Mika sat up straight.
“He actually used to have a lot of friends when he was a kid,” she said. “Or, at least kids he called friends. He was always a bit awkward and shy but at least he tried. He tried to match their interests, go places they liked to go, do things they liked to do, all that stuff. Not much of it actually interested him, he just wanted to be included. He was the weird kid that liked to play with frogs in mud puddles while the rest of them were playing video games or at a park. He was also the kid that liked anime and liked to pretend he was different characters. He even pretended to be Zoro from One Piece, and did Three Sword Style on some kid that was picking on another kid at school.”
Mika’s eyes went wide and he smiled. “Really?” he laughed.
Kana laughed, too. “Really. I think he got suspended for like two days or something. Our mom was so mad. Dad was proud of him for sticking up for the other kid when no one else would.” She shrugged. “That’s Gen for you, though.” She sipped her tea.
“Anyway, on top of being the school weirdo, he was also extremely smart. And you know how kids are with smarties…”
Mika nodded. “We’re targets.”
“Exactly. Gen went being just made fun of, to just downright being bullied. It came to a head when he was in middle school. He had realized when he was about nine or ten that he liked other boys but since he was already being targeted, he didn’t want to make it worse for himself. He had seen what some kids did to those they thought were ‘different’. In his first year of middle school, that spring, in fact, there was a boy he liked and he made the mistake of telling him.”
Kana clutched her mug, her eyes holding Mika’s as he wrapped his arms around himself, suddenly wishing he had his hoodie instead of just his shirt.
“The kid didn’t freak out or hit him or anything,” she continued. “What that shit did was way worse. He got a group of his friends together and they invited Gen to go out to the woods to play hide-and-seek. Gen was ‘It’. When he counted to one hundred, he went to go find his friends but they had all disappeared, leaving him alone in a place that was unfamiliar and scary with no way out. They abandoned him there as a joke and didn’t bother to tell anyone. They had a real good laugh about it, too. When he didn’t get home by dark, my dad panicked. I was a mess and thought it was my fault because I should have watched him better. But I was a teenager and he was my punk little brother.” She glanced up to the second story landing where Gen’s loft was, her eyes sad. “You should have seen him, Mika,” she said so quietly he wondered if he had heard her correctly.
She huddled into her chair and shook her head at the memory. “He was devastated. He really believed those kids liked him and wanted to be his friends. He was nothing but a target, someone to pull a nasty prank on as punishment for being gay. I never told my dad I knew that’s why they did it. Neither did Gen. Really, it didn’t matter. Dad was livid and my little brother was scarred even deeper by someone else leaving him behind.”
She looked at Mika. “He hasn’t interacted with or befriended anyone since. He’s never even had a boyfriend, never kissed anyone, never held hands, never gone on a real date, nothing, because of what that kid did to him. You’re the first.”
Mika’s eyebrow ticked. “But…we only just started–”
Kana winked. “I’m his sister, I know everything, even before it happens.”
She set her cup down on the side table and drew her knees up under her baggy shirt, the straps of her sports bra showing. “I hope you appreciate how hard it was for him to confess to you today. He had no expectation that you’d ever want to talk to him again. For those two hours before you messaged him, he was edgy. He didn’t have to say anything or do anything different. I can just tell; I know my baby brother better than anyone. He genuinely cares for you, Mika. You aren’t going to be some ‘here today, gone tomorrow’ fling for him. That’s not what he’s about. I guess what I’m saying is…'' she smiled kindly at him. “Break his heart and I’ll destroy every piece of anime merch you own.”
Mika’s eyes went wide and he laughed. “I understand. Believe me, I feel the same way about him.” He blushed and looked away. “I’m safe with him. I can’t risk losing that. Not ever.”
She sat forward, her legs popping out of her shirt. “If that’s true, then you need to weigh your desire to be with him against your need to keep your secrets.”
Mika sat back and crossed his arms. “I do plan on telling him…everything. Just not all at once. It’s–”
“A lot, I get it,” Kana nodded and put her hand on his knee. “You come from a really fucked up home life, the details of which I can’t even begin to imagine. But if those marks on your neck are just a small part of it, I don’t want to.” She reached over and took his hand in hers. He looked into her dark brown eyes…the same eyes as Gen. “We said it a couple of times earlier but I want you to understand how serious we are. This home is your home. If you ever feel like you’re in danger, you come here. You’re truly safe here, Mika Torino. Okay?”
Mika nodded and smiled. This woman really was a passionate one. “Thank you, Kana. Really.” A yawn broke free unbidden and he covered his mouth, apologizing.
Kana chuckled and stood up, stretching, her pale smooth belly showing briefly. “Don’t worry about it, kiddo,” she said. “We should both get to bed, don’t you think? He’s probably missing you right about now.” She glanced back up at the landing. Mika’s eyes followed her gaze. There stood Gen in a white tee shirt and gray pajama pants, leaning over the railing, watching them. He gave a small crooked smile and raised a few fingers in greeting.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hey,” Mika replied. He turned back to Kana who wrapped him in a warm, Jasmine scented hug.
