Vervain left the room and I leaned back, staring up at the ceiling and watched dust motes float lazily from the bit of light drifting in from the disrupted curtains. Boyd crawled up from where he was hiding to stare at my face, his weight uncomfortable on my chest in that familiar way cats manage to do it and chirped. I stared back, my hand shaking as I slowly petted him.

“How, are you alive?” I whispered silently. His head tilted before he padded at my mouth with a paw. He headbutted my chin before choosing to rest on my shoulder in a nap. I stared out blankly, blinking every so often as I tried to make sense of everything I learned. I held up my right hand with the left being taken over by Boyd and studied the scars, the ones from the lightning and my own. Did my family ever know what happened to me? Did I die in an accident going home? My hand thumped onto the bedding as the door creaked open. I turned my head and saw it was Nox in their human male form.

They looked nervous before slowly shuffling in.

“You smell like death greeted you.” Was their reply. I kept silent, watching them sit on the edge of the bed. He set a journal down, blank with a graphite stub.

“So,” they started. “The Highkin told me some stuff about you.” I stared at them. They looked at the door instead.

“Did your parents in your old life, mention a woman named Aoife?” The name sounded familiar, a worm of memory wiggled through and I reached for the journal, carefully writing out my answer.

“A few times, she helped my mother give birth to me when a storm was happening, my mother couldn’t make it to the hospital in time and she appeared as if sent by some deity. I was a rainbow baby according to my parents because they thought my mom couldn’t have children and I nearly died ‘cause I was stuck in the birth canal.” They almost named me after her but chose something from my maternal grandmother’s heritage but still inspired by Aoife’s kindness.

“Aoife have any distinguishing marks?” They pressed. “A, heart shaped birthmark on her right shoulder.” I remembered my mother joking when I had a similar mark of my own and it was decided I’d wear my heart on my sleeve all the time. I peeled my sleeve back to look only to remember this wasn’t my body. It would be nice if it was still there. Nox touched the spot without moving their gaze from the door and sighed.

“She, was kind, to a fault. It was her greatest weakness and her biggest strength.”

“She, passed on her fate to you.” They said after almost thirty seconds of silence. “And in return, she took yours.” I studied them, just how powerful was she?

“What was her fate?”

“To be a divine witch, but she got plagued by that curse and knew she didn’t have the strength anymore.” Their fists clenched, tears trailing down their face and the tracks exposing the bits of scaling under the illusion of human skin.

“And what was mine?”

“To be the Maiden concept of the Trinity.” Trinity? Like the Holy Trinity?

“Think, Hecate, the Three Fates, the Three Norns but this group veered off-course millennia ago so the other deities stripped them of most of their power other than looking after the fates of a select few. They have been digging their fingers into whatever bits they could ever since.” I saw their shoulders shake with anger, sadness? as they explained. “They hold power over some of the witch’s fate, my sister refused hers because she knew what could go wrong with that curse attached to her and gave her fate to you instead.” I swallowed.

“So, what does that make me to you?” I asked. They pulled their gaze from the door.

“The last bit of kindness she left in this world.” A grin spread on their face but there was a flash of pain in their eyes. “I’m gonna say yer ma niece.” I sneered and they laughed, which morphed quickly into painful sobs. I sat up and scooted closer to them, wrapping my arms around Nox in a hug. Their frame wracked with maybe centuries of suppressed emotion, lungs gasping for air and I wished I was better at helping them grieve. I rubbed my hand up and down their back, feeling their ribs and spine bumps. It was strange, seeing such a mighty being seemingly reduced to an almost puddle of almost violent emotion.

But they did lose their sister, all because she saw a risk she didn’t want to take. I didn’t know who I should be angry at, her, that curse she wound up with or that Trinity group that just let it happen for whatever scheme they had cooked up. We sat like that, even when the shadows grew long and covered everything in darkness-even when their sobs turned nearly silent and body barely moving except for the slow inhale and exhale of their breath.

“I’m gettin’ dry.” Their voice was gravellier than before, parts of their normal Fae features coming through the glamour. I let go, and they stood, a little unsteady but let out a slow sigh.

“We’ll continue your lessons tomorrow.” They walked to the door and stopped.

“I can, call you my niece, right?” I gave a nod and saw a glimmer of shining teeth. “I’ll give the Highkin hell then.” The door thudded behind them.

