“You don’t look well, Flatty chan,” Momo mentioned, standing behind Emma in line at lunch the next day. “Would you like some of Momo’s Jell-O?”

“I didn’t get much sleep,” Emi muttered. She glanced at the nuclear waste green gelatin product quivering in a bowl on Momo’s tray suspiciously and shook her head. “Uh…what flavor is that?”

“It’s…” Momo glanced down blandly, cocking her head to the side curiously. “It’s green.”

“Thank you for the offer, Moo,” Emi shook her head, ponytail swishing back and forth breezily. “I make it a point to not eat something that looks like it came straight from Chernobyl.”

“Mine’s red!” Asami declared happily, holding her tray out for inspection.

“Yeah, it is!” Emi smiled encouragingly. “What’s it taste like?”

“Ehhh…well…kind of…I don’t know. Maybe dusty-like?” Asami muttered.

“Tastes like despair and unrealized dreams, huh?” Emi glanced at it sadly.

“Now that you mention it…yeah. Kinda,” Asami nodded glumly.

“Cafeteria Jell-O always kinda does,” Emi shrugged. She wasn’t sure how Jell-O could go from a fun and jiggly former animal product closely linked to adolescent joy to a product of misery depending solely on who was making it. However, the transformation, once begun in the kitchen of cafeterias nationwide, could not be stopped. School Jell-O was where childhood went to die.

Emi sat at an empty table by one of the windows overlooking the hill sloping down from the back of the school toward the woods beyond and stared down at her own meal. You’d think for a school filled with rich kids they’d have something more palatial. Or, failing that, something at least palatable. She poked the main dish with her chopsticks, half expecting whatever it was to try to flee from the touch.

“What…uh…what is this?” Emi asked as Momo and Asami sat down, Momo across from her as was the girl’s wont.

“Beef bowl,” Asami replied. “I think.”

“Momo believes that as well,” she nodded for emphasis. Emi bent down slightly, peering at the lunch intently. Well, she decided, it’s in a bowl so I guess that’s half the battle won. Emi decided the sushi served with it would have to suffice, pushing the bowl as far from the sushi as she could without looking like she was.

“Anyway! Are we prepared for this ladies? Are we ready to bring the Flower Appreciation Club to life?” Emi grinned meaningfully at the other two.

“I got the paperwork to fill out!” Asami rummaged through her bag and produced a piece of paper, thrusting it triumphantly into the air.

“Momo created a recruitment statue,” Momo pulled something from a giant paper bag and deposited it in the middle of the table. Emi and Asami stared at it in silence.

“It’s…lovely,” Asami managed.

“Momo designed it after the Goddess Shiva,” She explained. “She has four arms with gardening implements and big boobs.”

“Ah!” Emi nodded, the blob not really lending itself to the explanation, though she did see where the four appendages attached to the main lump now that Momo mentioned it.

“She will be our mascot. She will protect and watch over us,” Momo nodded. Or give us nightmares, Emi added silently. “Her boobs are the most important thing.” Momo poked each of the two formless bumps in turn. “She has large boobs because she is fertile, signifying our club will grow.” Emi blinked at the statue again, not seeing anything remotely like what Momo described.

“And, uh…and what is her name?” Asami asked hesitantly, as if afraid of the answer.

“Garr,” Momo declared reverently.

“Of course,” Emi nodded. “Makes total sense. Anyway! I think Garr’ll be a great addition to the club!” Emi decided it was best not to delve any deeper into whatever occult monstrosity Garr was supposed to be. Some things simply didn’t need to be thought too deeply about.

“What are you looking at, trash?” A girl’s voice ringing out in the cafeteria interrupted them. Emi scowled, searching for the sound of the voice. Finally, she found the source three tables away in the form of a tall girl with expensively coiffed hair standing with her arms crossed glaring down at a girl sitting alone.

“Oh my God,” Emi sighed, shaking her head sadly. “This creature is a walking trope.”

“Hmmm?” Asami glanced up in confusion. Emi nodded her head toward the tall girl and Asami blanched. “Oh no, it’s Haia,”

“She even has minions,” Emi scowled at the three girls arrayed behind the tall girl. “It’s like she jumped right out of a crappy manga.”

“You shouldn’t be in here eating with us,” the girl continued, derision dripping with every word. “Don’t you people have a job to do? I don’t know, maybe, like, hunting and eating stray dogs? You should stick to that.” Emi glanced down at her beef bowl suspiciously. It was beef, right? Emi resisted the urge to sniff it, though she wasn’t sure what dog bowl would smell like and definitely didn’t want to know.

“Look at that dry hair and those split ends! Disgusting!” One of Haia’s minions clicked her tongue disapprovingly. Emi’s scowl deepened and she stood from her chair.

“D-Don’t do it!” Asami pleaded with her.

“Big Butt chan will not like it,” Momo muttered in warning.

“With hair like that you must be thirsty,” Haia grinned wickedly at the girl still seated at the table. The girl’s hands trembled in fear, and she closed her eyes in anticipation of what was to come. “You must be thirsty, trash. It’s ok. The best thing you can do is use milk for strong bones and a shiny coat. Do you want a shiny coat so you can eat the strays in town when they go for the trash cans?”

“P-Please don’t do it!” Asami begged again. “She’s a bully. You d-don’t want to get on her b-bad side!”

“Plushy chan is right,” Momo nodded. “Big Butt chan is a cruel beast.”

“Uhn uh,” Emi shook her head as the taller girl raised the carton of milk with a wicked grin. “I’m a witch of justice. I got to.” Standing to her full height, still a good 15cm shorter than the other girl, Emi strode forward into battle.