“Remember what I said.” She kissed the top of his head and released him. “Your hoodie is at the bottom of the stairs. You completely missed it when you came down.”
“Oh, thanks,” he chuckled nervously and headed Gen’s way, grabbing the hoodie as he went. He climbed the stairs and met his boyfriend at the railing.
“Everything okay?” Gen asked, reaching out to him.
Mika stepped into his arms, his head on Gen’s chest. He nodded and said, “I need to tell you about today.”
“You don’t have to, it’s fine.”
“I want to.” He raised his head. “You deserve it.”
-*-
They sat in the bed, propped up against the pillows, Mika changed into the sleepwear he had brought with him in his backpack in the hopes he wouldn’t be going home tonight. He had his knees bent, his wrists resting on them, as he told Gen about what Thomas did and why.
“My mom never asked me to hide the gun,” he said. “She just said it to make him stop hurting me.” He touched his throat, rubbing it gently. “Didn’t work, though. It never does, but she keeps trying.” He paused a moment before continuing. “He never even knew you were there. The timing of everything was purely coincidental.” He looked up at Gen who was watching him, taking in everything Mika had said.
“What’s even more screwed up is that when he gets back, he’ll apologize, be nice for a while, and then snap again. That’s how this goes, a vicious loop that we’re trapped in because my mom is too scared to get away. I’ve taken all the hits for her and the kids. They’re weaker than me, so it’s fine.”
“It’s not fine,” Gen said firmly.
“Gen–”
“Mika, he could have killed you. He was trying to kill you. If he had succeeded then there would have been no one there to stop him from hurting the rest of your family. I know for a fact he knows that, too. My dad has seen a lot of murders go down that way. Their prime target is gone, so they select another one. Child abuse doesn’t end with just one kid, especially if there’s more in the house.”
Mika swallowed. Gen was right and he knew it. If Mika somehow was no longer around, Thomas would target one of the younger kids, it didn’t matter that they were his. He always figured the reason he was the one Thomas went after was because he didn’t belong to Thomas. He was someone else’s son and that disgusted him somehow.
Filthy little twink, your father went to his death ashamed of having a stupid little cocksucker like you. I bet he was happy to die just to get away from you.
Thomas’ words bounced in his head, making him flinch. He closed his eyes and hugged his knees.
Gen noticed and wrapped his arms around him, drawing him close. “If I could take you away from there, I would,” he said. “Without a second thought.”
“Why don’t you?”
“It’s too dangerous,” Gen replied sadly. “I’d save you but kill them.”
Mika rested his head against Gen’s shoulder. The pros of dating the son of a cop…he knew way too much about situations he’d never even been in. He turned, curling into Gen’s side, letting him hold him, running his fingers up and down his arm.
“I’m sorry,” Gen said softly. “About your back.”
Mika shook his head. “How could you have known?” He put his hand on Gen’s chest, absently toying with the fabric under his fingers. “Do you work tomorrow?”
Gen shook his head. “First Saturday I’ve had off in a while, actually. Good timing, I guess.”
“What’s the occasion?”
A one-armed shrug was the response. “Don’t know, don’t care. I get to spend the day with someone I actually care to be around, nothing else matters.” He tightened his arms around Mika, kissing the top of his head. “So, what did you and my sister talk about?”
“You.”
“‘Break his heart and I’ll destroy your merch,’ I heard her say. Scariest threat to an otaku I’ve ever heard.”
“So then you missed the majority of the conversation,” Mika chuckled softly.
“Guess so.”
Mika hesitated before saying, “She told me about what happened…in middle school.”
Gen’s hand stopped moving and his whole body tensed. Mika ran his hand over Gen’s chest and around to his side, hugging him.
“She shouldn’t have told you that,” he said.
“Don’t be upset with her. I would have found out eventually, right?”
“I would have preferred to have told you myself.” He sighed. “But you’re right. Those kids really fucked with me, bad. I couldn’t just trust having friends, I couldn’t trust anyone period. Especially since my mom had left not long before that. Trauma on top of trauma. Not too terribly fun, I gotta say.”
“I understand that,” Mika nodded.
“I grew up hating everyone around me, making an effort to be ignored and feared. I got my first piercing when I was sixteen, my first set of tattoos at seventeen. Grandad picked out the meanest looking truck because I told him that’s what I wanted. I enjoy more violent shows because I can relate to certain characters in them. I wear what I wear because, yeah I like it, but also because it tells people around me to just leave me alone. I’m invisible and it keeps me safe. I’ve built this sphere around myself of intimidation to keep people out, but…really…I’m lonely…”
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