Wiped = When a whole party or raid is killed and nobody can or wants to resurrect them, this also means that the party will have to start the room they were in all over again. This is common during boss battles, both of dungeons and of raids. When most of a party is killed often one of the members will call out “wipe” and members still alive at that time will often wait to be killed off soon after so that the whole party can start together all over again. I hate when this happens, I always feel like such a bad healer for not being able to keep everyone alive.

Seeing the picture Alex sent me, I totally get why she’s not coming back to Elysium soon. I’m tired too, my fingers are hurting, but I also still have all the excitement going through me from doing those runs all day. I thought it would be much scarier than it really was. Which, yeah, a couple of weeks ago I thought the same about running end-game raids at all. But in reality, as soon as we got wiped by a boss a couple of times, we generally knew when different mechanics would hit and that made the next run a little easier. Though... Still... That was so... Eep.

I’m no longer in the voice chat, and the silence is actually nice for the moment. It doesn’t take long for me to get impatient and needing to do something else, though.

I boot the game again, this time focusing instead on getting my gathering skill up, at some point I do hope to get the skill to max level. Or, at least, up high enough that I can use it to exchange items with crafters so that they’ll be able to me better gear and other items. And it’s just really easy and relaxing to do when you’re otherwise exhausted.

I look around the game and grab a guide which explains the fastest way to level this skill up. Then I put a TV series on to watch as I start the grind. Relaxing, simple and I can do this all evening, even with half a brain.

***

I’m nervous as I stand in front of my closet. Jade is sitting on the bed, giving comments on each item that I grab.

“Dress, skirt and shirt or jeans?” I turn to her. “What should I do?”

“What do you like best?”

“All of them?” That’s why I have all of them.

“What are you trying to convey to Alex?”

“Convey?” What the…?

“What do you want her to think when she sees you?”

My cheeks heat up immediately. “I don’t know. I just want to go to dinner with her and see the movie.”

“Sexy? Sweet? Comfy?”

“Ehh. I don’t know...”

Jade sighs, standing up. “You wore a dress last time. So, let’s skip that one.” She looks around in my closet. “That means you’ve got the jeans or a skirt left.”

“Yeah.” I sit back down on the bed, taking Jade’s place. “Still a lot of choice.”

“It will probably be a little cool in the theatres, but it will be hot when you go there.” Jade picks up a few things and then puts them down again. “So, something that’s easy to combine with a jacket of some sort.” She grabs a skirt. “This one.” It’s a light green colour. “And with this top, and then a thin jacket.” She hands me a tight black T-shirt. How does she do this so quickly?

I look at them both. “Are you sure?” It looks a little... plain to me.

“Yes. That t-shirt looks really nice on you. And you love the skirt.” She shrugs. “And the shirt is nice enough to wear as you go out and eat somewhere, no matter how fancy, or not, it is. It’s a good shirt for going out for dinner.”

“Shoes?”

“Boots or sandals. Depends on what you want. Boots give you a bit of an edge, looks cool, and sandals are cuter.” She sits down on the bed too.

“I don’t know...” I sigh. “It’s frustrating. I know I want to see her, that I want to meet her again. But at the same time... I get butterflies in my stomach when I’m near her, I get so nervous.” I let myself drop back. “How do you deal with this?”

“With what? Falling for someone?” Jade lets out a laugh. “You’ve been on dates before. I’ve never seen you so nervous about them.”

“I don’t know if this is a date...” I sigh. “We didn’t talk about that.”

“Would it make a difference if it was a date?”

Would it? “Maybe I’d wear make-up?”

“So, wear it?” She looks my way. “You don’t need to put on like layers and layers, or put on smudge-proof lipstick. But you can still put on a little.”

“I guess.”

“Is it because she’s a girl?”

I close my eyes. Nodding.

“You’re not sure if you’re interested in girls like that?”

“I wish I knew.” I guess I never really considered it, but I also never considered if I wasn’t.

“What about Alex? Do you know if she is?”

“No. I don’t know if she is or isn’t. We didn’t talk about any of that. I don’t even know if she’d be...” A heaviness settles in my stomach. “I don’t even know if I’m just over thinking things. If this is just me. Or if she’s even interested in girls at all... It’s just... It’s confusing. I wish it was simple.”

“Simple, like falling in love with a boy online?”

I push at Jade, which makes her burst out in laughing. “Not fair.”

“I think it is fair. I do think you’re over thinking it. Go have fun. Go eat something nice. Go watch that movie. And if something happens, it happens. If it doesn’t... it doesn’t.”

“You’re being too reasonable now.” I laugh, then I grab the clothes and go to the bathroom, quickly changing. As I step back into the bedroom, I twirl, showing off to Jade. “Now you get to do my make-up.”

She laughs. “Sure. Go sit down.” She grabs my make-up bag, which she easily knows to locate. No wonder, she’s the one who’s given it to me, and most of the stuff in it.

***

It’s a long time since Mom and I cycled somewhere together, but the weather is amazing and it will stay great, and this way I won’t be dependent on bus schedules when I go home. We’re riding in silence for a while, until Mom makes a sound.

