A while later, he went down to the living room to find what he needed and saw her still face down on the table. Looking at her exhausted figure, he naturally felt a little pity and a little angry without understanding the reason. Why is this woman so stubborn? She should have gone to her room to rest for a long time ago. How long does she want to be here and torture her body? Does she think she is healthy?

“What’s wrong with you? Why don’t you go to your room to rest but still sit here?”

Tonight he broke the rules a little bit, seemed to care about her too much. His voice rang out suddenly, making her panic, her shoulders trembled slightly. She raised her head to look at him and said incoherently, “I’m okay. If you don’t want to sign the divorce petition now, I agree.”

She paused for a moment then continued, “However, tomorrow I will move out of here. For now, we will separate first to avoid awkwardness for both of us.’

Hearing that, he seemed to lose his composure, “Why are you moving? Your home is here.”

She smiled sadly, “My home? Are you sure? I have no merit in this house. It’s yours. I still don’t have enough self-respect to take things that are not belonging to me.”

“But you are…”

He really wanted to say that she was his wife but he stopped himself. The word ‘wife’ is too ironic. It’s because he abandoned her. He has not considered her his wife for a long time, so he indulged himself in another illicit relationship. What right does he have to call her his wife now?

She still keeps a smile on her lips, but thoughtful people will recognize the pain hidden deep in this gentle smile. She understands his personality and may not be calculating with her, but his mother, a bitter woman, always sees her as inferior to her son. For someone who values money like her, if she even had a little dream about this house, she wouldn’t leave her alone. After many years as a daughter-in-law, she deeply understood this unique mother-in-law.

“Anyway, this place doesn’t belong to me. You will have your own family, So I will take the time to move out.”

“Don’t be so stubborn. If you leave and our daughter suddenly calls, if she asks me, what should I say?” He still does not understand why he stubbornly doesn’t want her to move out.

“Then she will understand. I will explain to her.” She still maintains her intention.

He also maintains his stance, “I still say no. I hope you will think again. Trying for a few more months is difficult for you?”

He did not realize that he was still using patriarchy to coerce her. He is so unreasonable that he still thinks he has the rights to decide everything. He said and walked quickly, not giving her a chance to discuss further. She felt more helpless and bored than ever. But she doesn’t like argument, so lazy to argue with him. Maybe according to his wishes, she’ll try for a few more months.

But she’s still not very confident in her own decision. Previously, she tried to stay here because of her little daughter. She was not forced to live under the same roof with him because there’s the daughter beside. Now the daughter left, how will she get through this stage? How to live in the same atmosphere as him?

Just thinking about being with him under the same roof made her feel tired. Strength suddenly seemed to be drained. She didn’t know to use what attitude to treat him. Up until now, they have been behaving each other as strangers, perhaps they should maintain this status. However, she will try to reduce her sense of existence even more.

She’s been able to endure it for ten years, and now a few more months she might probably be able to get through it. Time will pass very quickly, she tries to force herself to think as optimistically as possible. Everything will be fine, God will not cut anyone off, and she will have a normal life soon, no one will be able to make her suffer or hurt anymore.

***

After teaching the last lesson, if it were before, Lam would have rushed home and prepared food for her daughter. If Van takes one session, she goes to school to pick her up and they both will have lunch together. If the little girl studies all day, Lam also doesn’t have to worry when going to English Center, because Van can still have the food she prepared earlier.

Now Van is not with her, she wonders whether she should go home and prepare lunch for herself or not? Having lunch alone is really very lonely. After considering long enough, the nature of woman who always cares for the family and does not like to eat out forced her to go home and prepare for the lunch.

Come back home and open the door of the quiet house, her heart was sadder than ever. Remember that day, she picked Van up after school, the little girl would have shared her about all schoolmates, and the things she has experienced during class. Looking at the little girl chirping in her ear made all her worries and fatigue fly away with the wind. These beautiful memories still seem to be present in her mind, just like they happened yesterday.

She opened the refrigerator to get food and prepared to cook. After struggling for a while, she finished cooking for both lunch and dinner. Her stomach was empty now, she could have enjoyed a delicious lunch, but when she put the food on the table, she no longer felt hungry. Sitting alone, she tried to swallow half a small bowl of rice, then quietly cleaned up and went to her room.

She wants to lie down and rests for a while, but her mind keeps thinking about her daughter. She’s probably sleeping at this time, because it’s at night at where she’s living. Lam couldn’t take a nap, she went to her daughter’s room and cleaned one thing after another. She arranged the daughter’s clothes. Looking at her old photos hanging on the wall, she pulled out all old albums to look at them, reminding her about all beautiful memories between mother and daughter.

