A couple of weeks passed. Veronica, for all of her retorts and complaints, followed through with her part of the bargain. She kept her nose clean (in the apartment anyway) and did some chores, sprucing up the place. The extra $500 gave Jessie a chance to pull back a bit on the double shifts and have a relatively normal schedule. It was refreshing seeing her actually get some rest. 

Veronica was certainly less enthused about the cleaning she had to do around the place. I could hear her huffing under her breath as she mopped the floor of the kitchen while Jessie actually enjoyed the breakfast I served her.

“I’m starting to think I got the raw end of the deal,” Veronica muttered.

“You kidding me?” Jessie responded sardonically. “Three hot meals, a roof, and a bed? You’ve got it made.”

“Still have to pay for room and board for work, how does that make any goddamn sense?” Veronica continued to mutter.

“That reminds me… I found your ‘office supplies’.”

Veronica suddenly froze. I could feel my teeth grit at the comment. That was one of the details I conveniently left out about Veronica’s “work routine.” That said, I was unaware that Veronica had some stashed here. Jessie glanced towards me. I quickly shoveled in more food to distract myself from the conversation. That was probably more of a giveaway of my knowledge of the situation than I intended. Either way, Veronica was caught dead to rights. She craned her head towards Jessie, forcing a smile.

“We’re, uh… still good, yeah?” Veronica asked nervously.

“As long as you don’t bring that here, you hear?” Jessie replied calmly. 

There was a quiet threat behind her words, but at least she didn’t outright thrash her. Veronica nodded. Jessie looked back towards me.

“Not like you took her up on any offers, right?”

I froze with the fork in my mouth. My gaze slowly drifted towards her. I meekly shook my head. She gave me a suspicious look, cocking an eyebrow up as she took another bite of her food. There was definitely some frostiness between Jess and Veronica. Certainly nothing antagonistic (if you ignored Veronica jokes and jabs), but Jess clearly handled everything as a necessity versus actively enjoying her company.

Of course, I enjoyed having Veronica over in general. It was nice waking up to a friend and having someone I could talk to aside from my sister. That and occasionally joining her at night to be held. I think we both enjoyed the quiet simplicity of the intimacy, or at least I did. I tried to show it anyway I could. Usually, it was in the form of a meal she enjoyed.

“How ‘bout a breakfast break?” I asked quietly with a smile.

I crouched down next to her with a plate of ground beef hash. She looked up and gave me a slight smile. She glanced over at Jessie as she gave her a sardonic look, asking for approval. Jessie smirked back as she lifted her mug towards Veronica.

“I said three meals, didn’t I?” Jessie responded, almost conceding.

“Thanks, Warden.”

Veronica leaned the mop against the wall as she took the plate from me, approaching the kitchen table. Jessie glared at Veronica as she smirked playfully back at Jessie. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy their back and forths, as long as I didn’t get caught in the crossfire. Thankfully it was relatively quiet until Jess left for work. 

Veronica spent most of the morning cleaning. I did what I could to help lighten the load, although much to my surprise, I didn’t come across her “supplies.” I was more curious as to how Jessie found them versus what they entailed. Eventually, she found her way back to the urns, dusting the shelves that hadn’t been handled in some time. I could tell she was still fascinated by the mysteries of the past.

“Car accident,” I blurted out.

Veronica looked back towards me, duster in hand, surprised at my forthrightness. I looked between her and the urns and smiled awkwardly.

“I saw you give it a few peeks since we last talked about them.”

“Were they out and about, or-”

“Family trip, actually. We were driving up to Maine. Mom and Dad figured we could use an escape from everything.”

“So what happened?” Veronica asked, sitting on the arm of the couch. “Blown tire? Fell asleep at the wheel?”

There was a morbid fascination behind her eyes as she honed her focus completely on me. She looked like a kid around a campfire listening to a horror story. I grimaced with a look of shame.

“Problem is when you’ve got shit to deal with, having two very argumentative siblings probably isn’t the best idea. I can’t even remember what we were even fighting about. Brothers and sisters fight over stupid stuff all the time. I think it had something to do with my birthday getting in the way of something… or maybe the trip was supposed to be part of it and I wasn’t feeling it. I can’t even remember anymore.”

