Chapter 7

While remembering her first period, Isabelle couldn’t help but recall the problem she had encountered near the end of it. She was on the bed, rubbing her aching stomach, when she heard voices coming from the temple entrance. Isabelle sat up to have a better look at the guests and was horrified when she saw him.

Why is Father Mateo here? Why now?

The uneasiness she felt told her that it couldn’t just be a coincidence. Father Mateo would come to the temple once a month and look her up and down with a disturbing expression on his face. This time, he had visited earlier than usual. She felt sickened at the possibility that it might be because she had her first period.

That’s impossible. What does he have to do with the fact that I am capable of bearing children?

Father Mateo was staying at the imperial palace of House Pilsburg, the ruling imperial family, in the capital. Not surprisingly, he was a loyal supporter of the emperor.

Due to the scarcity of male heirs, House Pilsburg effectively gave the upper hand to House Cardiego.

Isabelle was once given a muddled summary of the imperial family’s predicament. The current emperor, Polsis XI, had no son, so his younger brother was crowned Polsis XII. However, Polsis XII and his wife died shortly after with no heir, and Polsis XI, who had retired, was called back to the throne. An unsettling thought crossed Isabelle’s mind. Perhaps Father Mateo had been waiting for her first period, and that made her feel icky and dirty.

No. Not anyone can carry the emperor’s child. Just because I grew up in the temple and maintained my chastity doesn’t mean I’m suitable for it. Isabelle was grateful that she was not from a noble family where they could sell her to carry on her lineage.

Fortunately, Father Mateo didn’t come to the attic because Sister Maria and the other saints had come up with various excuses to send him away.

Feeling distraught, Isabelle toyed with the gems on her necklace for a long time and did some tricks with her magic before deciding to read a book. She looked around and spotted the book that had caught her attention a few days ago: The Lady’s Nights Are No Longer Lonely.

What did she have to do in order to escape lonely nights? With much enthusiasm and anticipation, she opened the book, and then her jaw dropped. The characters weren’t wearing any clothes. The pages were filled with detailed illustrations of gently entwined human figures. The passionate emotions of men and women who desired each other’s bodies were all incorporated into one book, their words filled with love and hate.

Th-this is why she isn’t lonely at night? At that moment, she became aware of a whole new world.

Isabelle, who had previously perceived love solely as a spiritual concept or as something taught by the goddess Iris, found the introduction to physical love to be nothing short of surprising. Almost immediately, the girl went down to the first floor in some kind of trance, where she found more books with similar covers and content.

For the next week, she fell into a reading frenzy without the saints’ knowledge. She pretended to be sick and locked herself in the attic to read. Then one day, she was sitting on the stairs and reading an adult romance novel called The Knight’s Desperate Persuasion.

When she was halfway done with it, her vision suddenly blurred.

“Huh...?”

She took a nap, thinking it would get better over time, but when she woke up, she couldn’t see anything.

I’m doomed. Only then did Isabelle realize she had Blidaine.

“I definitely chose books that were sanitized, so how did this happen…?!”

In her distress, she let out a scream that made the saints rush over. When they realized what had happened, they sighed in unison, and Isabelle knew—even without sight—that Sister Maria had her head in her hands.

“How come you got Blidaine all of a sudden? Did you read the books that haven’t been disinfected yet?”

“N-no, I was careful. I chose the ones that were already sanitized...”

“Apart from that, there’s no other reason for you to get Blidaine.”

“That’s true, but...”

Sister Maria stated, “Isabelle, this is a temple that serves Iris. You’re being punished for reading such obscene books.”

Isabelle’s embarrassment outweighed her worry about being reprimanded. She thought she was going to die of shame. At that moment, she was grateful that she had the disease because she couldn’t bear to see the saints staring at her as if she were pathetic.

“But you never told me any of this, so I found it interesting...”

None of the saints answered. Isabelle took the medicine they gave her and went back to sleep.

I was just getting to the fun part, Isabelle thought regretfully when she woke up. Just then, there was a knock on the door.

“Isabelle, it’s me. Can I come in? I’ve already asked Sister Maria for permission.”

Isabelle, upon recognizing the visitor by his voice, wished she could crawl into a hole. Lix had come by a couple of days ago, but he was here again.

“Lix, about the other day...”

“I’m over here, dummy.”

Isabelle froze mid-sentence when she heard Lix’s voice from behind her. She still couldn’t see, but she could clearly feel the way he embraced her from behind. His arms were crossed over her stomach. It was an unfamiliar feeling because she had always hugged him from the front.

As Lix held her from behind, Isabelle marveled at how broad he was. He was only a year older than her, but his larger frame made him a better hugger. His hot, heavy breath reflexively gave her goosebumps. To add to this strange feeling, what he said next made her feel even funnier.

“Open your mouth.”

“My mouth?”

“Yes. I brought something for you.”

