Lucas

“Then let me. I’ll do it.” Where it comes from, I don’t have a clue. All I know is I’m still crouched down next to Emilia when I blurt the words. Before I can second guess myself, I look into those sad whiskey eyes and say, “Embree, please let me do this for you. For them. I can help.”

“No! That’s not happening.” Creed stands abruptly, as Nero growls and bears his teeth from where he sits at my side.

With a hand on Creed’s chest, Agent Hunt attempts to calm him. “Creed. It has to be done, you said so yourself.”

“Are you kidding me? I don’t know this guy. I haven’t a clue who the fuck he is and you expect me to hand over my wife and kids to him?”

“His name is Lucas Holt. He’s Jen’s brother and I can vouch for him. He’s a good guy, Creed,” Ben tries to reassure him.

“Of course he is…” He shakes his head, throwing it back as he laughs incredulously. “God, that explains so fucking much.” With a pained expression he lowers his gaze, then fixes Emilia with a cold, hard glare. “Tell me then, Emilia, if he’s such a good guy, why did he leave you the way he did? And where the hell has he been all these years?”

That’s it!

Standing I give Nero the signal to stay, then I step into Creed’s space. “This is about what you did! I may have left her first, but I was only a 17-year-old kid. You, on the other hand, abandoned the family you created and should have protected until your dying breath. You walked away, leaving them to live with the consequences of the mess you made. It’s why you no longer have a say. From this point forward, all choices belong to her, so back the fuck up and learn your goddamn place.”

When Creed attempts to take a swing at me, Agents Hunt and Halder step in to restrain him. Ignoring the scuffle that ensues, I return to Embree’s side and squat down so we’re at eye level.

Taking her hand, I ask, “Sweetheart, what do you want to do? Whatever comes next is your call.” Her eyes are vacant, and she’s no longer crying. When she shrugs, I know she’s lost in her thoughts. “Embree, listen to me. You’re the one in control here. Tell me what you want and I promise you, I will make it happen.”

Like he knows what I’m trying to do, Nero lays his head on her lap.

“I want this to be over.” Her eyes are a pool of emotion, as with her free hand, she reaches down to pet Nero.

“Tell me. What does that mean?”

“I’m ready,” she says in a whisper. “I’ll sign the divorce papers and whatever else they need.”

“You got it. What about the girls?”

“Will you…?” She pauses while a lone tear slips down her cheek.

“I told you, whatever you need, I will do.” I give her a warm smile, even as apprehension prickles down my spine. God, I hope neither of us comes to regret this.

“Now hold on a second,” Ben interrupts. “Someone please explain to me how this solves our issue with the FBI.”

“Glad you asked.” Maxine steps toward Ben and with a bright smile hands him an envelope. “It’s a flash drive with evidence taken straight from bureau servers. It includes email exchanges and other documentation between parties who were coerced into manufacturing the evidence used by the judge to issue the surveillance warrants on Emilia. Get this to OPR the same way you gave them the audio file from Kessler’s visit to her house. Tell them you don’t know the source of the information, only that it was mailed to your office anonymously.”

Stepping back to where Hunt is still struggling to contain Creed, she adds, “There’s enough there to end Agent Kessler’s career, as well as a few others, including a federal judge. After that, we doubt anyone at the Bureau will bother her again. All we ask is you wait 24 hours. By then, the divorce and pertinent paper trail will be filed and uploaded, leaving no doubt that Creed and Emilia’s relationship ended several months before he took this assignment.”

“Wait, one problem. Three years ago, I was a SEAL on active duty, running ops in the Middle East. How are you going to explain me adopting the girls while I was in theatre?” I ask, looking from the Agents over to Nic.

“I’ll need your service records,” Nic answers. “The simplest way would be to stage it to look like the custody change for the girls happened more recently. Emilia believed her husband wouldn't return, so she took steps to help her move on.” Cringing, she looks at Creed. “I’m sorry, but unfortunately the paperwork will have to show your parental privileges were stripped, not that you gave them up.”

Shaking his head, Creed collapses back into his seat. He looks noticeably upset but doesn’t say a word.

For the next 30 minutes, I watch helplessly as Nic goes over the terms of the paperwork with Embree and Creed. Hearing the personal details of their life together feels like an invasion of their privacy. Excusing myself, Nero and I go back into the living room and take a seat. Pulling out my phone, I distract myself by checking my email. Shortly after, both Mason and Dominick excuse themselves and go outside. Ben, however, takes a seat on the couch next to me.

“You doing okay?”

Shrugging my shoulders, I tuck my phone back into its holster at my waist. “Just wondering how a guy can walk away from his family like this.”

