Tank = The person who voluntarily gets beaten up by creatures, especially by the big boss monsters who would kill the other players in a single swipe. I don’t know what it says about my survival instincts that I’m the one who searches the mobs out, rounds them up and takes the beating while others kill them off...

I know I’m teetering on the edge now, the last third of this boss battle takes everything from all of us, the constant damage cones, the bombs scattered around the room and I’m here, trying to keep the boss, Asterion, as far away from the other players as I can because if he’d turn to them for even a single second... One of his big sweeping attacks on them will be the end of the battle for all of us. It would mean that we’d have to start all over with this boss, the last ten minutes of the battle all for nothing.

For a moment I register that my health is running very low, a sliver in angry red, low enough that a single blow could put me down, but just as I flinch, knowing that this will be the end, the health bar of my character is full again. Oof. I look around the field, try to see the others around Asterion in front of me.

“Dude. Alex.” Troy, our ranger, seems a little too relieved by this save.

“Focus on the battle.” I can’t help it, we’re not done yet, two more attack sequences from Asterion and we’ll have a moment to breathe.

I sidestep an easy frontal cone attack but am back immediately in the right position. It’s not just him who needs to focus, me too. I can’t keep my eyes off the boss or we’ll lose. When Asterion prepares for his next sequence of attacks, having just thrown out room-wide damage, we get a moment to breathe and I flex my fingers.

“How are you doing?” I ask. All of us, apart from the healer we just picked up, are in a group voice chat program, and the three guys, Troy, Aaron and Owen, are all part of my raiding guild.

“The healer keeps a close eye on us and she really knows how to predict where the next attacks will be.” Aaron answers me, but just as he does, Asterion is back into action.

“Good.” I pull Asterion back into the corner and keep him there, not letting him go, not letting him out of my sight or my range. When I check everyone’s health bars I realise that the healer really does keep us all pretty well topped up, enough for almost all of us to withstand at least one attack or accidental misstep.

“You want me to use the final attack?” Owen, our mage, asks.

“Yes. Make this fast and easy, no use letting it drag on for much longer.”

“Okay.”

A blue circle appears around Asterion, the sign of Owen’s final attack. Then there is a huge light and Asterion goes down.

Done. He’s down.

I sit back, stretching my arms and fingers for a moment.

“Alex?” Troy’s voice is urgent. “What did you think of the healer?”

“She’s good.” Okay, maybe more than just good. She’s been on top of the healing the whole dungeon, apart from that short lapse in attention during the boss battle.

“Yeah. She really is.” Troy’s somehow excited.

“So?” What’s Troy’s interest?

“Don’t let her go yet. We’re going to need a healer for this evening and you know that Dylan can’t run.”

“Ah. Right. Of course.” Crap. I’d forgotten about that. We recently had one of the healers from the raid guild leave and the second in line is at... I don’t even know, but he can’t be here tonight.

I reach out for the keyboard, letting my finger fly over the keys.

AlexTheDestroyer: BelleFleur?

BelleFleur: Yes?

AlexTheDestroyer: Ehm. Would you like to do another run with us?

BelleFleur: ??

AlexTheDestroyer: We’d like to try a different dungeon with you and if that goes well... We’ve got a raid tonight that we need a healer for.

BelleFleur: Sure...

BelleFleur: but my gear isn’t up for a raid yet.

Eh? I click on her character and pull up her gear screen. She’s right, she’s going to need at least a few more items before she can join us. It’s simple game mechanics, if your gear isn’t over a certain level yet, they’re not letting you in the door. “Guys. She’s right. She can’t yet.”

“What does she need?” Owen is not only our mage but he’s also one of our gear crafters, specifically for magical classes like mages and healers.

“Two set items at least. Either from this dungeon or with dungeon currency.” It would be too bad if we had to let her go now, she... she seemed to fit right in with us, something that doesn’t happen often. I stand up, start walking around for a moment, then I return to the keyboard.

AlexTheDestroyer: How much time do you have? We start the raid at ten.

BelleFleur: Until six and then from seven or so again.

I check the clock, it’s half past three now. That means we do have a couple of hours... “Guys?”

“Yeah?”

“Can we run her through some Titans?” Titans are only single boss events, but they’re really strong, probably stronger than the boss we just did. On the other hand, they don’t require thirty or forty minutes of dungeon to go through before we get to them.

“Hmmm.” That’s Troy again. “Probably.”

AlexTheDestroyer: How many titans have you done?

BelleFleur: The first three.

Okay. Good enough for our purpose then.

AlexTheDestroyer: We can regroup outside the dungeon and queue to defeat a couple of them.

BelleFleur: Really?

BelleFleur: I don’t want to take you from other stuff, you don’t have to do this…

AlexTheDestroyer: Two birds, one stone. You get the gear you need and we can do a few trial runs with you as our healer.

BelleFleur: Okay.

BelleFleur: Sounds good.

BelleFleur: See you on the outside!

BelleFleur walks to the exit and then disappears.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” I may have said so to BelleFleur, but she’s right. Helping her doesn’t mean that we’ll be able to make tonight’s raiding. Training a new healer this close to our weekly raiding night, and especially this close to the release of the next raid... I’m not sure it’s the best idea.

“Do you want to be able to play tonight?” Troy’s character also leaves the dungeon and we follow him shortly. “And, how often do none of us die in that dungeon? She’s good, just, a little under-geared. Which makes it even more impressive.”

