On most days, aside from estimating the probabilities of my life for the next ten-to-twenty years, I spend my time alone. I can’t stay at home since it is scary there for this little self when I have abusive parents so I take naps under the shade of trees. I couldn’t make friends even if I wanted to because of my circumstances with this village. I finally learned why Lupa was ostracized as a kid despite having a pleasant personality, it was because she was believed to be a foreigner considering she and her father is the only one in the place with such dark colored hair. I won’t bother prying on Lupa’s saintess personality, being nice won’t get me anywhere here.
Being a child is the most deadening part of my lifetimes as I plot my revenges for each, living for childhood is a luxury I could not afford. Since this is another new life but my memories intact, I have this sensation that I have done and know all of those things yet still able to get the awkward feeling of first experiences. My understanding of the flow of events are still not distorted, I’ve made sure to write down every bit of the story as I could. I’m so busy planning the future that I worry less about the present so long as it doesn't benefit my role. Thinking alone is plenty exhausting and with this frail body of mine, I need a lot of resting rather than enjoying aerobic social activities as one child does.
I am already a crafted character for this verse, with such an unfortunate life and trying to survive with it, I must chose to act what is best for me and with minimal complications as much as possible.
Described as sickly pale but with undeniable beauty, her deep raven black hair that makes her look even more ghostly. Only the color of her orchid pink eyes and lovely personality is what makes her shine, as I stare into the river. I am indeed her reflection as I am now her, only, my personality isn’t one that is lovable. I’d be mistaken as a ghost as I am now. Lupa will be abused throughout her short miserable life. Every single one of them to no exception, from her parents, to the neighbors, even to the kids. But being her, as much as possible I am will not be taking such abuse as much as she endured in the story.
So I won’t get caught, I stay away from people and just roam around the forest searching for medicinal herbs or explore the beautiful scenery since I had nothing better to do yet. I cannot relate to children anyway so might as well enjoy my own kind of childhood. As for my meals, I’ve learned my ways here of stealing goods. My parents only go about their own lives, with my mother being the only who checks up on me. People say that I look so much like her except with black straight hair instead of her fiery red curls. The spitting image of my mother. My parents are sweet around each other but they mostly argue. My father is hopelessly depressed so liquor is his only saving grace. With me as Lupa, of course I’d be a very conscious child and not once have I seen him act any better towards me. Guess he badly wanted a boy and I’m a disappointment.
While laying on the meadow staring at the sky, wondering what ever the fuck my god may be up to, with nothing but the distant shrieks of the village children playing, the twittering of birds and the gentle breeze of the late afternoon that sways the leaves of the trees. Deep in my thoughts I wondered of how things would unfold when suddenly, I heard my mother’s voice softly calling out to me in the distance.
“Lupa”
I got up and turned to her.
She was standing a few distance away from me with her angelic forced smile as usual. I stared at her for a second. My mother is the most beautiful woman I’ve seen around here, none could compare to her beauty. Standing there still in her dirty dull gown, she looked like a beautifully oil painted canvas of one late summer afternoon. She is but a lowly whore yet her demeanour is the gentlest of nobles and graceful as princesses, while her voice is as sweet as cold mellow although surprisingly it doesn’t sound as good when she sings.
I found myself running to her when she spread her arms out for me and went for a hug. She cuddled with me for a bit as well while she released a soft laugh.
“Have you been playing by yourself again?”, she asked as she bent down to match my height and place her hand on my head, rubbing it.
But this whole afternoon was such a bliss making me drowsy, so all I could answer her with was a nod.
“I see”
From her hands gently patting on my head, it suddenly moved down to my ear as she pinched it hard. An unexpected twist to which I could not grasp the reasoning behind until she spoke.
“Have you been snitching on me to your father again? Didn’t I told you not to tell him where I was”, she pulled my ear up as she started walking. Right, I forgot to not tell him.
“You naughty brat, don’t do it again otherwise I’ll disown you”, she threatened in her soft voice and roughly let go of my ear before grabbing my hand to hold them. Since she has long nails, I’m pretty sure this warmth I feel dripping from my ear is blood.
“Also, do something about that hair, cut it short. You know your father hates seeing that”, she complained as we walked or rather, dragging me.
“But even if I cut it short, it won’t make a difference. I’m still a girl”
She stopped for a second and looked back down at me.
“Yes, we can’t do anything about that but at least don’t piss your father off so much, he’s already giving me a headache and you only add up to my stress. But the madame does pays us extra if we have a family to feed so I guess you are somewhat useful”, she blabbered as we walk and all I could do was stare up at her.
‘We barely even eat’
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