HARLEY 

“You can go faster than that,” Jae taunted with a grin as he whipped past me for a third time on the ice. 

I nodded, too tired to even fake a smile as I took my time with my skates. We’d been in the rink for just over twenty minutes, and I was done with it all a few minutes in. When I had suggested skating as a date, I didn’t realise how good Jae was, or how much my muscles had forgotten. 

It was never my specialty, but I was comfortable enough as a child from what I could recall. And I wasn’t bad, but I was slower and a lot more hesitant than I thought I’d be. 

Jae, on the other hand, was some kinda gazelle. 

He came up beside me, kind of winded, but clearly having a good time with that grin still plastered on his face. 

“You never told me you had a gift,” I remarked. 

“Oh,” he shrugged, “I played a lot of hockey growing up, and here and there I’ll hit the ice with my buddies.”

‘His buddies?’

My mind ran to judgement, but I stopped myself once I noticed. Some guys just called their friends their ‘buddies’. It didn’t have to mean anything, and I pushed aside the thoughts of the kind of guys that use that terminology. It didn’t have to be any deeper than a word he used.

Once I let that thought go, I was left imagining him having fun with his friends playing hockey, how good they all probably were, how bad I had become...

And then I was on my ass.

“Shit,” I muttered, not in any hurry to get off the hard, cold ground.

Jae finished his lap before he noticed, and I could tell he was trying to stifle his amusement, “are you okay?”

Usually, I’d be more gracious and instantly laugh at myself in this kind of situation. On its own, it was kind of funny. I got distracted then I fell; simple as that. But, something about the way the last hour of this date had gone was not sitting well with me. I decided to follow the words of my mom - and many others - by not saying anything at all. Jae offered his hand to me as I got up, but I opted not to take it.

I slowly skated over to the edge of the rink, got out, and sat my ass on a wooden bench. My body wasn’t that tired, but I could feel some bruises forming in different spots. Just the thought made me let out a long sigh, but I didn’t wanna look upset in front of Jae. He watched me from his spot on the ice for a little while before coming over to sit next to me.

“You wanna go somewhere else,” he asked.

“If you’re having fun, you should keep skating,” I suggested. 

I meant for it to sound casual and neutral, but the look on Jae’s face told me my intended delivery had failed. I had really wanted to say, ‘yes, please,’ I thought, but I didn't want to ruin his good time. 

His eyes narrowed while they searched my face, and I hung my head a little. This was it. Once again, I thought I’d met a great guy, but he or I turned out to be wrong in some way and this was where things ended. Though I wanted to just get it over with, I waited for him to speak first because I wanted to know what he was thinking when he’d looked at me like that.

“Let’s get some poutine,” Jae decided. 

I was surprised to find that we weren’t parting ways, and even more so to see him standing up with a smile as he held out a hand to help me up. I didn’t think I needed it, but there was no denying the warmth in my chest when our hands met. Once I was up, I didn’t let go, and neither did he. Our hands stayed together as we made our way back to return our rentals.

The smell of fries hit me like a warm hug as soon as Jae opened the door of Smoke’s Poutinerie. All the things that had been bothering me up until that point started to melt away like the cheese curds under the hot gravy of the poutine. We each ordered a big one, but of different flavours so we could sample each other’s.

“Let’s see if tater tots are good in poutine,” I commented as I poked around Jae’s food. 

He rolled his eyes, “are you a poutine purist?”

My hands went up, “I just think that the og is unmatched. Which is why I got the classic, but let’s try yours. I am big enough to admit when I’m wrong.”

I took a few tots, some cheese, and a good amount of gravy on my fork then tried the foreign mix. My mouth and brain were confused at first as they expected long, cubic cuts of fries. But, it was pretty good.

“I like it,” I told Jae, and I could see him lighting up.

He smirked, “see-”

“It’s a little salty for me, though.”

Once again, his eyes rolled to the back of his head, “what are you even talk-”

“Is that Mr. Jae Song?!”

Jae and I both looked for the loud voice that was calling him, and I watched as Jae’s eyes lit up when they landed on a tall East-Asian guy and a shorter woman that was smiling beside him. Jae quickly got up and went to hug the man and say hi to the lady with him. They chatted for a while, and I waited for a while, until it had been so long that my food was losing its steam and my patience was running thin. I enjoyed most of my poutine, alone, and Jae glanced back once or twice while he reminisced or something.

I barely noticed them walk up to our table as I was staring into the last of my poutine.

“Evan, Cindy, this is Harley. Harley, this is my best friend from high school and his wife,” Jae smiled as he introduced them.

I was able to put on a polite smile, despite myself, and say hi to Jae’s friends. Evan and Cindy looked like they had been high school sweethearts, whether that was true or not. Although it was freezing out, she wore a plaid mini skirt on top of brown stockings, topped with a turtle neck that was under her short TNA coat. Her knee-high boots reminded me of fashion trends’ past, but the look suited her.

And her husband looked like he was still living out his university days. He wore a large letterman jacket on top of a dark hoodie, some jeans, and black timberland boots. He smiled like the world hadn’t yet marked him, and I appreciated the appearance of innocence. 

They both smiled at me and shook my hand. Evan said something about Jae being lucky, and his wife just laughed along. As nice as they were, I was kind of annoyed and it must have shown because Jae was clearing his throat soon enough. 

“It was nice to see you guys,” he told them, then with a couple hugs and goodbyes they were out the door of the poutinerie. 

Jae looked pleased when he finally sat back down. He grinned at me as he asked, “sorry, where were we?”

I sighed, looked at my watch and, after confirming it had in fact been more than 30 minutes of me sitting and waiting, I got up. When I glanced over at my date I was met with a confused expression. 

“I think I’m gonna go,” I said simply. 

Jae got up, eyes wide, “what happened?”

Packing up my food gave me a few moments to breathe and choose my words carefully. I didn’t know what was going through Jae’s head, now or when he had spent the better part of our date with his friends, but the answer to his question seemed obvious. And I didn’t have the patience to deal with another ‘guys’ guy’. 

“Seems like I was wrong about you, and maybe we should go our separate ways,” I replied, then made my way out. 

Although a big part of me was secretly hoping Jae would run after me, I didn’t hold my breath considering how the date had gone. Once again, a guy that was all talk and no action. At least not the right kind of action. I could see myself waiting for him in several different scenarios in the future while he was just out with his friends. Then, I’d add up the time spent and realise that I was not a priority in his life but ‘the boys’ were. And I did not wanna go through that again. I refused to.