---Warning: Brief mention of suicide in the end of the chapter when the Nokken appears, if you feel like you don't want to read it, that is completely okay, your mental health is important and I as the author would rather you as a reader would enjoy the chapter and will give a bit of context at the beginning so no one would feel blindsided by later information and will add a mark -^^^--^^^- so you know when to stop reading if the topic makes you uncomfortable.---

---National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Dial 1800-273-8255 or visit the website at http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org ---

I was able to leave after another check by the physician, Jules.

Vervain walked with me out where I was met by Gretchen, Alex, and a very pissed off Nokken in horse form. I heard muttered talk and saw that Vervain was eyeing the Nokken with disdain, did they have history together? It seemed like it. My box of pastels was mostly safe except for a corner where there was a dent and some had definitely broken from the tumble but still useable, a guard handing it off to Alex who placed it in the cart on a box.

There was a loud whinny from the Nokken, head bowing down as he eyed me down. Said Fae knocked into me with a wall of water, sending me into the ground and began sniffing all over me, letting out rumbling neighs that were barely heard over Vervain's protesting shouts in an unknown language. Vervain looked immensely pissed off as he gripped the front of the Nokken’s chest, slowly shoving them back with one arm, veins bulging against his skin while Gretchen was held back by Alex, fear in her wide blue eyes. The Nokken huffed and let out a very angry sounding whinny before shifting back into their humanoid form, raised welts from claws marking where Vervain had held them back.

“You idiot!” Vervain helped me up to a sitting position, brushing my shoulders of dirt and mindful of his talons. I felt the tell-tale flare of magic, ozone heavy on my tongue with a hint of cold. The air seemed chilly, I could see my breath fogging in the air. “Be careful of who’s presence you’re in.” A little bit more and I felt it was coming from him. The Nokken scoffed, tossing back their hair.

“Says the failure.” My brows furrowed and I found myself touching Vervain, feeling a deep growl vibrate in his chest, he had fangs-holy shit he had fangs-brain stop! He pulled me tighter against him, was he feeling overwhelmed already? I looked at his hand, seeing the talons still unsheathed. He wasn't a normal elf, was he? “I, did not, fail.” My lips thinned, noting the hint of sadness that made his voice slightly crack.

“Getting help from the other gods doesn’t count.” I turned, scooping a handful of dirt-thankful it was still wet enough to form a sort of lumpy attempt at dirtball and threw it at the Nokken. The smack drew their attention to me and I felt my instincts screaming to run but stood my ground.

“I would like to go home, so enough with the barbs.” Gretchen translated. There was a neigh-like snort from them and the Nokken turned on their heel, walking off into the woods nearby. I turned to face towards Vervain, locking eyes. He inhaled, brushing some of his hair back and offered a sheepish smile. The talons were gone now, leaving behind trimmed nails.

“Are you all right?” I asked, his smile dropped, a look of shock on his face. He blinked slowly before quickly affixing a soft smile on his face.

“I’m, I’m fine, I will escort you all back.” He stood to his full height and ushered me to join Gretchen. She asked me what had happened and I informed her, Vervain offering the exact details of how he felt a sting of dark magic and went to go investigate it, finding me choking to death.

“I, appreciate you saving my friend, your lordship.” Gretchen squeezed my shoulder. He nodded, looking regal in the night air.

“I’ll stay in town for the night,” Alex interjected gently, a little glum. “I’ll see you soon, Gingersnaps.” They pressed a kiss to Gretchen’s cheek and ruffled the top of my head before heading off. I heard the snort of a horse and turned to see a large horse-Clydesdale was the closest thought I had-with large hooves and colored chestnut. I blinked and noticed the swirl of colors around him. Vervain took the reins from the stable hand and easily settled into the saddle. He noticed my eyes flicking to the large beast. He held out his hand to me as he guided the horse close.

“Care to ride with me?” I looked at Gretchen, who shrugged and gave a grin, conveniently yanking a box from the back to sit beside her where I would have sat. I squinted my eyes in confusion before looking back at Vervain and nodded, taking his hand. He leaned over, arm coming around my back to lift me up and settle over his legs in a sort of side saddle.

“Now you really look like a princess.” Gretchen laughed as she settled in the cart. Boyd settled near her while the raven settled on the lamppost attached to the cart. I looked away from her as we set off. She and Vervain had a light conversation, it was making me feel drowsy being surrounded by their voices and the comfort after the stressful afternoon. Vervain was also really warm, the scent of him familiar. I was woken by voices and looked to see the guardsmen from earlier, with the captain, Rogen I believe his name was and an older, stouter man with greying hair and the multi-pointed star engraved on a metal chest-plate. I found myself gripping Vervain's shirt tightly. Something was sending my stomach to the underworld with the sight of the bearded man.

