile. For some reason it scrambled my mind more. I looked away towards the ground, my face starting to flush.

“I didn’t know how to thank you,” I said quietly. “I don’t have much, but I figured maybe you could use a hot meal. It’s all I’m really good at.”

Veronica’s gaze narrowed as her smile turned into a grin.

“It’s nothin’. Just payin’ back what I owed.”

“Well, if you hadn’t shown up, I would have been dead.”

“It would have been a helluva beating, for sure-”

“I mean it.”

I fell silent. Veronica’s smile disappeared as she continued to stare at me. I could feel my mind drifting from reality to what could have been. I was back in the alley, feeling every hit I took. My hands tightened and my breath shuttered at the thought of it.

“You wonder how slow it would have been,” I uttered quietly. “Just bleeding out, unable to make a sound, wondering how long until someone noticed… if someone noticed. And then how long until Jess found out? Or if she'd be freaking out until someone found me and-”

A hand gently gripped mine. I shook myself out of it before slowly turning my head towards Veronica. Her hand was cold to the touch, yet oddly comforting, like feeling ice on a hot summer day despite the chill in the air. In spite of that, her cool eyes and smile were warm and calming.

“It’s just a ‘what if’ now, yeah?” she said quietly.

My mind eased itself as I nodded. Veronica nodded back as she finished off her food.

“That’s the scary part about the world. You could leave it any time.”

As she took the last bite, she stared off thoughtfully for a moment before looking back towards me with a devilish smirk.

“You got my note?” she asked.

“Yeah. What exactly was that about?”

Veronica’s smirk turned to bemusement. She laughed quietly to herself as she shook her head.

“Seems pretty obvious. ‘You get what you paid for?’”

“I thought you meant for saving my life?”

“Oh, you sweet summer child,” Veronica muttered quietly, her head sinking. “C’mon.”

Veronica got to her feet, pulling me up by my hand. I let out a surprised gasp as she dragged me behind her. She tossed the tupperware back to me while doing so, causing me to clumsily catch it in the bag.

“Sounds like you could have died before you actually lived,” she responded. “Jess a girlfriend or something?”

“No!” I responded loudly. “She’s my sister!”

“She know what you’re doing?”

“I mean, I told her I’d be out for a bit.”

“Then she’s got nothing to worry about,” she responded reassuringly.

She looked back towards me with another curious look.

“Exactly which birthday was it last night?”

“Eighteenth.”

“Hmmm. Lucky you.”

“Not-”

I suddenly found Veronica’s hand pulling me in by my waist. I fell silent when my brain finally realized what was happening. My jaw clenched to the point where I’m shocked I didn’t break my teeth. Her smirk widened as she glanced over towards me.

She pulled me to a nearby motel. It was out of the way and not in the best part of the city. Despite that, the location wasn't terrible. I’m not saying it was the Ritz; it was definitely old and by all accounts a hole in the wall. At least it was clean and didn’t have paint peeling everywhere. After paying with cash at the front desk, they handed her a key and she pulled me towards its direction. The confidence in where she went hinted she’d been here before.

The room itself was small and unimpressive, yet oddly quiet. At the front desk, I could hear the traffic zooming and blaring away. In here, it was like its own universe. All I could hear were our footsteps and the creaks of the floor. You wouldn’t have expected as much from something that looked so dingy.

“Gotta say, it is nice to get off the streets every now and again,” Veronica said, tossing her duster to the side.

Her full outfit was revealed: a green zip up vest with brown leather pants. It was there I finally realized how statuesque she was. The coat made her so unassuming in comparison. By all accounts, anyone who saw her probably would have considered her perfect. Her figure, her skin, and her confident poise made her feel more like a goddess from a painting standing in front of me. There were different elements of her that were unique and unconventional, and yet it was everything that made Veronica the figure standing in front of me.

I struggled to speak, unsure of how to address her. She glanced back towards me and smiled reassuringly. I looked away, my face having drained of most color. The embarrassment became more fear than anything.

“Do you do this a lot?” I asked meekly.

“Here and there,” she responded nonchalantly. “Moreso when I’m short.”

I glanced at her off the corner of my eye before nodding. I struggled to speak, simply motioning between the two of us as she sat on the bed. She chuckled quietly.

