“Prince Ezra?” a gentle knock came on the door and I sat up quickly, looking around to find that I was still in the castle asleep in what I had discovered to be my overly large bedroom with Celeste who had cuddled up to my arm in the middle of the night.

“I… yes?” I called back, going over to open the door, and found a younger man with bright yellow hair and matching eyes.

“Oh,” he swallowed thickly, and I realized that I had opened the door in simply my underwear, “I apologize,” he immediately turned around, “I brought you a few changes of clothes. We realized that you only had what you traveled here in and managed to tailor some of Leon’s old clothing to fit.”

“Thank you. What’s your name?”

“Antoni.”

“It’s lovely to meet you, Antoni. Who sent you to my room?”

“I’m your steward. My mother was when you were a child. I stepped into the role now and will take care of you and your chamber. Princess Celeste will have my younger sister as her chambermaid. Her name is Morgan.”

“Ah, I take primary care of Celeste and will probably continue to do so, Antoni. But thank you for telling me. Can I have the clothing now?”

“I am… embarrassed, Prince Ezra, and don’t want to make you uncomfortable by seeing you in such a… compromising position. I remember you as a child. Seeing you this way is strange for me.”

“Were we friends?”

“I was too frightened to be your friend. You were the prince and heir to the throne. I was nothing more than the child of a servant. But your family has always been good to mine. I grew up in the castle.”

“Antoni?”

“Yes, Your Highness?”

“Can we be friends now? I feel very alone here. I only remember Robin and Mads. I am remembering my family and other things around here but it’s only been a few days since I came to this place again. I could use a friend. I could use your help.”

“I… of course,” he nodded and reached behind him to hand me the clothing, “breakfast is being served in the dining hall. King Chevalier, Prince Leon, Lady Hortencia, and Madam Peregrine are waiting for you and the princess. Morgan is waiting for Princess Celeste in her chamber. It is the door to my left. She has proper gowns waiting for her. If she chooses to wear clothing that she can be more agile in, we have provided those for her as well.”

“Thank you, Antoni. There is no need to be so formal with me. I was a cook in the Land of Reason before I fell back through a portal to… we really need to come up with a name for this place as a whole.”

“King Chevalier plans to once Prince Zarian is rescued.”

“Ah, that makes sense. Right then. Thank you.”

“Is there anything else you need from me?”

“Not currently, no.”

“I will be waiting out here to guide you to the dining hall. If you can wake and send Princess Celeste to Morgan I would be grateful.”

“I can do that. Are you joining us for breakfast?”

“No. It’s above my station to eat with the royal family.”

“Will you do something for me today?”

“Anything you ask.”

“Take me through the village. I need to remember if I can.”

“Ah. I suppose. I am trained as a guard as well. We can go out after the council meeting. Are we bringing the Princess?”

“If she wants. I leave those kinds of things to her. She has autonomy. I may be her father, but even at almost 5 I want her to make choices for herself.”

“You will make a wise and gentle king, Prince Ezra.”

“I suppose.”

Closing the door, I laid the clothes on a small writing desk in the room and went over to wake Celeste. She stretched slowly, blinking a few times before shooting up excitedly when I explained that her room was ready and she bolted from my room, slamming the door behind her.

So carefree.

I’m glad she feels safe here.

I wish I could but I barely remember.

Dressing in one of the outfits I had been left, all of them the same set of off-white pants in a soft material I couldn’t identify, a nice cotton royal blue tunic with silver adornments, and an ankle-length cape made of silver with blue vines, I sighed when I found a small thin crown sitting on my dressing table.

Am I supposed to wear that?

Father was yesterday.

But Leon wasn’t.

“Antoni?” I called softly and the chamber door opened, “do I wear this too?” I held up the crown.

“Oh absolutely. Yes. Did you not wear one in the Land of Reason?”

“Of course not,” I set the crown on my head and realized that it was closer to a metal headband as it fell along my forehead, fitting my face, “I was a cook. I owned a home. A restaurant. My life was vastly different. Even the one Queen in the Land of Reason was nothing more than a title. She had no power. It was vastly different. Royals, I suppose, are elected by the populace. Not by blood.”

“That sounds awful and confusing,” he gasped quietly and I turned to smile at him.

