I got beat up today. I think the guy was drunk. There were some folks makin moonshine a while back, that could be how he got it. Anyways, he was bigger, and he stomped into camp and tried putting out my campfire, and I got forever starting it up the first time so I tried to stop him and…

  Well all in all, I was kinda stupid. The idiot ran off when he burnt himself. Of course, I was lying in the ground with a black eye and a bloody nose by then. I was probably a bit of an idiot in there somewhere. 

   I miss you.

   I wish I was back at home, with you sitting there, laughing and talking, watching it rain outside. Instead I'm lying out here alone in the mud, trying to ignore a headache and bruises, wishing  I could take the past ten years back.

    I'm sorry.

     I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 

    It's not enough. It'll never be enough, not until I can say it to your face. I'm scared. More than anything, I'm scared that you won't want me anymore. That I broke things too badly between us. And I really can't blame anyone but me for that. 

     I hope… 

      What I hope for isn't mine to offer.