He invited her to a pub because it was cheaper than a restaurant. He didn't feel desperate enough to spend all his money on blind dates that usually didn't lead to anything serious, ending with just one meeting over a few beers and a bowl of free snacks to munch on between one faux pas and another.

He arrived early to down a few Heinekens before he would have to face a series of silly questions about his attitude towards marriage, kids, dogs, or cats, about his culinary preferences, and his zodiac sign. He disliked talking about himself, especially when someone had to judge him based on his answers to decide if he was a good candidate for a future lover. Unfortunately, he had never met a girl who would just stare at the TV hanging above his head, showing someone trying to kill someone else in the ring or sink a white pool ball, instead of asking him about his favorite romantic comedies.

From the crackling speaker above the bar, a terribly annoying mix of jazz and r'n'b was seeping out, trying to drown out the drunken babble of quite a crowd – mostly guys, a few lovey-dovey couples, and a drunken, frustrated woman sleeping on the bar, cursing someone in her sleep for ruining her life.

Looking around the dim and smoky dive, he thought it was the perfect setting for another unsuccessful date. He didn't even have the slightest illusion that something more than just hiccups, which he always had after beer, would come out of this meeting. Maybe it would be better if she didn't show up at all, sparing both of them from this whole charade. He had no idea why he kept playing these 'blind dates.' Perhaps he was most excited about the anticipation that the next candidate wouldn't be another disappointment. He was a terribly selfish jerk in all this, as he didn't care what girls thought and felt, who had some expectations of him and were simply disappointed.

And as he sat there, sipping another Heineken, he imagined the true ideal of femininity walking into the pub and standing in front of him – she entered.

A brunette with big, cheerful eyes. Lips painted with red lipstick and a headband or a scarf with a big bow on her head. Dressed in a black dress with big white polka dots, she looked quite pretty. She seemed to be dressed in a Pin-up girl style or something similar, but he didn't know much about all those fashion matters. Moreover, she appeared to be a confident and sassy gal.

On the other hand, he wore his favorite stretched-out t-shirt with the inscription: 'I don't like people as a species,' and heavily worn-out jeans. He looked like a penny next to a hundred-dollar bill next to her. He loved dressing inappropriately for the occasion and acting contrary to all conventions, so as not to show others that he cared about anything.

- Sorry, I have to go to the bathroom to take a dump, but I'll be right back - she shouted from the end of the room loud enough for all eyes to turn to her. Apparently, she recognized him in the crowd because he didn't even hasten to give her a sign that it was him.

- Order a pint of beer for me, please! - she added.

When she returned from the bathroom, she downed her beer in one gulp and only then greeted him.

- Gosh, how I love places like this! Do you know Bukowski? 'Barfly' is my favorite read!

- Is this the beginning of a test? - he asked provocatively, but she seemed not to catch the tone of his voice.

- Does this inscription - she pointed her finger at his t-shirt - describe your attitude towards the surrounding reality, or maybe only shirts with such an inscription were on sale at Walmart?

- I didn't buy it at Walmart; I stole it from some homeless guy in Central Park, and yes, I'm a misanthrope! I don't like people!

- And I can't stand this music any longer! Don't you think it's like someone gnawing on your ear, whom an elephant stepped on? I couldn't concentrate at all while taking a dump. - she called out to the bartender. - Hey, bartender, do something with this music, for God's sake!

- Anything for you, cutie! If you want, I can even sing and dance for you - the bartender replied, smiling broadly and showing his yellow teeth.

- Nooo, I probably couldn't bear it anymore. Put on something atmospheric so that we can have a good date!