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Sober

Chapter two: Grudges (part 1)

Chapter two: Grudges (part 1)

Feb 08, 2024

This content is intended for mature audiences for the following reasons.

  • •  Drug or alcohol abuse
  • •  Suicide and self-harm
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--Warning!!-- In this chapter there is mentioning of self harm.

It was the Friday, just before summer break would end and Oliver and Zack decided to go to the carnival. It was busier then normal, since it would soon be shut down before it would be changed for the fall/Halloween festival, so everyone was trying to enjoy it, while it lasted. 

They also wanted to enjoy the carnival as much as they could, but there was just one problem, Oliver couldn’t handle the fast-moving rides that much. He would get nausea and in worst case scenario, he would end up puking, something he did not enjoy. So, they decided to walk around and looked at people, who were enjoying themselves, when they passed some of the carnival games. 

Oliver saw a shooting gallery and wondered if he should try his luck and remembered they had challenged each other.

“You think I can win anything?” he asked Zack as he gestured to the shooting gallery, hoping to make him interested. 

Zack shrugged but gave him a wicked grin. “Wanna see who can hit the most?” he dared Oliver, who grinned back. A competition between them would be fun, but not without a bet.

“Ok, if I win, you are going to get me your packs of smokes, since I’m out,” Oliver said, holding his hand out, ready to shake hands with Zack, who frowned at the request but nodded, clearly not pleased about losing his pack of smokes.

“Then if I win then you are going to get me a beer,” Zack said and held out his hand. Oliver contemplated if he should agree to it, since he knew they wouldn’t sell him any beer here at the carnival, or any other store for that matter being underage, but he decided to accept it and took Zacks hand and shook it.

After they both agreed, they went to the shooting gallery and paid the man who kept the shooting gallery and got ready. They both picked up the gun and aimed, then, when the man gave them the green light, they started to shoot.

It was a close fight, both of them hit over half of their targets, still missing a few, but Zack won with just one more hit than Oliver. The man handed Zack a tiny shark shaped stuffed teddy before they left.

“I would like that beer now,” Zack teased and Oliver frowned but a promise is a promise and he told Zack to wait by the lake, before he went off to get a beer.


If it was that easy to get a beer, Oliver would have gotten it right away, but after watching for ten minutes, wondering how he should get it, he saw someone he knew. It was a guy, just above 21 years old, who were talking with his group of friends. Oliver had hung out with him a few times, at different parties, so he decided, if anyone could get him a beer, it could be him and he went to try his luck. 

“Hey Mark,” Oliver greeted, which made Mark stop talking to his friends to look at Oliver, slightly surprised but smiled. 

His shoulder length hair, cut up in layers, were tied up in a low ponytail and dyed dark red. He was wearing a black band t-shirt with some random print of a skull and checkered dark red pants and combat boots. He had several piercings on both his ears and a snake bite. 

“What’s up! What are you doing here?” Mark asked fist bumping Oliver with a smile. 

“Hanging out with Zack,” Oliver replied, and Mark nodded then looked around.

“I see he is not around, where have you hidden him?” Mark asked, grinning.

“By the lake. Actually,” he paused but gave Mark a smile, “I need a favor from you, I’ll pay you of course, with interest,” Oliver reassured Mark, who seemed intrigued, by the mention of money.

“Sure dude, what you need?”

Oliver knew what that meant. Mark was known for having a little bit of everything on him, as long as you had the money for it and Oliver were 
tempted, but he decided to focus on the task ahead.

“I need a beer,” he said. 

Mark looked at him then burst out laughing. “That’s all?” he asked, slightly surprised and Oliver blushed a little as he laughed awkwardly.

“I made a bet with Zack, and I lost,” Oliver explained, speaking both fast and low, embarrassed as he smiled awkwardly, as Mark wiped a tear away from his eyes from laughing.

“I see, and since you aren’t old enough, you can’t buy anything, right?” Mark asked, with a raised eyebrow, smirking and Oliver nodded with a tight-lipped smile. “Well then let me get it for you, wait here,” Mark said before he walked off with his friends. 

Oliver texted Zack, that beer was on the way while he stood there waiting, and after a few minutes Mark returned, holding a beer. 

“Now," Mark said and held out his hand, "the money.” Mark held the beer close to himself, clearly not going to give it up before he had been paid. Oliver quickly pulled out ten dollars and handed it to Mark, who stuffed it away in his pocket before giving the beer to Oliver. 

Just as Oliver were about to thank him, someone called out his name. He looked in the direction of the voice and saw Jake, standing with Casper. They came over to him and he could see Mark slowly retreating.

“What is that?” Jake asked, with a frown, looking at the beer with a nod and a raised eyebrow. Oliver rolled his eyes with a frown and let out an annoyed sigh.