“Don’t judge him too harshly. He’s not that much different from us. Think about it, you gave up 13 years of your life to fight for your country. Putting the needs of it before everything, including yourself and everyone you love. How’s that any different from what he’s doing?”

“For starters, he shouldn’t have started a family if this is the life he wanted. Once he did, his commitment should have been to them, not the job.”

“Seriously? You’re going to sit there and tell me the men you served with, most of whom had wives and children, were wrong for leaving their families each time they deployed? You can’t really believe that.”

“Not the same. The military is the military. We all know what we signed up for, including spouses and families. But this? No one forced him to do this. He chose it when he could have just as easily said no. He was reckless and put his family in harm’s way. If I had what he has and was given the choice to keep them or follow a mission, I’d say fuck the mission.”

“Well, based on what happened in there, you’ll now have part of what he had. Sure you’re up for it? I mean, these are kids who will someday grow up. They’ll have expectations of the man who went to great lengths to take over their father’s role. Are you sure you want to take that on without so much as a conversation about what that will look like? Not trying to talk you out of it, but maybe you and Emilia should discuss it before this goes any further.”

He’s right. But at the end of the day, it’s not my place to bring it up or place any demands around it. 

“I agree. But discussing it doesn’t change that Creed is right. We have to get the three of them free and clear from the trouble attached to him. Plus, Embree is their mother. I’ll let her dictate the role she wants me to take in their lives. I’ll never push for more or less than she needs from me.”

“Even if that means sticking it out in Ruby Creek permanently? You know, for visitations and spending time with them like a real dad. What if that’s what she ends up wanting? Are you sure you can give those girls everything they deserve? Or hell, do you even want to?”

Considering his question, I take a deep breath. The truth of the matter is, I’m not sure that I’m ready to be a father. As of an hour ago, it’s something I didn’t think was possible. In the years I was in the military, I never saw it as an option, given my frequent travels and the dangers I faced on a continual basis. And in the sixteen months since getting out, it’s been all about my recovery and readjustment to civilian life.

Up until I arrived in this town, I didn’t think I could handle being amongst people, let alone consider the prospect of a family. But now, as I sit here thinking back to everything Embree has endured on her own, I can’t help but want to take some of the burden off her shoulders. And while yes, I’m doing this mainly to help her, in the short time I’ve been around them, I’ve grown to care about those two little girls.

I want what’s best for them, and by doing this, it’ll give me a chance to teach them their worth. An opportunity to show them what it’s like to truly be loved, respected, and wanted. I’ll get to show them how a man is supposed to care for his family, putting them first always, even above himself.

“I think I do want this. I feel it in my gut that this is the right thing to do. I’m not big on fate, and I sure as hell don’t trust the universe, but what if this is my chance to make amends for my mistakes?”

“These are kids, though, Lucas. They’re not your second chance, they’re your only chance. You mess this up, and it screws them up for life. Fuck, why anyone puts themselves through this shit, I’ll never understand.” He shakes his head as he looks at the ground in front of him.

“Are we talking about me adopting the girls, or you and Jen bringing a life into the world?”

“I don’t know, man. I just feel like there’s so much that can go wrong. I mean, you know how fucked up this world is. Isn’t it selfish to bring a kid into it, and expect them to rise above it all? Even I don’t have that kind of self-control, so how could I expect my child to do something I can’t? Plus, how the hell do I keep them safe, when at every turn there’s danger and pain?”

We both turn our attention to the conversation happening in the small kitchenette. Embree’s posture is defeated, and Creed’s not much better as Nic speaks to them in soothing tones. Regardless of the animosity I feel towards him, I can’t deny the guy cares about his family. This situation is gutting them both, but in the end, it’s Embree who gets to go home to the sphere of joy and innocence that surrounds the girls. There’s something to be said for the love, energy, and spark one feels when in the presence of a child.

“You’re right. It’s scary as fuck, but I’d like to think we have as much to learn from them as they do from us. They teach us how to love and live without abandon, while we can teach them that there’s life beyond the danger and pain. Plus, if we show them how to forgive, hopefully, they’ll turn that shit our way when we inevitably screw things up.”

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Author’s Note:

I love the way Lucas stands up for Emilia while giving her the space to choose what's best for her! He is a "Protector" in every sense of the word, and I do believe he intends to be there for Embree and the girls in whatever capacity they need.

As far as his interaction with Ben, this is the first time we see him offering Ben advice. It's an unusual exchange given that Ben is typically the one with the answers. I love Lucas's perspective on raising children and I can't wait to watch these two men come into parenthood together.

So what are your thoughts on this chapter? Do you think Ben's right when he mentioned that Lucas and Emilia should have a deeper conversation before proceeding with the adoption? Also, am I the only one who's still hurting for Creed?

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