“It was. Not that I understand this world much better. I was a child when I disappeared.”

“I understand. But you simply have to go with the changes. You have plenty of support and help, my liege. We’ll ensure that you’re ready to truly be the prince and then king.”

“My only focus is regaining my gifts so that we can bring Zari home.”

“Prince Zarian will be home. I know that he will. I have hope.”

“As you should.”

Antoni led me from my chamber, his hands tight behind his back as he walked with an intensely straight posture and I studied him from behind.

“Why are you staring, your highness?” Antoni smiled at me over his shoulder as we reached the bottom of a large flight of stairs.

“I walk very… lazy compared to you. I was curious is all. I apologize.”

“Ah, there’s no need to worry about your movements. Prince Leon lumbers around as if he was a sulking beast. King Chevalier rushes through the castle, his brain scattered regularly over everything he has to handle alone. He would have had you at his side, handling affairs and paperwork. But seeing as you were gone, he’s had to do most things alone. So your posture is fine. It’s far more regal than theirs strangely enough. For someone who spent so long away from us, you carry more of an air as the Prince than your brother does.”

“Are you supposed to gossip about Leon that much?” I whispered, making Antoni laugh.

“Oh he knows what people think about him and he doesn’t care. He is more than happy to be known for his poor manners and terrible attitude.”

“Fair enough.”

Antoni opened a set of doors at the end of the hall, “Presenting Prince Ezra,” he announced and everyone turned to look at me, “oh, and Princess Celeste,” he smiled and I looked down to find Celeste squeezing around me.

She was wearing a beautiful midnight blue dress that came to her ankles, a pair of white riding boots underneath that. On her head was a tiny silver crown covered in stars and someone had taken the time to pin back and add curls to her hair to keep it from her face.

“Oh you look beautiful,” I poked her nose and she squeezed my hand tightly.

“You look like the prince in my book!” Celeste giggled.

“Your father is a prince, Princess,” Antoni nodded, guiding us to our seats and I smiled at Leon who was across from me with Peregrine and Red on either side of him.

“An empty seat?” I gestured to my left.

“Zarian’s,” Leon cleared his throat, “that will be his seat when he is back. We have come to a few decisions regarding the land but we can discuss those at the council meeting. Well, I call it that but it’s just me, you, and father.”

“Hey, Papa?” Celeste reached up and poked my crown, “Why is everyone different?”

“Oh, I was wondering the same thing actually,” I looked at my father who smiled brightly.

“King Chevalier,” he gestured to his crown which was tall and made of gold and I realized that each point was modeled after tiny swords, “the vengeful. Prince Leon,” he gestured to Leon’s crown, a solid black band with minuscule gold lion heads, “the brave. Prince Ezra, the gentle. The vines on your crown are from a melodious berry plant. When the winds blow, the leaves sound as though someone is playing a relaxing melody. They are calming, no different than you had been as a child. Finally, Princess Celeste, the shining. I was told she could do illumination magic. Neither you nor Leon was ever able to do so. Robin explained that it reminded him of the night sky, stars that filled a room. It seemed fitting between her gift and her name. Celeste. Eventually, we will have Princess Hortencia,” he pointed to Red who smiled, “the valiant. Hers shall have a single 8-point star and be made from volcanic stone as it’s red here. And finally Princess Peregrine, the songstress. I have several ideas for hers but haven’t settled on one.”

“And Zari?” I began to eat slowly, the food odd but comforting. The flavors were similar to the Land of Reason but far more intense, blending well.

“Prince Zarian, the wise. He left his crown behind when he was kidnapped. I have it sitting in a cabinet in the throne room. It’s made of pearl and has an oleola bird that settles on his forehead.”

“Oleola?” Celeste looked at Red who smiled.

“They are massive birds who are only out at night and speak in riddles but can guide you on the correct path when you are lost as they are incredibly intelligent and love to help the people of the land.”

“Owl,” I looked at Celeste and she nodded quickly, “in the Land of Reason they’re called Owls. But they can’t speak. Some birds can mimic speech. They’re strange and I never liked them.”

“Parrots!” Celeste laughed.

