Kalina blinks and tries to rise, but when she realizes she can’t move, she laughs with an insidious gleam in her eyes, like a spider salivating over the fly caught in its web. I can’t tell if I’m the one in control or if it was always her and I just obediently fell into another trap. She settles and lays back down, placing one leg over the other. I step back away from the bed and sit in the chair.

“I’m surprised Eset! I would never believe you to do something like this.” She grins.

I’m taken aback by her greeting, how would she know what I’m capable of, she acts like she knows me. Is she really my sister, why do I not remember having a sister? Does that mean she’s a goddess like me, Nephthys was the sister of Isis from what I read, but her life was not pleasant, as a goddess she is not revered or even loved. Her marriage is unhappy. Could this woman in front of me really be that same goddess?

“You speak about me, like you know me. I wasn’t aware we were that close, so, who are you?” I asked.

She lays her head back and emits a loud chuckle. It takes me by surprise for a minute. When she’s done composing herself, she watches me with a patronizing grin. My palms feel wet and the urge to leave the room comes over me. I know she was thinking about what I just asked, and I am waiting for the truth, but I was not prepared to hear the answer.

“Eset!” Kalina states. “You have never been one to act dumb, so why now? You know who I am, you’ve figured that much out by now!”

I don’t know how or what to respond, it won’t matter what I say. I still want to hear it. I know Asten told me this, but there was more. She can give me answers that even Asten couldn’t provide. Kalina is my one chance for learning more about me.

“Kalina, I’m not acting dumb,” I explain. “I’m trying not to assume, although I heard Seth call you sister. I still need to know who you are?” I hope she will see my frustration and give me what I am asking her for. I may need to be more forceful if she continues to refuse. I wonder if the incantations I use when healing people can be used here for other reasons. As I sit there thinking about what I can do to make her talk, I hear the audible low sigh and I know she’s finally ready to take me seriously.

“Fine, you win. Eset, just like you always do!” she exclaimed in exasperation.

I could feel her discomfort and for a moment I felt sorry for her, this woman who I thought I had no connection with was pained and bothered by my existence more than I ever was by hers I just didn’t see it. This woman who acted so tough, who always seemed so put together was miserable. It was a revelation and I felt deep within it would not be the last one as our conversation continued.

With a quiet inhale she spoke the words I knew deep down would be said.

“Kalina is one of my names, but most would recognize me as the goddess Nephthys. I am your sister Eset or should I say, Isis.” Kalina stated.

“Ok, if you are my sister and I am Isis, who is Seth?” I asked. “Why are we here? Why do I not remember who I am? I need to know!” I pleaded.

My desperation was showing, but I didn’t care, I just needed answers. I needed to know what was really happening. I was not sure how much could be trusted though, so I started with simple questions. Although if simple why could no one else answer these questions?

“Wow!” Kalina laughed. “Seth really screwed you up, didn’t he Eset.” She stated. “Ok, so let me answer the easiest question first. If you are the goddess, Isis, and I am your sister Nephthys. What would that make Seth Hmm?” She looked at me expectantly, but I did not want to guess.

“Seriously!” She cackles. “Did you not do any research after finding out you may be an Egyptian god?” she questions. “Seth is my husband obviously.” she laughs.

I stop, Seth said that too, what does this mean? Since I don’t remember a wedding, is it true that I was never married to Seth?

“Your husband,” I shout in surprise. “Why does he think he’s, my husband than?” I implore.

The loud boom as she wails in laughter was normal by now. Of course, she laughs, she has found nothing but amusement in this whole thing.

“Oh, Eset, poor dumb Eset. He knows he’s not your husband, he just hates our brother and has always coveted everything our brother has, especially his wife!” she laughs wickedly.

I had more questions. I need to make my point clear. Seth would return soon, and I needed to be gone by then.

“Ok, so I am not married to Seth who is our brother and another god. Do I have that right? Kalina, do you know why I don’t remember anything?” I asked again.

“Yes, I do.” she answered vaguely.

I waited for her to explain, but she stays quiet, and I could feel the urge to explode overtaking me. I don’t understand why she keeps dragging things on, but now I know that she is definitely Seth’s wife, their personalities are too similar. I finally relent as the silence starts driving me insane.

“Kalina!” I yell! “Can you tell me why then?” I question in frustration.

Another insidious grin, the games are getting tiring. I give her a serious look, telling her that I’m not in the mood and had no issue with resorting to force for an answer if she kept this up.

“Gah! You’re no fun!” Kalina replied. “I was going to tell you, just relax. We all have a special stone, something we keep with us. Seth and I remember everything because of that stone, but if anyone loses theirs, they will forget everything about their past lives.” She explained.