“Yeah. I guess.” He’s right, of course, but just the thought of having to train a new player after we just finally got a full raiding guild together... I don’t know. It’s not the most appealing. At the same time… She was good and she seemed to match my, or our, playing style really well.

When I appear in the middle of the city again, I make my way to the closest gear-repair shop. If we’re going to get our asses kicked by Titans, I’m going to make sure that my gear doesn’t give out on me. A purple message at the bottom of the screen pulls my attention.

BelleFleur: Hi. Is the offer still on?

AlexTheDestroyer: Yes.

I click on her name and invite her to a party, then I invite the guys to that same party, this way we can all queue up for the same event in the group finder at the same time.

BelleFleur: Hi. Thanks for letting me join, and putting up with me.

PathTroying: No problem.

PathTroying: Why aren’t you in a guild?

Oi. I want to say something, but Troy’s right, a player like her generally has a guild, good healers usually don’t wander around alone.

BelleFleur: Not very interested. Just been levelling a lot, not been doing a lot of content that requires a guild.

Right. Makes sense. “Guys, I’m switching from voice chat to some music. I’ll be hearing your voices enough tonight.”

“Yeah. Yeah. Later.” The guys laugh as I disconnect the chat. I turn on my music player and put on some electronic music, the high number of beats per minute will keep me focused.

AlexTheDestroyer: Are you ready?

PathTroying: Ready

BloodyBAaron: Ready

OwenLeFay: Ready

BelleFleur: Ready

I open the group finder window and queue us for the first three Titans. Because we’re a full party, the screen to transport into the area pops up immediately and I click on the accept button. A few seconds later the load screen appears and we’re in the Titan’s arena.

I bounce my leg to the beat of the music, my whole body gearing up to start moving again. There is nothing like a Titan battle to get the blood pumping.

AlexTheDestroyer: You know the mechanics of this one?

BelleFleur: Yes.

AlexTheDestroyer: Good.

I run onto the battlefield as I pull the boss with one of my taunts. The vibrations from the music go through my body, making my fingers and my whole body move to the sound of it. The high beats per minute of the song keep my fingers tap, tap, tapping at the keys.

Around me, light effects, other things moving, it doesn’t matter now, it’s just me, the music and the guy that I need to defeat. I get into a groove, into almost a trance as I can focus on doing my thing, trusting that the others will do exactly the same, that they know what they’re supposed to do and that they’re capable of doing it.

The health bar from the Titan in front of us drops to zero faster than I expect and when I look up, I realise that we actually defeated this guy in a single go. No hiccups, no casualties. A single smooth run and we’re through.

I laugh, standing up for a moment, walking around to make sure I lose some of the nervous energy. If this keeps going like this, this new healer won’t be a problem.

When I return to the computer, the others have already left and there is a message in the chatbox.

BelleFleur: Again?

I leave the battlefield and as soon as I’m back in the city, I queue us up again. So... Wait... This may actually work? We may actually be able to run a raid with a new healer within hours of meeting her?

The next two hours go by really quickly, we’re able to defeat every Titan the game throws at us. We only got wiped, all of us defeated until there wasn’t anyone standing, twice. The first one was my own fault, and the second one was BelleFleur not paying attention to her own positioning for a moment because she was healing Aaron.

BelleFleur: I’ve gotta go. Dinner. I’ll be back in an hour.

She drops out of the party immediately after that and leaves the game. I check the clock and realise it’s ten past six, so she’s probably in a hurry. It’s not until that point that I realise I forgot to add her as a friend. Oh, great, let’s hope she remembers who we are...

I turn the voice chat back on for a moment, right when the guys are laughing really loudly. “What’s going on?”

“Well...” Owen has a hard time not laughing anymore. “Troy was joking that the healer really has the whole flower theme down.”

“Yeah? So?”

“Innocent and stuff. He...” Aaron sighs. “Never mind.”

I shake my head. “You were being gross again.” Really? I leave these guys alone for a moment and they do this.

“Maybe.” Troy laughs.

“It’s that I can actually punish you for that the next time I see you.” Troy goes to the same high school as I do. “So I’ll let you get away with it this time.”

“You would have appreciated the joke too.” Troy tries to defend himself.

“Really?”

“Maybe.”

“Right. Okay, you guys go be gross. I’m getting something to eat.” The guys are generally pretty good, but sometimes they forget that I’m a girl too and they make weird jokes that aren’t really… girl friendly. I know it’s sometimes part of boy-culture, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it and I can still call them out for being asses.

I turn the chat back off and put the headset down. Then I go down the stairs to the kitchen and look in the fridge. It seems like there is food stuff, but I’m not feeling like making anything.

“Alex?” Dad comes into the kitchen too. “What are you having for dinner?”

“Pizza?” I open the freezer and see that we’ve got enough of them.

“Sounds good. Your mom won’t be back until nine, so it’s just the two of us today.” He turns on the oven and sits on a chair, grabbing his tablet to read on. My mom works a lot of long hours as a psychologist at an inpatient centre for people with autism and anxiety related problems, or something like that, and my dad teaches developmental psychology at university. And yes, they totally met at university… It’s totally sappy.

And me? I spend my days playing video games and trying not to fail my biology class.

I walk to the back of the house, where our dog Yukio is trying to cool down in on the tile floor. When he sees me he jumps up, his little legs scrambling to get to me as fast as he can. “You want to play with the ball?” I grab his favourite ball and make my way to the back door, there, as soon as I throw the ball, he’s off.

I sit down on a couple of steps and wait as Yukio brings the ball back. Then I throw it again.