“What? Going to lecture me?” Oliver sneered. Jake sighed and shook his head.

“You aren’t even old enough. How did you…” Jake stopped as if he remembered seeing Mark before he came over. “You got someone else to get it for you,” it wasn’t a question, more like a statement, “do you have any idea how dangerous that is? He could get punished if caught,” Jake sighed and crossed his arms.

“Just stop Jake,” Oliver didn’t have the energy to fight with Jake. “I'm not going to listen to you, I’m leaving,” he said, glaring at Jake then at Casper, furrowing his brow as seeing him pissed him off, but also wondering why Jake was spending his time with him, before Oliver turned around and left to find Zack.

“What took you so long?” Zack asked as he was handed the beer. Oliver had already taken a sip of it on the way, not that he though Zack would notice.

“Well I couldn’t buy beer, so I had to get someone else to do it, then I ran into Jake and Casper,” Oliver explained as he sat down, digging his small zip lock bag out from his pockets, frowning a little as it was the last pill he had on him.

Zack watched him over the rim of his beer, raising his eyebrow by how bold he was taking it in public.

“Jake is hanging out with Casper?” he asked curious before sipping his beer. 

“Apparently, not sure why though, but I hope Jake won’t invite him over, I rather not see him in my house,” Oliver growled annoyed, then sighed and laid back on the grass, not care if he got dirty, putting his arms behind his head as he looked at the sky.

“Shit,” Zack started, “now I get why you…" he trailed off then tried to sound a bit more optimistic, "well, hopefully they just met here at the carnival,” Zack said, trying to lighten the mood, but he knew Oliver didn’t always pop pills outside of his or Zacks home, other than at parties, which meant he was in a bad mood. 

“I fucking hope so!” Oliver cursed before closing his eyes, listening to the noise from the carnival. 

They stayed there in silence for an half an hour before Oliver was brimming with energy and took Zack to try out an amusement, that he knew he could handle and then try some different games before they head home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was Thursday after noon, Oliver was sitting crossed legged on his bed, smoking, while scrolling through social media when he stumbled upon a picture posted by Jake.It was just him and a brown-haired girl, Oliver hadn’t seen before, holding ice coffees, but it wasn’t the photo that caught Olivers attention, but the first comment that showed.

Casper’s name showed on the comment and Oliver frowned. Curious, he went to check on Caspers social media, which were put on public. He scrolled through the pictures but stopped after four pictures when he read the description. 

“Moving back to my hometown, it’s been years since I’ve been back,” it said and Oliver felt a burning rage deep inside of him as he chewed his cheek. 

It was as he feared, Casper hadn’t come for summer vacation but from what Oliver could see on the picture, Casper had started in college in the next town over, by the piece of paper in his hand, which meant he had indeed moved back in town, probably chosen his hometown since the ride to the college from town didn’t take long.
 
Annoyed, but also slightly curious, Oliver decided to look through Caspers pictures. He stopped on a picture with Casper, together with a few other people, all were smiling and looking like they were having fun, which made Oliver frown even more and scrolled through more photos. 

Then he stopped at a picture with Casper, slightly younger, dressed in athletic clothes, holding up a silver medal while grinning with his team, with the description mentioning how good it felt winning the silver medal back in high school and that he had a blast. 

Feeling frustrated and jealous, by seeing Casper grinning and enjoying life, when he didn't feel the same, he closed the app and finished his cigarette, before getting up from the bed and went to his closet, where he looked through it in hope that he still had something, to take his mind off things but he came up empty. He let out a frustrated sigh, before he went back to the bed, lighting up another cigarette and then turn on his PlayStation, waiting for Zack to finish his lessons, so they could hang out and hopefully it would take his mind of Casper.

 
Oliver hadn’t noticed what time it was, until suddenly Zack walked into his room and Oliver almost threw his controller at him. 

“Jesus dude! Don’t just barge in like that,” Oliver complained, trying to calm down his pounding heart as he let out a shaky breath.

“I texted you that I was on my way, didn’t you read it?” Zack asked and shook his head as he entered the room and closed the door behind him, chuckling a little. Oliver picked up his phone and true enough, there were two texts from Zack. He placed his phone on the bed and looked at Zack.

“Sorry dude, I lost track of time,” he said before he placed the controller on the coffee table. 

“Whatever dude, got a smoke?” he asked as he went over to Oliver. Oliver got up from the bed and went over to his desk, where he picked up his pack of cigarettes and shook two out. Zack came over and Oliver handed him one before he opened the window, and they both crawled out of the window and sat down on the roof. Zack pulled out his lighter and lit up their cigarettes, Oliver leaning back on his elbows and looked at the sky.