Vervain. I touched the bit of antler still hanging around my neck, how did he manage to figure everything out, unless he already knew and was just waiting for me to ask. I squeezed my fist, was he just going to wait while I stumbled onto the answers like some mystical cryptic wizard?

No, my mind added, he did do that weird information thingie with Edgren. Could he read souls? He said he was a concept, which according to him was a god. I rested my hands over my belly as I laid back down.

Marry me. His voice echoed in my ears. I scrunched up my face in a frown, other than to keep the North’s hands off me, there really wasn’t a reason as to why. Or was it because I was a remnant of sorts of Aoife? My eyes widened as my heart clenched in the worst way.

Was that all I was to him? Some reminder of a dead woman like with Nox? Nox I could understand, she was his sister but to know that I was some reminder of the woman he loved-I gripped the cord, yanking it and felt it refuse to budge. I fumbled for the knot and found it, taking a few minutes to figure out the actual loops he made. The antler fell into my shirt and I fished it out, about to toss but stopped.

It was a gift, even if I’m just a reminder of her but that part stung. My shoulders hunched as tears burned through.

I am my own person too! I am Tara dammit, not Rán, or ‘princess’ and definitely not Aoife! My fist lowered and Boyd let out a trill, batting at the bit of Vervain’s antler hanging off, eyes going that derpy, goofy way cats had when their brains get overloaded by stimulation-Boyd's being the sight of something dangling.

I wrapped the cord around my left wrist, tying the ends together. I lightly tapped at the bit with a fingernail, feeling the ‘tap-tap’ resound in the piece of bone where it rested near my arm.

Boyd blocked my view of my new bracelet and rested against my neck, purring. I buried my nose into his fur, pressing a soft kiss to the white spot on his chest. His tail thumped against my arm as I drifted off into sleep and into a dream.

It was another memory. My mother humming to a song on the radio as I sat on the stool, watching her cook gulaš. I could smell the wonderful scents of our home. The meat frying in the pan, boiled potatoes were being mashed and mixed with flour, spices, and egg to make the fried pancakes that were gonna be served. The faint wihiff of the vingear cleaner my mom liked to use on the countertops as I lounged near the sink.

“Mama, why’d grandma name me Tara?” Ahhhh, this memory. Grandma's birthday was today and mama wanted to give her a bit of a reminder of home since she was turning sixty five. My mother took a look at the meat before adding something to the pot, it wasn’t until later in life that I learned it was paprika, having recognized it when I tried deviled eggs at a friend’s house during Easter.

“She grew up near the Tara Mountain before moving to Russia and meeting grandpa. It was to settle the argument daddy and I were having over your name when we finally arrived at the hospital.” The argument, they were fighting over whether to name me after the woman who had saved me, Aoife.

“What’s it mean though?” She slid a cookie over to me which I munched on, grateful for the before dinner snack. “Star, because she knew you were meant to be a guide and the stars guide us, little fawn.” I stuck my tongue and earned a soft whack on my shoulder.

“Tara Basque, you are seven, not three.” She chided softly before smoothing my hair. “You grew up so beautifully, you know.”

My eyes snapped opened and I felt the presence of a visitor. I looked around before focusing on a bird mask in the darkness, my heart thudding in my chest, Boyd chirped in my ear, his purrs distracting me.

There was a soft screech of metal on metal and the curtains opened on their own, revealing the starry sky and the mask drifted closer, a shape forming out of the shadows to that of a blob with thin legs. The mask lifted and it seemed to pull some of the shadows away from the rest of its form, revealing a youthful face, the eyes reflected the stars as they looked me over. They looked feminine, with high cheekbones like mine but pale rosy skin. Freckles dotted their face, like ink splatters on white canvas. Their dark lashes were long and curly, forming crescents with every blink. I was motionless as the face drifted closer. Sleep Paralysis happened on occasion to me when I was younger, after my mom had died, and the summers spent dealing with that man. I haven't experienced it in so long that I nearly forgotten about it. A hand formed and gingerly touched the bracelet before untying the knot and pulled it free-I felt a bit of fear crawl up my spine that the being was going to steal it but instead they merely slipped it around my neck-getting Boyd to move and retied it around my neck. Boyd resettled and was earned some scritches in return which he happily enjoyed.

“He cares for you more than I expected, little light.” Two fingers rested on my eyebrows.

“Sleep.” My lids shut when they dragged their fingers down. I slept without another dream invading my senses and awakened feeling much better than I had in years.