It has officially been 4 months since I was born. I can fully understand the language they speak although that is probably just because of my mature subconscious. It was how I learned that I am actually a premature baby. Born only 7 months into my mother’s pregnancy due to some complications. My god’s doing, I must say. It was a tough start but somehow, I lived.  And I’m already exhausted. Through those times, I contemplated on my situation and cursed that forsaken god without a single day’s rest for putting me up with this role, surely there was something at least a bit better than this. One that isn’t hailed in poverty. I don’t mind being sickly, so long as I was rich because then I would be medicated. Now as I sit here with my freshly changed nappy, I contemplated even more. There’s no way I’m letting this unfortunate set up of a role stop me from plotting my revenge.

The question is:

How the hell am I supposed to save the world when my unfortunate death is within three chapters of meeting the protagonist?

The answer is simple. I will just have to survive my death and somehow change my role.

In this still toothless form, I could just feel myself laughing excitedly with this brilliant plan of mine. Though, admittedly this isn’t going to be as easy as a walk in the park. I looked around at my messy home. It’s certainly not a place fit to be raising a child in. There is trash all over the ground and it is so small that there is not even a bathroom and the only thing you can ever call a room is the curtain covering my parent’s bed . A small chest for all the clothes, an old bookshelf with mostly empty shelves and a few books, a small dusty table in the middle of the place that’s near my makeshift crib besides the window, the kitchen that is just by the one door we have at the entrance and  a food cabinet sitting by the corner. My father is just on his bed asleep and my mother prettying herself up in front of the mirror as she hums a  croaky lullaby for me. The moment my character was born, she was never cut out for a good life.

“I’ll get going now, just go to sleep when you get hungry alright?”, bid’s goodbye by the poor whore as she kissed me on my forehead and then went on her way out to work. Sigh. My mother seems to be the kind of a covetous ebullient fool and I guarantee it.

But I must not get side tracked, this is yet another important life for plotting revenge, the most important. I have done this plenty of times yet I am still very much motivated despite my defeats especially now, considering what is at stake. I’ve completely sold my soul to the 7^th god for this bet. This is the closest I had been directly played  since a few millions of my lifetime outside this direct spotlight being banished. And living while not being able to direct my vengeful plots against my gods was horrendous. In that punishment realm, I was paralyzed from hacking them because there was no definite connection between us.

But ‘It was a different world where the gods had no direct control over, couldn’t I have had any sort of freedom?’. Alas, NO. Sure it was a free world but I wasn’t.That human world was but a punishment assimilation for the gods who had lost and had to suffer their defeat. I was the vessel for their act. Where they have to play scenarios to win back equivalent to the amount they had lost in their bets. An assimilation of a narrative RPG where everything is given and no gods linked my soul.

 Devoid of any rules and divine governance, it had every kind of experience a human being can go through. Every. Experience. In my last life, the story was that I was a daughter of a criminal tycoon who went broke,a lot of people were after me and I did my best to survive with that, I couldn’t kill myself even if I wanted to because the world itself was in charge of that. Then the finale before I was summoned back was with me being chopped down to pieces. And yes, with my memory, I can still remember every bit of it.

To be called back in the theatre again is no special treatment, I am simply returned because there were no longer losers to be punished, they had all played their bargain and it’s the final play. But this is a privilege! Since the story is already set, I wouldn’t have to go through half of what I usually went through in my pasts. This is the most sane story I have ever encountered for the last few millions of my lifetimes which is even more the reason why I cannot afford to lose. I am not wasting this opportunity.

In order for me to save this story, I have to get close to the protagonist and give him the happy ending he deserves. Basically, saving the protagonist is  also saving this world and therefore my freedom. They play mini plays often but the main star play happens once in an eternity. It is by luck that the current main is a saner story. The rule is that this main is set like an otome game where every choice is already given by the system and that in their agreement will remain unchanged throughout until the ending. But considering that gods are the  ones playing it, there’s little room for sympathy in their choices. The mini plays aren’t set stories so you can imagine the hell they can put you through with whatever they can come up with.

As long as they play their roles, the story will flow as it should. Which is also another reason why I have to change my original role to not mess it up because the only thing that can be changed, is the ending and subplots which would then connect with the main plots. And the other reason being that only the protagonist can change the original  plots of the storyline through his fate choices. If I were to do it myself, they’d know that I am the reincarnate and my cover will be blown and I’d be severely punished, then I won’t be able to execute my plans anymore. Since I can’t interfere with that, I’ll just have to influence the protagonist for the change. That is…if he’s strong enough to chose it by himself without his god’s control.

Changing roles sounds easy enough, as long as you’re not the one going through it without any suspicion from those pesky gods. Luckily, my next character is a minor character and not one of the mains so she isn’t a good pick. When I tell you that they give the 7^th god the worst options, they do give him the worst options because,what the hell is this. The one time romance of the protagonist who'll die three chapters in as his character? They clearly don't want him to be part of the play.

Shit…

I have so much to do, it’s a headache. I need some gelidity, if  I could puff a cigarette right now, I would. But for now, I must focus on my survival.