“About last night…” Ha Yoon begins, unable to make eye contact with Ki Tae. “It felt good, it really did. But we need to clear things up. I–” he pauses, “I’m still with Dae Won, and he’s the one I love.”

“I know.”

The abrupt reply catches Ha Yoon by surprise.

Ki Tae leans back and takes a sip of his drink. “I know everything. How you felt, how he felt. We’ve been friends for so long we might as well be triplets. And while you two are the crazy ones out there, I’ve always been watching. I’ve always been watching you.”

A shiver runs down Ha Yoon’s spine. He locks eyes with Ki Tae and the fervent heat rekindles inside him.

“I know your feelings very well, whether you said them out loud or not. I’ve seen you at your highest and lowest. I’ve seen you lay bare your heart and body. Your love for him is genuine.” Ki Tae reaches out and brushes his fingers against Ha Yoon’s blushed face. “But is it wrong for me to love you?”

If the heat in his stomach was a spark before, it is now a burning flame that weakens his resolve. Ha Yoon tries to look away but he is captivated by Ki Tae’s dark piercing gaze.

“I’m sorry for not contacting you these past five years,” Ki Tae continues, “If only I hadn’t walked away, we wouldn’t be in this situation.”

“What do you mean?” Ha Yoon can’t hide his confusion.

“If we were together, maybe you would have looked at me, left the past behind.”

Ha Yoon keeps his eyes on Ki Tae. He doesn’t understand what Ki Tae means but he knows that he is being honest. “Ki Tae… tell me.”

A pause.

“Tell me what happened.”

“Do you really want to know?”

The fire in his stomach quickly turns into the venomous snake. An anxiety-inducing sensation that once again takes over his body and rationality.

“Dae Won and I… are we really just friends?”

Ki Tae cups Ha Yoon’s face, a thumb caressing the trembling lips. “Yes.”

“How would you know that? You’re not with us… the past five years. You were gone. I almost forgot about you.”

“But you didn’t.” Ki Tae leans in and kisses Ha Yoon softly, “You recognized me when we met again.”

“Dae Won and I–”

“Shh, it’s just the two of us tonight.”

Ha Yoon lets himself fall into Ki Tae’s arms. His body feels weak and the desire to run away still remains. “Why did we move in together then?”

This time, Ki Tae doesn’t say anything. He merely holds Ha Yoon tightly in his arms as though afraid that he will disappear.

“All these years, I just wanted… to love and be loved.” Ha Yoon whispers.

“Then choose me.” Ki Tae’s firm voice resonates in the air around them. He pulls Ha Yoon even closer. “I love you with my entire being, I’ll give you everything in the world, I’ll prove to you that I’m the only one you’ll ever need.”

Ki Tae moves to give space between them as he makes eye contact with Ha Yoon.

“Let’s go. We’ll have our reunion. You, me, and Dae Won.”

“Huh?” Ha Yoon finds himself escorted out of the tiny booth and to the open bar where Ki Tae excused himself for the night. Before he can understand what exactly is going on, he finds himself outside in the cool evening with Ki Tae’s cold hand clasping his tightly. The sensation causes heat to rise to his cheeks again. How many times is it now? How many times can Ki Tae make his heart flutter with the simplest gesture?

The walk to the apartment is filled with silence. Ha Yoon wonders why Ki Tae’s hands are always cold yet his body becomes unbelievably hot in bed. The memory of their shared night floods back and Ha Yoon has to stop himself from hugging Ki Tae, from feeling the warmth and comfort the man can and will give him.

Before his mind can convince him to do any other stupid things, they arrive at the apartment building. Ha Yoon leads them up the stairs. Each step suddenly holds more dread than the other and he stops at the top of the landing.

“What’s wrong?” Ki Tae asks.

Ha Yoon is quiet for a moment. “What will you do? How will you prove your words?”

The silence once again suffocates him and Ha Yoon almost wishes to turn around, walk down the stairs and run into the darkness of the night. Maybe this is all just a bad dream. Maybe he’ll wake up in the bright morning light. Maybe Dae Won will be next to him, a warm smile on his face.

But Ki Tae’s firm grip of his hand grounds him.

“I’ll show you,” Ki Tae whispers. “Trust me, Ha Yoon.”