“A stone what kind of stone?” I ask.

“I don’t know, it could be anything, but normally it gets made into some type of jewelry.”

Instantly I know what she is talking about. My amethyst amulet has meant so much to me since finding it and has been more helpful in settling my mind and heart than anything else. I finally have answers, but I wonder what stone or jewel Seth keeps, Asten I was sure it was his armband, he has had that thing forever and never takes it off. I would keep a closer eye on Seth moving forward, if it's as special and powerful as my amulet then he had to be wearing it. Kalina had cleared up so many things for me, but I knew I needed to ask her one more thing. I hope she has the answer.

“Kalina, I shot myself not long ago, but as you can see, I am still here,” I state honestly.

She looks at me in surprise, I guess she never thought I could attempt to end my life. I watch her reaction and quietly laugh.

 “Do you know why I can’t die?” I probe.

She turns her head so fast I worry it might fall off. She stares at me in disbelief, so I give her time to speak.

“Seriously, you shot yourself! Are things that bad?” She entreats.

Before I can answer she stops me.

“No, don’t worry, that was a stupid question. I’m just shocked. Eset, what do you know about Isis?” Kalina questions.

I don’t understand why she is asking what I do or do not know about the goddess Isis, but when I think, it leads me to think maybe the answer has always been in the goddess herself, but in my research did I miss something?

“I know she was one of the first sorceresses and a healer. She was married to our brother Osiris in the womb and gave him new life after his body was split and scattered around the world. Can I not die because of that or because I’m a goddess, are we immortal?” I ask skeptically.

Kalina laughs again and wipes tears from her eyes. Really it was that funny I don’t understand, what am I missing?

“Eset, I don’t even know what to say, but I get it you have no clue who you are. I will try to stop finding this predicament so funny, but I can’t promise anything. Anyway, Isis is the goddess of life! Not only does she heal the sick, but she can revive the dead if they prove worthy. She can also end life for those who are deserving. It would be immoral for a goddess who can give and take away life to be able to end her own.” she explains condescendingly.

I stand astounded I would not have known this at the time, but now I feel so naïve. Why didn’t I realize who I am and what I can do? I the goddess of life trying to end mine. Now I understand why when I shot myself, I ended up somewhere to heal others. Although I should have known this it was yet another revelation that I was waiting to be solved.

“That doesn’t mean you would not find yourself in the underworld if you tried,” Kalina states. “Still without the stone, you will not be able to enter the underworld, anyway. So, it’s possible you would end up in limbo.” Kalina describes.

“What’s limbo?” I question.

She looks at me, her expression filled with doubt, and I worry she plans not to tell me anything more.

“Are you for real, seriously Eset?” She responds with derision dripping from her voice.

I’m afraid to answer, but I need the information more than to save any pride.

“I’m not trying to deceive you, Kalina. I am just trying to understand what I don’t know.” I calmly explain.

She exhales with a broken sigh. “Eset, limbo is where the dead go when they can’t get to the underworld, it’s the world between this world and the underworld. And it is where Isis goes to heal the sick, dead, and broken. It is literally your favorite place.” She states in exasperation.

Limbo, I have been traveling to limbo this whole time, but it always looks different. I can’t go to the underworld because I didn’t have my stone, but I do now. The underworld and limbo both sound like something I care greatly about and visit often. These worlds are precious to me.

“Oh my god, or goddess.” I giggle in excitement. “I have been going there, but it always has a different appearance, so I was not sure where I was.”

I could tell she found me irritating. Did it have to with how excited I was to have answers or was it that I am not fitting the description she gives about Isis?

“Yes, Eset, you would go there all the time and it looks different because you are seeing what the people who call you there see.” She explains with a yawn.

This was amazing, I had answers and understanding I had been lacking. I was so happy there was only one question left, but I think I knew the answer.

“Kalina, where is my husband, where is Osiris?” I ask inquisitively.

She smiles mischievously at me and states.

“My guess, Eset, is that Osiris is hiding somewhere in limbo, trying to find his way back to the underworld.” she says. “Don’t worry though, he is known for finding his way back to you, he will return if he hasn’t already, it is destiny.” She states wistfully.

I felt ecstatic, there was so much I had been missing, but knowing I could ask someone close to it all meant the world to me. I stood up ready to leave. I reached over and laid the key close to her.

“Thank you, sister, for answering my questions and giving me clarity. If you ever need help, let me know and I will return the favor.” I state.

I smile sincerely at her, and she looks at me like she’s seeing a stranger. I walk out of the room to the sound of her laughter. For someone who is trapped in a room by their husband, she sure does laugh a lot, I take out my phone to search for information about the goddess Nephthys.