“I am merely escorting these girls home, the Wild Hunt begins soon and I don’t want harm to come to them from overzealous beings looking for easy prey.” There was a coolness to Vervain's voice. Rogen caught my eye and grinned.

“Morning princess.” I frowned. “I’m not a princess.” Was this going to be a continuing argument?

“You look like one, so I’m gonna call you one regardless.” I exhaled sharply, feeling like a dragon with smoke billowing from their mouth. I did taste a bit of smoke though. Does this world have dragons? That would be cool. Vervain settled an arm on my thigh, rooting me to the spot when I jumped from my sensitive nerves. He gave a look before resetting his arm lower towards my knee.

“Again, I would like to escort them home, please let us through.” Rogen took a step back, the strange older man grumbled something before snapping his fingers and barking an order to open the gate.

It swung open, the empty patch of grass filled plain was well lit by the light of the almost full moon. Everything a sharp contrast of white-gold hues and deep, black ink colored shade, I heard the faint hoot of an owl in the distance. “Be safe, no needing some Fae to kidnap you and us coming to rescue you.” I peered around Vervain to glare at the snickering guardsmen, at least Rogen stopped when he saw my face.

“Ignore them, let them waste time with empty words.” Vervain stated. “Still, it’s not right.” He gave a cheeky grin. “They’re just regular humans, their words have little to no power over beings such as me, unlike you or your friend.” He added the last part quickly.

“You still have feelings,” I said, “and a brain that produces thoughts.” I added, my thoughts started to scramble-my hands wringing to sort them, I started picking my nails again when he covered my hands with one of his, I noticed he was holding the reins like how I had been taught, thumb over the loop and pinky loose.

“And?”

“What I mean-you’re a living being, regardless of who or what you are, you don’t deserve to be treated that way.” I felt his chest expand as he took a breath then the pointed end of his chin digging into my scalp. “Get some rest Rán.” He added after a few minutes of just the leaves rustling and occasional call of a nocturnal animal. His voice was soothing, lulling me into a sense of peace.

 ***

Home greeted us soon, I settled into bed, feeling the familiar aches and pains of riding. A part I did not miss, especially after riding the one horse and needing to waddle everywhere for a bit. Boyd settled near my feet, laying like the panther he believes himself to be, and staring out the window. I dreamed of vague things, an endless corridor as something hunted me, never running as I didn’t want to give it the attention desperately craved. I forced myself not to look behind as I walked, hoping for an exit.

I was instead awakened by Boyd's demand for outside. The edges of the dream flickering from my mind as I sat up, rubbing my head to ease the ache. I dressed, eating a bowl of porridge before heading out with a hip basket and my bag. I paused in my usual trek to the waterfall, the Nokken probably wouldn’t want to speak to me right now. My feet turned towards a new sect of woods, perhaps I should just go gather for the day.

I stumbled upon strawberries, noting the mix of yellow and whitish-pink blossoms. I tasted one near a patch of yellow blossoms, finding it to be flavorless and watery-a mock strawberry while the ones near the white blooms were wild, they were still pale green with the barest hint of red. I grinned, flipping through the journal on botany I had gotten. There was a page and a half detailing the ways mock strawberries are used in medicine. I spent a good hour, taking a little bit from each patch I found until I found enough to start making tinctures and poultices. When I was sastified, I stood and stretched out my limbs. A snap of a twig had me turning and reaching for the knife I was just using.

It was the Nokken.

I swallowed, feeling nervous under his gaze.

“You nearly missed our lesson, it’s bad you missed yesterday’s but a second day?” I flinched.

“I, thought you didn’t want to see me.”

“The Fae do not break promises.” I paled, realizing I had broken a rule. My heart started thudding, breath quickening. Claws gripped my chin, forcing me to look into hazel green eyes, weren’t they gold before?

“The day is not yet over. Calm down that meaty organ of yours and follow me.” I did, tapping him on the shoulder after I remembered the conversation between him and Vervain.

^^^-Mentions of suicide-^^^

“Why did you say that the, Highkin had failed?” He glanced back at me. “He failed to protect my sister and she died.” I thought back to the lore surrounding the species, were there female Nokken? I found myself wishing I paid more attention to my one friend and her ramblings. I think so. “How did she die?”

“She committed suicide.” I stopped walking, feeling a cold shudder pass over me. Death wasn’t the hardest thing for me, the subject of suicide wasn’t as taboo to me as it was to most people but to others, losing someone they cared about... “I’m sorry to hear that.” I wrote out on the back of his hand.

“He didn’t deserve her anyway.” He seemed to not truly care but there was a tell, a tenseness to his shoulders that had me studying his form. I hurried after him, thinking about what he had said. So, Vervain and the Nokken’s sister were lovers then, but why did she commit suicide?