Judge Not

Up until now I didn’t know that my mom and Paul knew about Karl. They told me to come clean about who I was dating. I told them that I was dating someone from my school who was a football player and he had good grades. That wasn’t a lie. Then mom told me that when she and Paul picked me up at  the school last week, They were originally going to surprise me by taking me out to dinner after school, But they were met with a surprise themselves when, they saw me hugging and kissing a black boy. I told them that his name was Karl.

Hikari asked , “So how long have you been seeing this Karl?”

“For about 6 months now mom. I met him in biology class and we started working on a project. Then after a while we were hanging out a lot and then we started dating.”  Sonoko said happily.

“I hope it’s nothing serious because you won’t be seeing him anymore! You went behind my back and chose to date out of your race when you already know how I feel about that! Hikari said while very irritated.

“You can’t tell me who to date and who to love! You dated within your race and look where it got you pregnant at 16! And then he left your ass!” Sonoko said while very angry.

Before mom could catch herself, she slapped me so hard that she left a handprint on my face. I was filled with such rage that I grabbed my mom and pushed her up against the wall. Mom was stunned that I would put my hands on her. Paul stepped in and separated the two of us and sent me

 off to my room while he tried to console my mom.  I did not come out of my room that night. I didn’t eat dinner, nor did I come out of my room for any reason.

The next morning, I woke up early,  jumped in the shower and did my usual routine. I looked in the mirror; my face was still red from the slap yesterday. I applied more makeup than usual to cover it up, I then brushed my teeth and combed my hair. I didn’t care what mom said I was going to still see Karl. I will see him at school today, tell him what happened and devise a plan. He would know what to do. I finished getting dressed and decided to wear a pair of jeans and a turquoise blouse that had a scooped neckline. I added some turquoise dangling earrings. I  ran downstairs and saw that mom and Paul were sitting at the table eating breakfast. I ignored them, but mom asked if I wanted  breakfast. I mumbled “No” and let the door slam behind me.

I hated being dishonest with my mom, but I was seventeen, a grown woman almost and would be heading off to college. So, that was the “green light” to make my own decisions and choices.  I kept seeing Karl, but we were even more discreet. After the cold shoulder treatment with mom for about a week, I played the role of “obedient daughter”. 

I saw him at school, football games, and when I had to stay after for the drama and debate clubs. Mom and Paul were too busy with rich people stuff like golf, charity events, attending museums, and  random social gatherings to track my whereabouts.   I would see Karl every chance I could.  That’s the way it would have to be until we left for college. I thought about the reality of preparing for college, living on my own and getting a job.  It was all grown-up stuff now that I would be dealing with.  I thought to myself, what kind of a job would I get? The only thing I knew was academics and I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. Most people don’t start knowing how to work a job.  Those who work either had training, the skill, or the knowledge.  But I had faith that Karl and I would work it out and have a happy life.  Now, it was time for me to start planning my own life.  I could see Karl in the future because I really loved him.  I knew it deep down in my soul.  He was everything to me.  He was gentle, kind, handsome and intelligent and he adored me.  He treated me like a queen, and he was my king.

When I told Karl what had happened between me and my mom, he was furious that she put her hands on me.  He said that if she ever did that again, he would take care of it. 

Karl thought to himself that the Jenson’s were so judgmental.  What if someone judged Mrs. Jenson because she was an unwed mother at 16 years old and a mail order bride?  What if Mr. Jenson was judged because he used his wealth to buy love?  Ok, I get it.  Parents want their children to have the best things in life and exceed their greatest accomplishments and expectations.  But just because I grew up in a one parent household with my mom, didn’t make me any less of a person.  With all my accomplishments, why wasn’t that enough for Sonoko’s family? I was beginning to think it was because I was black.  Sonoko told me about another guy she used to date.  He was white and didn’t have nearly as much going for him as I did, her family easily accepted him.  After that incident, I never entertained the thought about going to Sonoko’s house, we hung out at my place instead from that moment.  I didn’t want to be anywhere I wasn’t welcomed.

Karl was glad that his mom had raised him differently. People were people unless they gave a reason for hate or dislike. Because hate is such a strong word and it pierces the soul.  Sonoko probably would not admit it, but it was people like her mom and Paul who incite people to rioting and mass shootings because of their bigotry and hatred.

Well, my mom was cool with Sonoko coming over to our house and she really liked her. Mom was just happy that I had a friend. I know that she knew that we were more than friends. But, given my lonely childhood and me having to try to “buy” friends, She was just glad to see me happy. One of my favorite foods was pizza and the other was hot dogs. When my mom was pregnant with me she said she used to crave those two things all the time. So, when Sonoko would come over mom would order my favorite. We would eat a New York style sausage, pepperoni ,and pineapple pizza with extra cheese and play video games after doing our homework.

Sometimes we would just sit and talk for hours laughing and cuddling. Most of the time it was just random stuff about our culture, life, or hope for the future. We would talk about how many babies we would have and if they would have almond shaped eyes and lips like her and melanin skin and textured hair like me.  I just know that we would make the prettiest babies.  One time when mom overheard us talking about babies, she said, “Y’all better not be talking about making  babies in here!”   She said, “Not under my roof! Go to college, finish, and make a good living before talking about making babies!” She was adamant about that. 

Sonoko was a regular at our house. Of course my mom didn’t mind having her over but she wanted to make sure that it was OK with her parents. I had to explain the situation to my mom about the Jenson’s. My mom told Sonoko that she still needs to respect her parent’s wishes while she's under their roof because that’s what she would have me do. As Karl’s mom Krystal went on to say, “We parents only want the best for our children and our children may not think it’s the best at the time. But we have to do what we feel is right. Even though I don’t agree with the way your mom and Paul do things I wouldn’t want to create more conflict between you and them. You are still free to come over because we really enjoy having you here ,but if your parents find out that you're here without their permission I won’t be able to allow you to come over anymore.

So anyway. How serious is your relationship with my Karl? Karl looked at  Sonoko and then Sonoko looked at Karl all goo-goo eyed. Then they looked back at Krystal. “We are very serious about each other” Karl said. “We want to spend the rest of our lives together” Sonoko said.

Krystal went on to say “You two only known each other for a few months. I know that you’re both mature for your ages, but a lifetime is a long time of commitment. You’ve got college, work,adventures, and meeting other people. You may say that now ,but people sometimes change and grow away from each other. So enjoy the moment and savor these moments of youth. Ask God to lead and guide you because he's always helped me in decision making. I’ve made some bad decisions in my life, but when I got closer to God that's what helped me to make good decisions and get on the right track. And I know you may not be religious, but I brought Karl up knowing God and what he chooses to do after that is up to him. I just know how trusting and believing in God has helped in my life. Yes, like I said, I made mistakes but overall, I think Karl and I live a great life.”