I looked up at the urns. Suddenly the picture seemed to stare back at me with mocking smiles. I looked away, swallowing nervously. I could feel my hand stimming again. Veronica’s gaze shifted from locking her eyes to mine to catching my little tic. I looked back towards her, getting more self-conscious. I took a deep breath and sighed, wanting to get the conversation over with.

“Jess stuck her phone in my face, pointing it at me like she wanted to prod me with it. I lost my temper and slapped it out of her hand.”

I let out an awkward laugh. I started to pace around the room, running my hand through my hair.

“I could never aim a ball for shit, but leave it to me and crappy luck… I sent it flying right past mom’s ear and into the windshield. Caught her off guard, she swerved and… “

I paused, my mouth floundering as it tried to think of what to say. All I could do was motion towards the urns. I shrugged my shoulders and let my hands drop to the side. Veronica’s curiosity slowly cascaded to pity as the conversation progressed. She leaned forward and gently grabbed my fingers, reeling me towards her. I slowly looked towards her, the shame making me want to hide away. It was strange though. In her eyes I saw understanding, a look of someone who knew the pain of that kind of regret. I looked towards the floor, inhaling sharply through my nose.

“The fuckups are the ones that are supposed to go,” I said with a low angry growl. “I’m the one who caused it, but they’re the ones that bite the dust? And Jess… Jesus, Jess, if you saw what I did to her-”

“Jack,” she started calmly, interrupting me by squeezing my hand. “There’s nothing wrong with surviving. You hear me?”

I looked towards her again. She gave me a gentle tug, pulling me towards the couch. I practically fell to the seat as she gave me a strong but comforting look.

“Things happen. Some big, some small. Maybe we have a hand in it, and maybe none at all. What happened to you? Your family? It was an accident. A freak accident. That doesn’t make you any less deserving of being here.”

I stared at her for a bit before my head sank. I still remember waking up after the crash and seeing the carnage that had befallen my family. Mom’s head had been plastered on the steering wheel. Dad was impaled by the tree we crashed into, the branch piercing through the windshield and his head. Jessie, despite being in a relatively safer part of the car, looked like somebody had taken a bat to her head due to smashing her head against the window. And then there was me… practically unharmed, save for a couple of bruises and small cuts. I sighed loudly, trying to push the memories away.

“How ‘bout this? You think Jessie would stick around if she blamed you?”

“She’s family.”

“Family doesn’t mean shit,” Veronica retorted.

She gave me a serious stare. There was bitterness in her words and eyes. Somehow, that empathy never left her gaze. A weak smile grew on her face.

“She’s a real one, family or not.”

She got to her feet and walked up to the urns with the duster in hand. She did her best to keep a smile as she faced me.

“If your brain keeps telling you otherwise, then trust me, yeah?”

I gazed at her. A small smile creeped on my face as my head sank again with a nod. Her words didn’t magically solve my self-loathing, but I could tell she had some experience in the matter. At the very least, the encouragement and camaraderie softened the pain. Veronica’s smile turned into a grin as she pointed at me, like she was going to hold me to a promise. 

Veronica chuckled quietly as she turned back towards the urns with the duster. My smile suddenly changed to horror as a scraping sound came from the duster shoving my father’s urn off of the shelf. My head snapped upwards, and the image of it slipping over the edge played in slow motion. I could feel a scream escaping my lungs as it floated in the air. 

Before the scream could escape, Veronica grabbed the urn with her free hand. I stared, hanging at the edge of my seat. My breathing was fast and shallow, like I was about to have a panic attack. Veronica stared at the urn before looking back towards me with an encouraging smile.

“Told ya. Trust me.”

I slowly exhaled as my body relaxed. Veronica chuckled again as she placed the urn back on the shelf and crossed her arms. It was odd how slowly that moment had played out, that I could see everything happen but was powerless to stop it. It only made the irony greater that I didn’t even perceive the shelf’s bolt snap out of the wall and collapse, with the urns and photo plummeting to the ground in an instant. I didn’t even process the shattering of the urns and frame until several seconds after.

Veronica, with her smile suddenly full of fear, slowly turned her head towards the ground. She somehow became even paler as the realization hit. Her lip twitched as she slowly turned to face me. I had been overtaken by so much horror, I couldn’t even make a face. I stared, stunned by the cruel fate that had befallen us. At that point, I knew the truth: my feelings were completely justified, because clearly, my parents haven’t forgiven me.