Isabelle usually ate the food that Lix fed her, so she parted her lips without much doubt. He placed a small fruit in her mouth. When she chewed on it, a sweet and sour flavor tingled on her tongue before melting away like snow. It had a unique texture. Isabelle blinked as she felt a weird sensation. She couldn’t see anything just a moment ago, but now, her vision had been completely restored. Even her throbbing back pain was gone.

She was about to cheer with joy when Lix said in a low voice, “I didn’t know why you were ill. I’m sorry.”

“That’s not something that you should apologize for. It’s understandable that you didn’t know.”

“I thought I knew everything about you. I was confident that I knew you best, even more than Sister Maria who raised you.”

Isabelle glanced at Lix and noticed that his face had reddened. It was evident that the softhearted baby deer was discouraged again.

“No, it’s fine. Thanks to you, my eyesight is back. What fruit is this?”

“You got better after eating that?” he asked incredulously after a short pause, and continued, “That means you didn’t have Blidaine.”

“That’s not the point, Lix. Now that I can see again, there’s something I must do. Do you want to join me?”

Isabelle brought out a copy of It’s All Because I Love You that she had hidden under her blanket. Seeing the book’s scandalous cover, Lix jumped.

“You want to read this with me? But I’m a man.”

“What’s wrong with that? You’re my friend.”

Lix huffed and released her. He seemed more emotional now than when she had been blind.

Isabelle opened the book to the part where she had left off and held it out to Lix. Judging from the way he closed his eyes and backed away, she could tell he really wasn’t interested.

“Are you sure you don’t want to read it? It’s very good.”

“Yes. I don’t even want to look at it. If you’re going to read it, do it by yourself.”

He was genuinely angry now. Isabelle finally let go of Lix. It seemed he was not really interested in romantic relationships between men and women at all, just like he had told Lavi a long time ago.

***

There had been similar events before, but she only became certain that Lix had no sexual drive when they had gone to the valley stream to swim last year. This meant they could maintain a healthy and strong friendship for life.

It happened during the summer when Isabelle was nineteen. The capital, Pilsburg, experienced a series of record-breaking heat waves. People said that the unbearable weather was evidence of Iris abandoning Pilsburg. Even in the Cardiego Duchy, which was more than a four-day carriage journey from the capital, there were occasional reports of casualties caused by the heat.

Elderly people who were accustomed to the cool climate and couldn’t adapt to the hot weather suffered the most. Of course, being young didn’t mean one was immune to the heat. Nineteen-year-old Isabelle endured each day by tying her hair up into a ponytail and fanning the back of her neck. Her normally rosy cheeks became so hot that they felt like they were about to burst.

Lix gazed pityingly at her and asked, “Isabelle, is it really that hot?”

“How come you’re not affected by the heat? I feel like I’m going to collapse because of it.”

Isabelle was about to lie on Lix’s lap, but he stopped her. After he turned fifteen years old, he stopped letting her use him as a pillow, and now that he was twenty, she couldn’t even touch him. Lix’s naturally cold skin would be helpful in this heat, but she wasn’t allowed to feel it anymore.

Disappointed, Isabelle made a suggestion.

“Lix, can we go to the valley later? Are you busy?”

“No... You want me to go with you?”

Before she knew it, his hand was sweeping across her cheek. She put a hand over his and gave him a sly smile.

“Of course. I don’t know why, but Sister Maria always lets me go places when I’m with you.”

When he didn’t say anything back, she took it as a yes.

“Then we’re going to go to the valley today, okay?”

Isabelle sprang to her feet as if the weather had never drained her energy and went to get permission from the saints. Soon after, she reappeared with a picnic basket filled with a blanket, towels, and a bottle of wine they used for worship that she had snuck out.

“I guess there will be a lot of people wherever we go because of the weather.”

“I think we can go this way.”

Isabelle followed Lix, who skillfully guided her along the mountain path. After passing a few creepy alleys, they found what appeared to be a perfect picnic spot. It was late at night, but the moonlight was bright enough to allow her to see through the water. When Isabelle took off her shoes and stepped on the smooth stones, she exclaimed joyfully at the cool sensation.

As expected, he’s familiar with the mountains because he’s a baby deer. I’m glad I decided to help him back then.

She looked at Lix with a satisfied smile. Her childhood friend’s eyes shone like pomegranate seeds under the moonlight. Isabelle did some light stretching before stepping right into the water. Due to the balmy night, it didn’t occur to her that the valley stream would be so cool. Her thin, white summer clothes stuck to her skin, but it was bearable in comparison to the scorching heat.

Her silver hair glistened in the moonlight like the stream in the valley. She kept giggling to herself because she was in a good mood, and each time Lix would gulp and hug the basket tighter as he sat upright on the ground. He seemed to be hiding something.

I think I’m the only one who’s enjoying this. Is Lix afraid of water?

Embarrassed, Isabelle stopped swimming and got out of the water to chat with him. When her upper body emerged from the water, Lix leaped up like a well-trained soldier.

“I’ll get you a towel.”

“It’s in the basket...”

Lix went into the bushes without giving her a single glance. Once again, she was reminded that he had no interest in her.