Rain pours quietly, I look out the window enjoying the weather as is, humming while sweeping up the last of the petals that had fallen from the small tree we have inside and dumping them into the dirt of it.

I sit down next to my lover who is curled in a futon and a large pile of blankets and pillows, they're sleeping soundlessly and the sight of them in an excessive amount of blankets and mountains of pillows around them makes me die of cuteness on the inside. It's been a rough day for them and they came home drenched as if just thrown in the pool, I caress their cheek as I smile but stop midway when I feel something wet against the back of my knuckles were they crying?...

I pull my feet out of my slippers, sit on my knees next to them, and lightly touch their face to confirm. As I do a single tear slowly slides down their face and I pull my hand away moving to the other side next to them, it's their breathing slow and short that makes me feel more off so I slide the layers of ruffled-up blankets from around them till I can see them.

They're not wearing a shirt and their chest is bandaged up uncomfortably tight from the looks of it, I reach out and search for the end of it, unraveling it to ease away the pain so that they can breathe but I'm stopped by a cold and shivering hand that sends a chill up my spine "don't touch it..." they say and I look up only to see a face full of so much fear and sadness that it makes me grit my teeth in my closed mouth, their eyes puffy and red from crying for who knows how long "why?" I ask but they don't answer and instead turn their back to me "You're hurting yourself.." I proceed to loosen them to where they can breathe and put the excess bandages off to the side, they pull the futon over their face and curl into a ball.

 "You don't have to hide from me, it's ok.." I shift into a laying position and let myself sink into the large sea of blankets till I'm right next to them "Do you want to talk about it?" they slowly scoot away a little "It doesn't matter how many times we talk about it I still end up feeling this way..." they shiver as they let out a sigh, I move closer and wrap my arms around them and they relax in them slowly.

As the warmth of them against me makes me want to hold them closer "Then I'll keep doing it until you feel better about yourself, I'm not giving up on you so you shouldn't either" They turn and look at me, tears rolling down their face "that's the problem.. I'm tired of wasting your time because every time I go out in the world they tear me to shreds there's no point in making me feel better when all they do is torment me about how I look and keep telling me I'm disgusting or disfigured and maiming myself!!".

Their head falls against my chest as they begin weeping heavily and shaking, I pull them in closer and hug them tight and feel their cold hands gripping the back of my shirt as they push their face further into my chest and I can feel their damp tears soaking into my shirt, fighting back my tears I look over at the built-in garden in the living room against the wall with only a window behind it. We made it together when we first moved in.

 I watch hydrangeas and roses in it "You're not a waste of my time.." I sit up while still holding them in my arms "See those flowers over there?" they look up at the flowers for only a moment before letting their head drop down to my lap. "What about them.." mumbling lowly, they clasp my hand softly and I squeeze their hand gently with confidence in my answer once I speak. "They live in the sun and grow through the dirt and they have beautiful petals".

They start to sit up just barely as they lay their head against me once again "But they're just flowers.. what does that have to do with anything?" I hold their arms lightly and look at them, holding my gaze on them as speak again "They aren't though, they are part of life and this world just like us, like you for that matter".

I cup their face gently and place my forehead on theirs "You are a flower you can be delicate and beautiful in your unique way, like those hydrangeas and roses that we planted" completely different but still beautiful, and even so when in the garden together in such well lighting. It makes me think back to the first day we started to grow them and how different they were from each other, how different my lover was at the time compared to now and they've changed a lot, they've grown a lot.

"I'm proud of you, I'm proud of who you're becoming and how much time has passed as you grow into a new person, a new you that you're comfortable being and I love you. You've grown just as much as the flowers have you've been wounded just like the flowers have but you grew back stronger, you grew more petals you bloomed more just like the flowers, and when you can no longer grow and began to wilt I will be there to help you boom again. You are a flower" I kiss their forehead and lean back to look at them, tears in their eyes as I'm sure it's been hard for them when it comes to changing. 

When no one else would be so supportive or accepting of them, I bite the inside of my lip to hold back my tears again as I can't imagine half of the unbearable pain they've gone through for so long on their own and for no one to say such things to them before. It pains me to even try to imagine half of what they've been through let alone see them curled up alone and binding themselves to the point that it buries and makes their skin red as they can barely breathe, I hate to see them that way and I want nothing more but for them to feel comfortable in their own body as they go through this.

"Are you ok?" That may not be the best thing I should ask considering that they were crying a bit after I finished speaking. nodding their head they wipe away the tears on their face and hug me tightly which relieves me as I hug back "Want to take a nap now?" they nod their head and I fall back with them in my arms from still hugging.

We lay there until we start slowly drifting off to sleep, they fall asleep way before me but I can feel sleep taking over my body as I stir deep in my thoughts of how much more they can grow as a person, how much we can grow together wondering what the next chapter of our life will be as we keep going. My eyes flutter shut and my mind lingers on the last thought I have before falling asleep.