Taking over another person’s life is not as easy as most people think. Access to cellphones and computers help, but that shows the basics. People rarely leave a record of their likes, dislikes, hobbies, or personalities. Those types of things must be unearthed in other ways. With a quick look through Matt’s phone, briefcase, and office desk, I learned that he is a small-town boy who got a full ride to college through a sports scholarship but had no interest in pursuing his sports career further. Although, I guess Matt had to be somewhat smart on his own, if the MBA hanging in his office is anything to go by. From what I could tell he was successful and very rich, but most everything in his life surrounds his job. There are no close contacts, which is a good thing for me, but kind of sad for Matt. I thought I got lucky and came across one of his hobbies, there were all these messages about playing golf on Saturdays, but after reading more in depth I noticed that golf on Saturdays was mainly for business, since Thomas, one of his clients preferred the golf course over a meeting in the office. Matt was in the business of making money, he dabbled in stocks, bonds, financial assets like bitcoin, anything corporate based. Most of the contacts on his phone were business related and he must be good at what he does, his schedule was insanely busy. A couple things that I did find that I think are more about his personal likes, a gym membership logged for three nights a week, probably a way to unwind after long days at work and reoccurring drinks with Shiela; this next one is set up for this coming Friday.

“Sorry Matty, I will be canceling that.” I voiced to the empty room.

 I never liked keeping any of my hosts personal engagements and I didn’t think they would want me to. I mean I’m not them, I won’t have the same thoughts, reactions, or feelings that they would. Although, there is always a residual lingering of the hosts actual feelings, but I know when their feelings are present versus my own and I think Matt would rather experience his time with Shiela instead of someone who’s not interested. Shiela will also be happier to keep her drink date with Matt, not some stranger running around in his body. This is the best way to keep a subtle presence and not alert anyone to Matt’s change in behavior.

I gather up all I have learned about Matthew Sobin and start to create the perfect excuses for why he seems different, since no matter how much I figure out about their day-to-day life, work habits and interests, someone will always notice that they are acting different in some way. I expect this, how could I not, I am not him and he is not me. So, no matter how I try to blend, I will never be perfect at being him. For Matt I need to focus on his career, since that is the highest interaction, he has daily. From what I can tell, it will take a few days at least to get more acquainted with Matthew Sobin. I need to check if he has any vacation days and take that time off. I walk into the only part of the home that is fully furnished, Matt’s office and pull over his laptop, log into the HR system and review his vacation days. When I see how many vacations days Matt has accrued, I chuckle to myself, this guy does enjoy working.

“Hm, better not take too many days or that will look strange to people.” I state aloud.

I need a reason that Matt would take a few days off, there was nothing about family anywhere I looked. I don’t know if he has a mom, dad, siblings, so I can’t suddenly have a family death or emergency. Also, I need to know if he was working on anything that he most definitely would not take time off from unless he had no choice. That will determine the seriousness of the emergency, I am thinking Matt may need surgery for something average, something common and easy to fake. I wonder when the last time Matt saw a doctor and what type of doctor it was, where can I find that information.

While I start to plan Matt’s unexpected leave of absence, I ponder on why this time is different from others.  As I get recollections of these past lives, I don’t recall a time when I remembered moving from one to the other, or what I was doing right before the transfer happened. This time I remember my last moments as Haden, even if I don’t fully remember living as Haden. I clearly remember the city in flames and the mystical raven beauty who was trying to save the people there. I even knew that I had moved on to another body when I opened  my eyes as Matt. I had such a different experience, that gaining a new body was easier to handle this time, even though all I want is to wake up and feel whole in my own body, my own life just once. I would give anything to no longer be a lost stranger in this void that eats at me every day. I have to find myself and I have this feeling that that woman is the key and I have to travel through these lives to reach her. That is why I will continue to push myself to blend in as much as I can until I meet the solid form of that mysterious goddess. I will live as Matt now and whoever comes next quietly and if I will be able to remember more, I will start to track my interactions and any events that seem significant to getting closer to her.

I grab something to eat from a well-stocked fridge and pick up the briefcase from the floor. I need to see what Matt was currently working on and how he does his job, so I can decently fake my way through his responsibilities and communications with clients. Of course, if I knew how many clients Matt was handling at one time or how versatile each personality is, I would have put in for a longer vacation and made up some excuse to quiet those who would be questioning in confusion. Not only does he have all these established clients, but he caters to all of them too. There is Professor Lee who mostly gets advice on stock and trade, a lady named Stella who does some kind of acting and uses Matt as a financial adviser, and what’s this name Kader, why does it sound familiar, did Haden know or work with a Kadar? There is a significant meaning to this name. This is not a lingering feeling from Matt, no, this remembrance is from me, I’m sure of it. I felt a strong recognition just from reading this name on these papers. What is Matt doing for this Kader? Was it a finance adviser, no he is handling some investments for the Kader account, but the amounts and types of accounts were interesting, I think I will add this to my tracking log I’m starting. Matt was smart with his client’s privacy though, he only labeled an account by one name and removed all others, so I’m not sure if Kader is a last name, first name or nickname. Still, it’s a start to not figuring out who Matt is, but who I am and maybe even what happened to my body.

I pull out a notebook and start jotting down any moment that has an impact. I write down my last flashes as Haden, and any memories I can pull up about living his life. I add both the events and feelings of disconnecting from a physical body and going to the city on fire. I log the differences in my appearances that I can recall, and the way I felt when I saw that gorgeous, majestic woman. The familiarity I had while near her, how powerful she appeared to be and how it looked like she was healing people with what could only be called magic. I log everything about the city from how it looked, all the parts that were on fire and how the people in the city responded to the flames engulfing their homes, how they reacted to one another, and most of all how they responded to her presence. I log how only she could see me, no one else could, how it felt when she was violently yanked back and after meeting her, I was not as anxious and was able to accept the return, calmly embracing that choice without feeling sick. I add what I learned about Matt and the name Kader that had a strong presence in this hidden mystery I am trying to decipher. Every split second of important detail may or may not have an effect on my existence. After a long day I lay down in those soft red sheets and as I drift away, my last thought is of those entrancing green eyes, and I hope I will find her in that place again tonight.