“What a strange word. Parrot,” Peri tapped her chin softly and I took a moment to study her, knowing that I recognized her from somewhere, her magenta curls and deep indigo eyes itching at the back of my mind, the curviness of her body giving her a far more feminine appearance than I remembered and I froze as soon as I realized why I knew her.

“You,” I narrowed my eyes at Peri and she shrunk a bit in her seat, “you owe me a new Calagon bow.”

“Oh no! Come on, Ez, really,” she huffed, crossing her arms across her chest, “I told you I was sorry!”

“You threw my bow over the cliff because I ate the last piece of bramble pie! I was 9, Peri!”

“I told you it was mine! Mama baked it special for me and you ate it!”

“Papa? You remember Auntie Peri?” Celeste pulled on my sleeve.

“Of course I do. She’s Robin’s older sister. And a pie thief.”

“Now now,” Chevalier laughed, “that was many moons ago. I can ask Anella to bake you a bramble pie, Ezra. Or a sleoloupe tart. I know you like those.”

“Sleoloupe… Hm,” I thought for a moment, taking a bite of what was clearly meant to be a strawberry but tasted like lemon and I nodded, “cantaloupe. But it’s blue.”

“I love cantaloupe!” Celeste smiled, “Sleoloupe is a silly name.”

“So is cantaloupe,” Leon laughed, “you are a wonderful child, Celeste. Has Papa been good to you?”

“Always! Papa is the best Papa in the entire universe,” she nodded excitedly, “are these grapes?” she pointed to some fruit in her bowl.

“Yes,” I nodded, “but they’re called plicedarian here and taste like cotton candy.”

“Is it really food that is triggering your memory?” Red tapped her fingers on the table.

“No,” shaking my head, I took a long sip of tea, “absolutely not. It’s getting to speak with all of you. Being around you. I remember Antoni,” I gestured to him as he moved around the table, refilling drinks and helping Celeste clean her face, “he used to hide when I came down the hallways but would watch Leon and I play, clearly wanting to join us. I remember chasing Peri and Red through the fields with Zari, Red climbing quickly into trees, as agile as a cat. Always ripping her dresses. Mads and Robin hid behind buildings to hold hands when we were little because they thought they were doing something wrong. They weren’t, they just loved each other from the time they were 5. It was cute. I remember Father walking around the castle, a dreadfully sad look on his face for a long time and I realize now you were thinking about Mother,” I looked at Chevalier and he nodded, “I remember sneaking out of the castle to practice archery and Zari would come tumbling over the wall to watch me, his onyx curls at his waist and always full of grass and leaves. We would sit there and watch the moons move across the sky as I picked the leaves out and talk… about the day we would bring Nouvelle and Serce together as one kingdom. Under our rule together. We named all of the children that we would have. That’s where I got the name Celeste from. He had picked it one night when we were watching the stars. I never remembered it was because of Zarian though. It was simply a name that tugged at my mind. So yes. I am slowly regaining my memories. Moment by moment. I don’t know if it means I’m regaining my magic, but I am slowly accepting that I was never meant to be in the Land of Reason. Celeste and I belonged here.”

“We are happy you’ve returned,” Antoni squeezed my shoulder and I smiled up at him, his cheeks bright pink, “I… must go and clean your chamber now. I will meet you at the entry door in two hours. Feel free to explore,” he rushed out of the room and I followed him with my eyes confused.

“Well. I see that never died,” Red snorted, throwing a plicedarian into the air and catching it in her mouth.

“What never died?”

“That man is in love with you. Has been since you were little. If anyone waited for you to come home, it was him.”

“I uh… don’t… like men,” clearing my throat, I went back to my breakfast and Celeste poked me in the side.

“Why are you telling lies, Papa? You like boys! I’ve seen you looking at them!”

“Celeste!”

Chevalier started to laugh, wiping tears away, “Ah I love the honesty of children. Be true to yourself, son. It’s okay to be interested in who you want. Men, women. Multiple partners,” he gestured to Leon, Red, and Peri, “as long as you’re happy.”

“I am so uncomfortable,” I whispered.

“Well get over it. You can be happy here,” Peri reached over and gently squeezed my hand, “truly happy. Finally after so long away.”

“I… I know, Peri.”

“Good.”

I can be happy.

I can be myself.

Who I truly am.

It only took 16 years.