“Hm?” I look her way, confused.

“I was thinking... You don’t often make new friends.”

I frown. Yes, I do. “What do you mean?” Because telling my mom ‘no’ in these situations doesn’t always end well.

“Well, you made friends at school, and then you have Jade, but I don’t really see you around other people a lot.” She looks my way for a moment and then looks back at the road.

“I guess I just don’t see them that often, or, at least, not outside of like school or other things.” Mom doesn’t really approve of all the friends that I have, so I tend to just hang out with them online or when I’m somewhere that I met them. Jade is one of the few people that my mom doesn’t seem to be able to intimidate easily, so she comes around to our place regularly and I go to her place or we hang out somewhere else. But I don’t generally meet up with a lot of my friends outside of social occasions that I’m going to anyway.

“Hmm.” She seems to think this over for a moment. “And Alex?”

“What about Alex?” This is why I don’t talk to her much, she always want to know everything, even the stuff I often don’t even know, or want to know.

“What does she do? What is she like?”

“She goes to school, she’s a year older than me, her parents both work, she has a really cute dog and she plays videogames.” Pretty sure that’s all she really needs to know.

“What do her parents do?” Of course... This is why she wants to know. She wants to know that Alex is the ‘right’ type of friend, like Hannah and Sydney are.

“I don’t know. They live in one of the newer neighbourhoods in Grunn, pretty nice houses. I have no idea what they do.” I really don’t, why would Alex and I talk about stuff like that anyway?

“You don’t have to get annoyed.” Apparently, this conversation is now over. Which is fine with me, because we’re just two streets away from the store that Alex and I chose to meet up at. We decided that her seeing my mom would be best if it was somewhere that would be easy to recognise and easy to flee from for us later, shops make a great flee-excuse.

“Mom?” I already feel my heart beat like crazy, thinking of Alex and of the questions she might ask her.

“Yes?”

“Please be nice to her. You’ve already seen her once and she doesn’t need to feel like she’s being interrogated.”

“I don’t do that.” She sighs. “You just sometimes have friends who don’t want to answer questions.”

“Yeah, because not everyone wants to share their whole family history with you when they’re just hanging out with me.”

“I just want you to be safe. You know that, right? It’s just so easy for things to get complicated and I just want what’s best for you.”

Now I feel like crap for saying something. “I know. I know. But I’m not five anymore. I’m sixteen, I can stand up for myself, I can leave a situation or a place if it’s no good and I can save myself. I’m no longer a little girl who you need to pick up from play dates. You’re not depending me to an adult that you need to trust, I’m going somewhere with a friend that I already trust. Their parents’ jobs or living arrangements are none of my or your concern.”

We stop and park our bikes in one of the big bike racks that are located throughout the city center. Mom is quiet for a while and that makes me feel like I may have overstepped some boundaries, then she looks up at me, sighing.

“I guess you’re right.”

“What?” Okay… Didn’t see that coming.

“You’re right. I’m treating you like you’re still a kid, and you’re not anymore. On the one hand, I let you go out partying on the weekend, but on the other hand, I may be a little too involved with your friends.” She sighs. “Just... Do you understand that you meeting up with people you’ve only met online is scary for me? That that worries me? Because people can pretend to be someone totally different.”

“Yes. I get that.” She has no idea how well I get that, after the whole meeting-Alex fiasco. “And I do appreciate you being worried, but just... Can you not interrogate her?”

“I’ll try.” She rolls her eyes at me and I roll my eyes right back, letting out the most dramatic sigh I can put on.

We walk the last bit to the store and I already see Alex waiting in front of it, checking something on her phone, probably playing something or messaging people from the guild. I’ve come to realise that the guild is really important to her, that she does everything for them. It’s something that I really like about her, her passion for the game but also her passion for the guild, her friends.

“Alex!” I quickly walk ahead of my mom for a bit and wave at her as she looks up.

Alex immediately breaks out into a grin. “Hey.” We look awkwardly at each other for a moment, but then she opens her arms a little and I give her a hug.

It’s a sweaty and hot hug, the middle of summer is not really the best time for hugs, but my heart is in my throat as I let her go and I can see a little pink on her cheeks that isn’t from standing in the sun too long. Then she looks behind me. “Hello, Fleur’s Mom. I’m Alex.” She holds out her hand and Mom takes it.

“Hi. How are you doing? Did you get here easily enough?” Mom stands there like it’s the most normal thing in the world, like she’s not talking to someone who makes my heart beat faster...

“Yeah. It’s just two busses. First one from two streets away from my house to Grunn train station and then a bus from there that actually stops right across the square.” She points to the stop on the other side. “Quite simple, actually.”

“That’s good.” Mom nods. “And at home, is that with your parents, or...” She looks expectantly and I groan inwardly.

But Alex doesn’t even miss a beat. “I live with both my parents. My mom is a psychiatrist and my dad is a professor at the university.”

“Oh.” Mom blinks. “That’s nice. Are you going to do that too? Studying at university?”