Sunday was the only day I didn't work. We used to go to church but mom was in no shape to be in public.

I hadn't heard her come out of her room yet and I was busy jerking off. I had a dream that seemed so real I could remember every detail.

I'd been mopping the kitchen floor in the restaurant when I heard singing coming from outside.

When I went to check the side alley, a dark shadow fell onto the ground, and when I looked behind the dumpster, Az stood there smoking.

He threw his cigarette on the ground and grabbed my chin. He kissed me roughly, tasting of sweet tobacco. I didn't stop him from taking things further until he ended up fucking me hard against the wall.

The thought of his hands on my body made me come in bursts. When I rolled over to grab the tissues, I found a black feather.

What the hell?

I picked it up and my mind flooded with images. Quick! Where was my phone?!

"So like a bucket list but exclusively for sex?" I asked.

Nicolas laughed and said, "I guess so, yes."

Hmmm, interesting question. I hadn't been with Nicolas for that long so I was still in that stage where I wanted to shock him with my emulated bravado.

In actual fact, I was quite ordinary. The only thing really different about me was that I discovered a preference for dick instead of pussy at age thirteen.

Obviously, I made out with girls and let them blow me in the comfort of my SUV but when it came to fucking them, I just wasn't particularly interested.

The first thing to enter my ass wasn't attached to a boy. It was a pink dildo ordered online and delivered to "Slow Barry"; the high school drug dealer. He didn't care what was in the box so long as I paid his service fee of twenty bucks.

It was totally worth it. That dildo set me free!

I loved it so much that I even gave it a name. Johnny used to fuck me deep, fast, slow, whichever way I wanted it.

When I finally let Paul Turner screw me in his aunt's poolhouse, I was kind of disappointed. My Johnny was way better! I did have to admit that Paul was a phenomenal cocksucker. Just the thought of those lips could still make my dick hard all these years later.

So, what was at the top of my sex list?

"I wanna be tied up, blindfolded, and fucked till I scream," I said not all too quietly. A lady sipping a latte next to me turned around and stared.

"Wow!" Nicolas said, "I did not see that coming!"

I wondered if he could see through the mask of self-confidence that hid my bundle of angst and feelings of worthlessness. 

"What's yours?" I asked, slurping up the last of my coffee.

"I dunno," he said, "Truth be told, I'm happy with what we have right now."

"You bitch!" I said in outrage. "Now, you're making me feel guilty!"

"How did I get so lucky?" Nicolas said, staring into my eyes.

"You aren't lucky, you're a masochist!" I said, dipping a finger in the froth of his cappuccino and dabbing it on his nose.

***

Fall turned to winter and with winter came a day I dreaded every year; my birthday. Twenty-seven years old and still no fucking clue what my life was really about.

I came home after work to an empty apartment. I hadn't expected a surprise party but at least some form of celebratory vibe.

I dropped my keys into the panda-shaped box in the hallway and walked into the kitchen.

"Nicolas?"

No reply.

There was a plate on the kitchen counter with one of my favorite chocolate chip cookies from the bakery around the corner. Next to it lay a red envelope with my name written in Nicolas' handwriting.

I pulled out a card with a picture of a duck with a party hat. "Quacky Birthday!" it said. Who came up with this shit, seriously?!

The inside of the card was empty except for an address, once again written in my boyfriend's handwriting.

What the fuck?

Surely, there was a party at the address so I pulled out my phone and ordered an Uber.

The building was in a really crappy part of town. Why did we have to party here? I climbed the stairs to the fourth floor and rang the doorbell.

No reply.

I knocked on the door and it creaked open. Fuck, this was starting to creep me out a bit.

I walked into a one-bedroom apartment that was in pretty good shape considering the neighborhood. I looked around for people with glasses of champagne but the place was empty.

In the bedroom, I found another red envelope. The front of the card had an ugly cartoon grandpa saying, "You only get old once."

Fuck you, Nicholas!

I laughed at the strangeness of whatever this was supposed to be.

The inside of the card read, "Remove All of your clothing. Lie on the bed. Wear the blindfold and put in the earplugs."

Holy fuck!

A stream of possibilities suddenly rushed through my head instantly making me hard.

I did as the card asked and waited for something to happen. It felt like ten minutes or so had gone by before something touched me.

"Nicholas?"

No answer.

I felt my hands being locked into some sort of cuffs. Then, my legs were urged up and before I knew it, the cuffs were attached to a bar that stretched tightly across my inner thighs.

I was now stuck with my ass pointing towards the edge of the bed. I'd never been this turned on and scared at the same time.

Ohhhh, was that?

Yes! The unmistakable feeling of a tongue on my ass. It moved from bottom to top. A finger pressed in, and then two fingers! They curled on the inside and found the spot. Suddenly, I felt my dick disappear into a mouth whilst a third finger pressed into my ass!

Holy fuck! This was a lot of stimulation!

The blindfold and earplugs made it even more intense. Being robbed of two senses only amplified the others.

Suddenly everything stopped.

"Nicolas! Please, tell me this is you!" I yelled over the dampening effect of the earplugs.

Despite my fake bravado, I was now suddenly shit scared that this was not my boyfriend.

But he wouldn't do that to me, would he?

Could he?

After writing the last sentence, I felt like I'd emptied a carton of milk into a glass. There wasn't a single drop left but the story wasn't finished.

I stared at my phone, my fingers hanging over the keys. Nothing! No words, a total blank.

What if?

I grabbed the feather and the moment I touched it, I saw impossible things. Az stood in the corner of my room, arguing with another man.

"You must stop, Azazel," the man said.

"Stop what, brother?" Az asked, his arms crossed in front of him.

"Did you not hear what happened to Chronos? I can now see everything that results in death across space and time."

Az stared at his "brother" and spluttered, "But I have no intention of hurting the boy, quite the contrary."

He wasn't talking about me, was he?

"Perhaps, but once you manage to corrupt him, he'll want to be free of that which binds him to his current fate."

"I can't possibly be held responsible for people's... alternate choices," Az shrugged.

"Yet, I will not allow this innocent soul to kill his own mother, just so you can have your fun."

"...I swear I didn't know," Az said in shock before disappearing back into the shadows.

Only then did the stranger notice me.

"I'll take that," he said, pulling the feather from between my fingers. He was instantly gone.

Had I finally lost my mind, like my mom? Was I seeing her so-called angels? But if that were true, were any of the things from the last few days real, including my stories?

I quickly opened my Wordpal and saw...

Holy fuck!