They both sat in silence while they smoke, Oliver watching the clouds going by while Zack where scrolling through his phone, both of them content to just sit there smoking, until they finished them. 

“So how’s school?” Oliver asked, as he had noticed Zack didn’t seem as talkative as normal. 

“It’s hard being back in school, and it sucks because you aren’t there,” Zack said with a sigh. Oliver smiled a little as he glanced at him.

“Yeah I get it, I find it boring, just playing games and waiting for you,” he replied, slightly teasing which prompted an eye roll but also with a smile from Zack.

“Oh sure, playing video games, sleep as much a s you want when you want with no stress, yeah that seems very bad,” he said sarcastically which made Oliver laugh and Zack following through, but then Zack looked serious, as he stared in the distance.

“Clarissa has been helping me a lot with my homework,” he said after a few seconds. Oliver closed his eyes again, sighing internally but tried not to show his frustrations. He really didn't want to hear about her. 

“Well, that’s nice,” he replied, a little flatly then what he had wanted too.

“Yeah but,” Zack paused which made Oliver open his eyes to look at Zack, as he could feel something was wrong. He was staring at his hands, but not really looking at them, as he thought then he took a long drag of his cigarette and then exhaled the smoke, which drifted off by the wind, before he continued. 

“We had a fight. It was my own fault, I broke a promise we had made, and she got upset,” he sounded upset. Oliver’s eyes immediately moved to Zack’s wrist and looked at the wristband, tightly wrapped around his left wrist and Oliver could just barely see something at the edge, underneath it. 

Whenever Zack felt sad, or guilty, he would cut his wrist, or pick at the scabs of the other scars that was still healing. The raised bump up and down his under arm were clearly visible though whenever he cut a new one, he would cover it. Oliver sat up straight and took a drag of his cigarette before he pulled up his knee and folded his arm over his knee, looking at Zack.

“When did it happen?” he asked, because even though he wasn’t interested in Clarissa, he could see Zack was greatly affected by it. 

“Two days ago, she hasn’t texted me or anything,” he sighed and hugged his knees, resting his chin on top of them.

“Have you apologized?” Oliver asked. 

Zack slumped his shoulders a little. “I did, but she said she needed some time to think,” he buried his faced in his arms. “I think we might be over,” he mumbled but just loud enough for Oliver to hear. Oliver looked at the trees in the horizon, not sure what to say since he didn’t have any experience, but he thought about what to say.

“Maybe saying sorry aren’t enough, she might want you show that you mean it,” he said, not that he was sure, but it was all he could think off.

“What? You mean like show up with a bucket of flowers and apologize?” Zack almost sounded sarcastically, but he looked at Oliver, wanting answers. Oliver shrugged and took a drag of his cigarette, then grounded the last bit.

“I don’t know man, I have never dated before, but as the saying goes, ‘actions speaks more then words’,” he tried to give him an encouraging smile. Zack looked first at Oliver then at his hands. For a few minutes they stayed quiet, then Zack sat up straight.

“I think I will buy her a plushie, then go to her place and talk with her,” he said determined before finishing his cigarette and got up. Oliver looked at him and Zack looked back.

“I’m sorry for bailing like this though,” he said when he hesitated. Oliver smiled and gave him an encouraging nod.

“It’s fine dude, just go, make up with her. We can meet up some other time,” Oliver said. 
Zack looked at him still slightly hesitant, but his eyes soften, and Oliver could see he seemed grateful. He nodded and went to the window.

“Then I’ll see you later,” he said before disappearing through the window. Oliver felt a ping in his heart and let out a sigh before he looked at the sky; the clouds were drifting by slowly. He felt empty, hollow and honestly also lonely. He wondered if he was ever going to experience something like that or if he would end up being left behind and forgotten.
KiddyValentine
Kiddy Valentine

Creator

Oliver might not like Clarissa, but he knows how much she means to Zack and will do what he can to help him!

This is the beginning of a long chapter two! I will post more soon!

#bl #Mature #trauma #drama #sober

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Oliver has long given up achieving anything in his life. With ADHD, bad vision and being deaf on his left ear, he never thought of himself as anything special, and it didn't help that his older brother was the golden child, who aced all his tests and never did anything wrong.

When Oliver saw Casper, someone he hadn't seen for six years but someone he hadn't forgotten, the memories of him and Casper fighting, the constant mockery and bullying, left him with a grudge he couldn't let go off, so seeing him again after so long, those feelings arose once again.

What he didn't know was that meeting Casper again, would change his life around, and his struggle with drugs and alcohol would be the foundation for their friendship, and maybe something more.

Discord if anyone is interested! https://discord.gg/W9BT4cZ9
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Chapter two: Grudges (part 1)

Chapter two: Grudges (part 1)

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