Dear Diary, everything is not just fine.  I was supposed to go back to silently passing by the lead characters, living my happy side character life.  Instead, the male lead seems determined to talk to me every time we pass each other.  Which is apparently a lot.  I know Millana was in the story enough for me to notice her, but this seems like too much.  We were never supposed to talk again.  I don't remember much of the story, but they definitely never talked again.

I had really thought... or hoped... that at the ball I had delivered my line well enough to pass by the leads’ attention.  I knew it wasn't perfect, but it had seemed like it was good enough.  The heroine had run by me without even a glance, and while the male lead had hesitated, I did deliver my line correctly eventually and he had moved on past me.  Thus, I tried to proceed happily moving around them without us casting another glance at each other.

At the ball, I had caught a glimpse of the imperial gardens.  It had been dark shortly after the ball began, so I hadn't seen much of it, but enough to catch my attention.  Several of the gardens were open to public viewing, and it was common for nobles to make an outing to see the grounds and have a picnic.  I had mentioned to my friends that it seemed like a lovely place to come back and visit, and we all agreed to meet there for our next outing.

The day of our garden visit dawned with perfect weather.  The air was warm, but with a coolness that announced the quickly approaching fall.  A few bright clouds floated happily through the sky, pushed by a slight breeze.  Everything about it seemed to herald the approach of a perfect day.

And we did have a perfect day, almost.  The gardens were beautiful, and it felt nice to stroll around them.  One part seemed to have flowers of every color of the rainbow, another seemed to focus on strong smelling plants, and we enjoyed getting lost in the hedge maze until we eventually found our way out again.

As we were leaving, however, and the sun was sinking in a way that painted the sky with a rainbow of colors as if to give us the perfect ending to a perfect day (but it was full of lies), the main characters, the pink haired lady and black haired man from the ball, were walking past us to enter.  The man was talking to his companion, and seemed fully focused on her.  So imagine my surprise, Diary, when he turned to address me!

He reminded me that we'd met at the ball and introduced himself as Carmine Warrol.

I replied, "It's nice to meet you, Your Grace, I'm Millana Hapsum."

But as soon as I'd finished Arianna was whispering urgently in my ear, "He's not the duke.  His father is."

I was startled by her sudden proximity, and flustered by my mistake, so I tried to cover by apologizing and saying that of course he wasn't the duke yet.  Carmine (Should I call him Lord Carmine even in my diary?  But I think, Diary, you'll forgive me for being less proper here within these pages.) looked like he wanted to say something but wasn't sure how, and everyone else was looking like I'd still said something wrong.

I found myself being pulled away by Martina as she made apologies that our families were expecting us soon and would be worried if we didn't leave immediately.  After we were safely away in the carriage my friends informed me that Lord Carmine is one of two sons that the duke has, and while he is the older, he's an illegitimate son, and the duke hasn't declared a successor yet.  Martina speculated it likely that his father would choose the other son to become the next duke.  But I know, Diary, that he was the duke in the novel, at least for part of it.  That's why I forgot that he wasn't yet.  I'm confident that he'll be the duke again... at least if he stops talking to me and gets back to his plot.

I'd like to say that was the only run in we had.  After all, I think I embarrassed myself enough and made it awkward enough for everyone involved that he should have been deterred from any future conversation.  However, that's not the case.

Not too long after that my friends and I attended an auction.  We weren't particularly interested in the items, but it was fun to watch as people contested each other with bids.  A couple of the items in particular caused heated battles, and we watched with anticipation to find out the winner.  It was great fun... until we were leaving and Carmine appeared before me.

It was as if I hadn't made a fool of myself previously.  How was he not ashamed to be seen with me?  He talked as if we were friends, asking how I'd enjoyed the auction and if I'd come for a particular item.  I introduced my friends as well, and while he was civil towards them he addressed all his questions to only me.  I didn't return his questions.  I didn't want to seem rude, but I also didn't want to mislead him into thinking I was interested, so I gave short replies and asked no questions of my own.

My friends all seemed amused by him seeking me out.  When I said I was too embarrassed to talk to him, they laughed and said if he didn't mind my early blunder then I didn't need to either.  I didn't tell them that I wanted him to mind.

The next outing with my friends was an opera.  Apparently even in a fictional world operas are sung in other languages.  Although I’m not sure if it was meant to be a different language or just an older version of the language, like a made up style of Old English.  The music was captivating and it was entertaining to watch at first, but my attention began to lag halfway through and my eyes drifted to the audience.

Most of the attendees were focused on the stage.  It was a sea of suits, fancy gowns, and satin gloves.  Among them I spotted a patch of bright pink, a lady’s hair.  Her gaze was towards the stage, but I locked eyes with the man beside her.  Carmine gave me a nod, and I abruptly directed my sight back to the opera.  It had my full attention for the rest of the production.  Externally, at least.

Internally, my thoughts were still on Carmine.  I was afraid that it was becoming obvious that I was avoiding him, and as a future duke I didn’t want to anger him.  However, I also didn’t want his attention.  It would have given me great pleasure if he’d just leave me alone, and I didn’t know why he wouldn’t.  For the rest of the opera I was fearing that he’d try to talk to me again as soon as it was over, but he didn’t.  I didn’t even see him when I was leaving.

The next outing that my friends and I took was to go shopping and visit a tea house.  Most of the shopping was window shopping, although Martina bought some thread for her embroidery.  It was pleasant to stroll down the street and giggle together over nothing, while admiring the cute or useful things on display for the stores.

The tea house was at the end of the street, so with our window shopping done we went in for tea and finger sandwiches and cakes.  The food was scrumptious and the tea was high quality.  The reputation of the tea house was well deserved.

I was just thinking that I had finally had an outing without running into Carmine, when his carriage appeared in front of us as we were exiting the tea house.  Carmine was helping the pink haired lady out of his carriage.  I thought it would be a good idea to hurry past and out of his sight before he had time to turn around and spot us, but my friends seemed determined to dawdle.  They were still in a giggly mood, and although they were currently conversing where I couldn’t hear, I had a guess for what they were thinking.  They didn’t realize how much I absolutely wanted to avoid the male lead, because we were not cute together.  The pink haired lady was the one he could have the cute, romantic interactions with, and that was just how I wanted it.

I thought about fleeing without my friends, but I didn’t.  When Carmine spotted me he seemed happy to see me, and struck up a conversation.  This time he started by introducing the pink haired lady as Lady Lucia Shimmark.  Since he’d noticed that we’d come from tea he asked whether we’d enjoyed it, and said that’s why they’d come.  This time he did address my friends as well as me, although my friends left me to answer.  I informed him that the food was delightful and my tea had a strong and pleasant flavor.  That was the extent of the conversation since we both had places to be, but it still ruined my chance at going an outing without running into him.

I just can’t fathom why I have his attention.  I know that I messed up my line, but I didn’t say anything interesting.  Hopefully I’ll lost his attention when he realizes that I’m not an interesting person.  My goal is to avoid all the drama and live quite an ordinary life, and I think he’ll have to realize that the type of person he wants is someone spunky and capable of embracing and overcoming drama, like Lady Shimmark.

That’s the update for now, Diary, but I’ll keep you informed as things progress.  Hopefully the next update will be about how the male lead no longer glances at me, much less talks to me.  Lucia seemed very nice and much better suited for Carmine.