Luan watched as Finn’s fist tightened around the dark sheets, sharp teeth grinding, and felt his heart cinch brutally in time. 

“I don’t want to be like my father,” Finn admitted in a soft, hushed voice that bordered on tears, prompting Luan forward, brows bent and hands reaching. “I want to be a better man, better alpha, than he has ever been. I resent the man for so much, and I barely even know him. I can’t imagine how my mother feels. Honestly…I don’t understand why she’s still there, why their bond hasn’t dissolved itself. Does her body just lack self-preservation? Shouldn’t instinct have stepped in by now in order to protect her? She tries so hard. I promise you, Luan, she’s doing her best. And she deserves so, so much better than my bastard father.” 

“Finn,” Luan whispered as his hands filled with the curve of his mate’s jaw, those emerald eyes searching the roiling earth-and-honey miasma of Finn’s gaze as he pressed closer. “You’re nothing like-”

“Anyway,” Finn said brightly, suddenly, a forced smile on his lips that startled Luan’s fingers from his skin, astonished by the abrupt change in his attitude, mouth floundering. However, as if to soothe him, Finn swept up his hands, pressing soft kisses to the pads of Luan’s fingers as he began to speak once more. “Both Siobhán and I became doctors because of my mother. Sometimes I believe my cousin may have as well, he adores her so much. My father thinks it’s because of him, to follow in his footsteps, but that can’t be further from the truth. Not that he’d listen even if we tried to tell him that. We wanted to help omegas like my mother, to make a difference, not become the very thing that broke her in the first place. Honestly, though,” Finn paused, blond brows bending slightly as he bit his lip, as if hesitating, as if fumbling over the taste of unfamiliar words upon his tongue. “Honestly, it doesn't feel as though I'm doing anything. It feels as though I’m barely breaking the water’s surface, let alone making waves of difference. When I first started, a starry-eyed medical student, I had so much belief in this world, in my own abilities to make a change, but…I'm not so sure now. There are so many omegas that come into my care that are injured and mutilated and so obviously being abused, but there's nothing I can do aside from patch them up, and give them information on support systems, on how to get out of the abuse, as if that’ll even do anything.” 

Finn paused as he laughed mirthlessly, darkly, his flickering gaze rolling up towards the ceiling as he gave Luan’s fingers a gentle squeeze, though whether it was to soothe the omega, or himself, he wasn’t quite sure. 

“Nothing I can do but watch as the people abusing them thank me for my help, and take them back with a smile. Only for the cycle to repeat. I report the incident, report what I saw, the wounds and their severity, and I'm told there's nothing that can be done for a bonded omega. That unless their bond dissolves itself, they're destined to remain where they are. Because abuse and mutilation are better than potentially dying a slow and painful death of mate withdrawal. But…personally, I'm not so sure if that's true. I've been there, watching as my mother has suffered all my life. And sometimes I think she would be better off without her bond. Sometimes I wonder if she would have been better off if I hadn't been born.”
A sharp, horrified gasp left Luan’s lips the moment the words fell from his mate’s. He was moving before he could even register the stinging, brutal ache within his ribs for the emotion it was. 

Rolling atop Finn, straddling his sheet-clothed hips as he cupped that strong jaw in trembling hands, Luan found himself staring down at a startled alpha as agonized emotion shuddered down that bond within them. 

As, emphatically, Luan said, "Finn, I know that isn't true. I've never met your mother, but I'm sure she loves you with everything she has, that you and Siobhán are everything to her. So I'm sure she doesn't think her life would be good at all without you in it. No one who hates or resents their child does the things your mother has, trust me. Your mother loves you, fought with everything she had to give you and your sister the lives you deserved. Do you think that’s something someone who hates their child would do?”

Finn could only stare, slack-jawed, at his mate, at the normally anxious, quiet omega who spoke so forcefully, so emotively, on his behalf. Heart thundering, shuddering with silent emotion, Finn’s roiling gaze searched Luan’s, flickering over those emerald depths, before, gently, the alpha covered Luan’s hands with his own. 

“Okay,” Finn whispered, offering his mate a shaky, gentle smile that had Luan melting like softened butter against his broad chest. 

“Yeah?” the omega murmured, his nose brushing Finn’s. 

Only to smile with sunshine sweetness as Finn’s warm voice echoed “Yeah” as those strong fingers slid into his dark hair, and their mouths met once more. 

This kiss was different than their others had been-- sweeter, gentler with rolling caresses and careful touches that spoke of the tentativeness of forever. It lacked the crashing, rough consumption they had collided into before, as if they were intent to crack the other open to crawl within one another and rest forevermore. Instead this kiss spoke of careful desires and tentative hopes. It strung soft, trailing fingers and explorative tongues into a dance of comfort, of predictability. 

Fingers found each other, twining tight, as all too soon the kiss ended, and the pair separated to catch their shuddering breaths, eyes searching the sated expressions they shared. 

“Tell me about my mate,” Finn requested gently, echoing Luan’s words back at him with adoring sweetness. 

Unknowing of the panicked turmoil that rose in his mate’s chest, cinching with thorned cruelty about his lungs, choking every breath, in response. 

So, rather, in a voice Luan could only hope wasn’t as trembling and broken as it felt within his throat, cutting like shards of broken glass along his insides, he whispered, “Later.” 

Instead pressing a soft kiss to the underside of Finn’s jaw as their pheromones flared and twined, growing thick and viscous in the air around them. 

“Later,” Finn agreed, fingers knotting in Luan’s dark curls as he returned that hot, opened mouth kiss to the underside of Luan’s jaw, sending him shuddering. 

As, together, they fell into the oblivion of each other once more.