Behold something so terribly grand!

I sit in the yellow coated cab and watch streetlights whizzing by like they're the ones moving and I'm the one sitting still. The roads are all desolate. Only an occasional car passes by every few minutes. A silence pervades the air that is oddly pleasing to me. It reminds me of the times I sit in the locker room and wallow in silence. It's just so quiet. The short and stocky cab driver has the radio playing ever so faintly, almost as if the music was just outside the car. He slightly mumbles to the music under his breath, barely knowing the words as he taps his front two fingers to the beat. I reposition myself a little and the cracked leather seats squelch. “We made it to The Jungle, kid,” he says gruffly. I look out the window intently. The buildings here are so different from the ones I'm used to. They're plain and simple looking. Some are actual houses with gable roofs, picket fences, and even grass covered yards. Sprinklers are on in a few yards watering the grass, creating soft mists that wisp away onto the windshield as the wind blows through the water droplets.

The apartment buildings only span two stories and don't seem to have an obscene amount of residents; only single apartments each rest upon each level. The stores are just as simple. They sit stand alone as individual establishments and all of them are closed. There's no rush of a giant crowd, there's no cacophony of smells or sound. All of the buildings are structurally sound, and are in neat, thought out complexes and rows. “What kind of people live in these houses? They're huge!” I say. We reach a red stoplight and look at a wooden house on the corner. “Like what about that one? I've never seen any house so lavish in my life...” “I’d rather not get into any of that, kid.” The light turns green.

I look up through the dirty window and at the night sky. The stars twinkle like diamonds under the yellow moon. “So, you tell me you're looking for a Mate, huh?” He looks through his furrowed, bushy eyebrows at me through the reflection in his fingerprint pressed rearview mirror. “Yes, I guess I am,” I reply. He slowly turns the radio off and continues to look at me. “You don't guess about these kinds of things, kid. What are you looking for in these Mates? You don't seem like the kinda guy to be doing this kinda thing, or one who should be hanging around these parts.” “I'm looking for love.” He chuckles a phlegmy laugh, but in a split second realizes I'm serious. “Here?!” He turns his head around to look at me with a weird glance through the bars of the headrest and then back at the road. He shakes his head and says, “This isn't a place for love, guy. What goes on in these streets is horrible.” “My friend said I can find women here, really feminine ones. I want to see them for myself and experience true love. I want to get married and live my life with purpose, knowing that I love a woman.” 

He kind of squirms and shakes his head. “Dude, I really don't think you exactly know what goes on down here.” We pull over, parallel to, and against the sidewalk. Thanks to the camera on the back of his seat, I already paid for the fare when we left. “That’ll be your stop up there.” He points at a building decently far away with a beautiful neon sign outside of it. “It's called Euphorika. You can find all sorts of women inside there. They'll have you experiencing something alright.” I stare at the sign as it flickers and dances. I'm so close to my goal, I'm so close to finding love! Women are in there, real women just like the one in the movie! I become restless as my heart pounds in my ears. If there are women in there, maybe my life of meaninglessness actually had a reason to suck for so long. If I didn't work at the landfill I wouldn't have found the movie and come here. Maybe, love was the answer all along.

“Listen, though, I can't in good conscience let you go in there without you knowing-” he can't finish his sentence. I slam the door and run to the sidewalk across the street. His faint voice sighs out and he drives away. I walk along the sidewalk and am amazed at the open and cold air. No one is fighting behind me, no one is blocking the path in front of me. Actual alleyways separate the buildings from each other, ones where I could open my arms and not smack my hands into the walls. Each house seems to live in a certain solitude that I would never know back home. I keep walking and with each step I can feel my destiny getting closer. I wonder what women like this smell like, I wonder what they sound like. A warm feeling enters my stomach. 

I walk along the sidewalk and approach Euphorika. The sign flashes at me like it's talking to me, as if it's telling me to run inside. As I get closer I see…a woman! I freeze. A cold sweat covers my hands and I begin to feel nauseous. I can't move. She smokes a cigarette as she continues leaning on the wall with her hands behind her head. Her eyes are closed but she quickly notices my presence through her peripheral vision. She opens one eye and sighs out. She lets the small cigarette drop out of her mouth and she stomps on it as it hits the pavement. She begins to walk towards me, she actually is walking towards me! My feet are glued to the floor. My stomach starts to ache, why is it aching?! 

“I haven't seen you around here before, handsome, are you in the market for a Mate?” she asks as she stands directly in front of me. I want to scream with delight! Is it that easy? I'm handsome?! If she thinks that of me, does that mean we're in love? She stares at me directly with winged eyes, her head slightly tilted. Her red, plump lips are pursed waiting for my answer. Her hands sit in her jacket pockets and she stands slightly leaning on her right leg. As she breathes the air is colored white by her breath. Her nose is a light pink color, her cheeks slightly flushed. My eyes follow her body from her feet to the top of her head. My goodness, she's perfect. I want to run away with her. I've never seen anything so magnificent, so magical, so feminine. She's just like the woman on the box. I want to speak and sing her praises but I can't. “Are you ok, sir?” She stands there for a moment, looks around once or twice and gets impatient. “Look, I don't have all night, do you want a Mate or not?” “I love you!” I yell. My voice echoes through the streets a few times before fading away. An awkward silence follows suit. “Um, alright. I uh, I guess I'll take that as a yes. Just come with me.” Is this a relationship? I wonder if I should tell her what David did in the movie?

She grabs me by the arm. She's actually touching me. My mouth becomes pasty and it becomes hard for me to swallow. We walk through some heavy doors and she pulls me into Euphorika. I'm hit with a purple kind of smell that lingers like someone just put on a musky cologne. Dim, magenta lights are on the ceiling, making the room almost look like we're at a miniature golfing place. Two hallways are on either side of the front desk. A screen behind him flashes sentences that are written in a slogan-like fashion. “Mates.” “Anywhere, anytime.” “Completely anonymous.” “EUPHORIKA.” The person behind the desk smiles at me and nods his head at my wife. We head down the long hallway on the left. Black doors on either side of the hall continue on for what seems like forever. Snakeskin covers the walls and the floor is a black marble. The entire hall is illuminated by the sickly, UV looking lights that follow along the top of the ceiling. She remains silent. I can't believe the first day here I found someone to love me, and I found someone to love. We finally reach an unoccupied room. She knocks twice, realizing it's emptiness. She then goes in for a moment. She moves things around and cleans the wooden bench inside. The room is around the size of a bathroom stall and the seat goes around its entire diameter like a sauna. After another sigh out, she tells me to go sit inside, motioning her hand towards the door.