In these old photos, there are many photos of a family of three together. He in every photo at that time showed a happy smile. There are pictures where his arm wrapping around her shoulder and holding her tightly, showing sovereignty and a happy expression on his face. But now these memories are too distant.

Cleaning out the daughter’s old bookshelf, she happened to see a drawing of a heart with below the words the daughter asking the mom if she loves her again. The handwriting is soft and immature, and next to it is the mother’s affirming words, “I love you very much.”

This heart drawing is the moment Van disobeyed, she still remembers how angry she was. She asked Van to study many times but she still refused to cooperate. So angry, she yelled at Van and declared that she wouldn’t care about her anymore. After a while, Van timidly went to her room to apologize and gave the note while looking at mom with fear.

At that moment, her heart softened, her arms hugged her daughter, her chin rested on the top of the daughter’s head, her eyes were wet, and she said lovingly, “I will always love you, even if you are not good, even if you do something wrong, then you will always be my precious pearl.”

There was also a time when Van was very naughty. She told Van to be careful with the ink pot, after pumping it, then had to close the lid immediately, but Van ignored. As a result, the ink filled the table and even flowed onto the floor. She was extremely angry with the daughter, but saw her tears rolling down her cheeks because of being so scared, she couldn’t bear to punish her, she just quietly went to clean up the indelible ink stains.

Van was an affectionate daughter. Seeing her mother struggling to find a way to remove the ink stains, she was also there to help, but the more she helped, the more the ink stains spread. As a result, the mother had to stop her, “Baby, let me do it. Go to your desk and study.”

And there are many small memories between the mother and the daughter. Remembering them makes her suddenly smile. The cold loneliness in her heart gradually warmed up. She sat in Van’s room, arranged this and that, then went over and lifts cover of the daughter’s piano. She couldn’t help but sit down and her hands began to glide over the keys. The feeling of missing her daughter came back.

She learned how to play the piano just because of her daughter. The daughter didn’t like the piano, no mater how much she persuaded, she still refused to learn. Piano helps people become softer, children relax after stressful lessons. But when Van was young, she was stubborn and disobedient. The mother had to entice her by studying with her, and as a result, the daughter gradually liked studying more. The piano teacher also said that Van was very talented and had a very good sense of sound. Luckily, she was persistent, otherwise Van would have overlooked her talent of playing the piano.

As for her, at first she learned the piano with intention of luring her daughter by learning with her, but then she also liked it without realizing it. She likes to sit alone, immersed in distant sadness. Play her favorite songs, relieve the loneliness in her soul. She is the type of person who is shy to communicate, almost timid. Her environment is pedantic, she is not competitive but it is difficult to make friends. To her colleagues and students, she is considered a gentle, nice and devoted teacher.

She gives people peace of mind and a sense of trust when making friends or working with her. Almost, she rarely actively communicates, every one will always recognize the image of a teacher with seemly sad face always, but when her colleagues ask for help, she always smiles and helps but clusters in some deep sadness that no one can touch.

When her marriage came to a standstill, she retreated even more into her own shell. Thanks to the melodious and deep melody of the piano, it partly relieved the knot in her heart. The piano is like a friend that allows her to let go of all the sadness in her heart.

Too much indulging in the soothing sounds, she didn’t realize it was already late. She’s about to have an English class at English center at 5:30 p.m. If she doesn’t go downstairs to prepare now, she’ll probably be late for the class. She also needs to eat something, because she will have to teach two shifts tonight. She rushes down to the kitchen and reheats food.

Just as she put the dishes and chopsticks on the table, she heard the sound of a car stopping in front of the house, then the door opened and he appeared. Honestly, she’s really shy to see him. She didn’t think he’d come home at this time. They rarely met before. Usually when he comes home, she has gone to the English center. If she had known that he would come home earlier, perhaps she would have stayed in the daughter’s room, waited for him to go into his own room before she came down.

Currently, she had just arranged the dining table, it was not natural for her to sit and eat alone. Even if she invited him, she was also not willing. She hoped he would go straight to his own room and not stop by the kitchen. But today he was not following his habits. Instead of going upstairs, he went to the kitchen, making her passive, and not knowing what to say. The food has already been ready, she is embarrassed to eat it or not.

“Are you ready for dinner?” He saw that she was shy, so he spoke to break the awkwardness between the two of them first.

“Yes!” Her voice was quietly, unwilling to communicate with him.

“What did you cook for the dinner?”

“It’s just caramelized pork ribs and some soup.”