“Think of it as a birthday gift.”

“Why?” I choked out.

“Maybe I don’t like owing favors. Maybe you cook a mean dish.”

Veronica leaned forward as she patted the bed, motioning for me to come over. I slowly shuffled over to the bed and sat down at the very edge. She patted the mattress again. 

“C’mon, I don’t bite,” she said with a laugh.

I briefly glanced at her again before I barely shuffled closer to her. I could hear a light sigh as she moved to my side. She grabbed my jacket and gently removed it from me. She placed her hand on my chest and slowly leaned me back. As gentle as she was, there was an unusual strength to her push. Off the corner of my eyes, I could see her piercing gaze staring at me. The warmth from when she comforted me was gone, now replaced with a numb detachment.

“There’s nothing to be scared of,” she said soothingly. “Just relax.”

I could feel my body tense up more. For some reason, the words felt ominous, like I was being taunted. The words weren’t inviting, or rather they felt disguised as an invitation. I clenched my eyes tightly. Her body pulled close to mine as her hand ran up to my head along my cheek. A leg wrapped around mine, like a snake constricting prey. The strength of her grip belied the delicacy of her touch.

“After all… you get what you pay for.”

Her fingers started to dig into my skull. I could suddenly feel her breath up against my neck. As it did, a sound escaped me. You’d expect some sort of primal or guttural sound of pleasure or excitement. Most people would dream of this sort of thing. Instead, all I could utter out was a small whimper. Suddenly, Veronica’s breath stopped and her grip lessened. I let out another one. I couldn’t contain the fear, and I was overwhelmed by another feeling as I realized the sounds I was making: embarrassment.

“God damn it,” Veronica muttered with a pitiful sigh.

I tried to speak, wanting to apologize, but I couldn’t even utter that. I half expected her to kick me out or walk out on her own to let me wallow in my pathetic disgust. I waited for her words to ask me to leave and never see her again. Instead, she pulled me close to her. It wasn’t like the snare it felt like I was being pulled into before. This pull felt more like when she took my hand, and suddenly the warmth returned.

“I’m sorry,” I finally choked out.

My body curled up against hers. She cradled my head, holding it against her chest as she let out another quiet sigh and stroked my hair with her hand. I lost track of time, fading to the rhythm of her breaths and shallow heartbeat. She just stayed there, comforting me until I could finally sit back up on my own accord. Despite the humiliation, neither of us really rushed out the door. As I placed my hand on the knob, I froze.

“For what it’s worth, a lot of first timers get gun shy,” Veronica said, trying to reassure me.

I didn’t respond. I could still barely look at her.

“Look,” she laughed. “It's not really livin’ if it scares you more than dying. So how ‘bout we take a rain check on the present? Whenever you’re ready, we’ll try again.”

“Might need another birthday or two before that happens.”

I looked over at Veronica. She gave me a small smile. A tiny one of my own tugged at the corner of my mouth. As I opened the door, she tossed the bag with the tupperware back towards me. I spun around and caught it, staring back at her.

“Wouldn’t mind another lunch, though. Same time, same place? Just ease up on the sear, yeah?”

I laughed quietly as I nodded and departed. I made my way home as quickly as possible, hoping to beat Jess back before she asked too many questions. Thankfully I didn’t get the third degree, although she wondered where the hell the stroganoff was when I got back. She was less than happy to see that disappear. 

None of that was what got to me. What bothered me was what I found out the next day. As we ate breakfast before Jess’ shift, another news report broke out about the serial killings. This time, it was at the motel I had visited, several rooms over from the one I had visited. When the story played out over the TV, I felt myself go cold. I had frozen right before taking a bite of food, like some statue.

“Hey! Dink!”

I jolted, dropping the fork. I looked back towards Jessie, who stared back at me in confusion. She laughed quietly.

“What are you freaking out about? It’s not like you’d end up there.”

I could feel the sweat pouring down my face. I laughed nervously as I did my best to shovel the food down. If she had any idea, she’d be singing a different tune. And for a moment, I thought back to the motel room. The moment with Veronica began to replay in my head, specifically the one when she told me there was nothing to be scared of. The more it played, the more that cold feeling began to take over my body 

Christ, I hope I was just imagining things.