Fragmented memories came back but it all looked like I was looking through a kaleidoscope. Lots of colours paired with smells. One was overwhelming and it was the smell of Abel. Remnants of the wolf’s feelings towards him. I was surprised to find the wolf liking Abel. Usually, the wolf didn’t like anything I liked.

I peeled my eyes open, but it was a struggle. Usually this would be the part where I woke up naked in a forest and had to figure out how to get some clothes and then how to find my way home.

Not this time though. I woke up in my own bed, dressed in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. Someone was softly snoring in my ear too. I looked back over my shoulder to find Abel, sealed to me.

He inhaled in a super cute snort and then opened his eyes. “It’s rude to look at people sleeping.”

I snorted and shook my head. “Not when they look cute.”

“What if I was drooling everywhere. It’d be so embarrassing.”

“More embarrassing than turning into a wolf in the middle of my living room?” I grimaced a little.

“That wasn’t embarrassing at all. He was nice. Pretty demanding though.”

I grimaced in response.

“He ate your steaks.”

“Bastard,” I muttered.

We didn’t talk for a couple of minutes and then it hit me. Abel had seen me naked. No shirt. No trousers. Completely naked. Scars all out there. I clenched my jaw hard before unclenching it again.

“You’ve seen me naked.”

“Yeah,” he said with a low voice. “I got your clothes fast though. And I tried to not look. Closed my eyes when I got your shirt on you.”

I turned around and looked up at him. I bit down on my lip and nodded. “Just… like… Didn’t expect that to be the first time you saw me naked.”

“To be honest, Gael, I didn’t really think about it, you know? I was thinking more about getting you in your clothes and getting you to bed. And cleaning up after the wolf. He made a mess. He likes to pee in corners and that shit was rancid.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m sorry you had to clean up after him. He’s an asshole.”

“He was actually kind of nice. He let me pet him. He likes being scratched on his back.”

“What a copy-cat. I like having my back scratched.”

Abel took that as an invitation to slip his hand under my shirt and running his fingers over my skin.

“He was beautiful,” Abel murmured. I felt the vibrations of his voice on top of my head, where his chin was resting. “I know it wasn’t supposed to happen, but I’m glad it did. I wanted to see the other you.”

“It’s not me,” I whispered.

“I actually think he is. He didn’t attack me, nor did he ruin your house. He even narrowed his eyes at the sofa on the staircase as if it definitely didn’t belong there. He moved the same way as you, too. You know, a little awkwardly, trying to not take up too much space.”

“I don’t move awkwardly,” I said with a pathetic voice. I knew I was awkward in every fibre of my body, and I’d fidget and look awkward.

Abel gently put the palm of his hand against my cheek, getting me to tip my head up. He pressed his lips against mine for a brief second before moving on to kiss my forehead. He gave the best forehead kisses. They were always soft and gentle and so intimate.

“You move awkwardly,” he murmured against my skin.

I snorted and sat up, stretching my arms above my head. “God, I’m always so achy after a full moon. What did he do last night?”

“Nothing really. We chilled out on the floor for the most part and he’d go to the kitchen whenever he wanted a snack.”

I nodded a little and bit down on my lip. It just didn’t sit right with me. This was the worst part of myself. And he had seen it.

I looked at him over my shoulder and he smiled sweetly at me. He had seen the worst and he wasn’t running. He was in my bed, toying with the sheets on my duvet, poking at the dotted patterns in it.

I turned back towards him and got him on his back, swinging a leg over him and sitting down in his lap. His eyes widened, even the black dot widened, almost filling out the white. I bent over and kissed him, my hands on his cheeks. He lifted his hips in response, his hands on my thighs clenching them. He was lifting his head slightly too, to make the kiss deeper and harder.

I pulled back, panting. “Sorry, I just… I’m…”

“You don’t gotta say anything,” he said softly and lifted his head again, kissing me. His hands ran up under my shorts, ending on my butt.

I was relieved I didn’t have to explain. Either Abel knew or he didn’t care what had prompted me to do this. I really didn’t have to explain a whole lot of things to him, now that I thought about it. He let me tell things in my own time, never demanding information out of me, which only made me actually want to tell him about myself, my fears, my goals… I wanted to tell this boy everything and I didn’t feel so bad about him seeing my chest anymore. It wasn’t like I was about to throw caution to the wind alongside my shirt, but the knot in my stomach had loosened a little.

Abel was the first one to actually support me and respect me at the same time. He wasn’t one of those who were so desperate to support me, they’d eventually force me to tell them everything about me, so they could help me through my trauma. That’s where the respect came in. He respected it took time for me to open up and I wasn’t sure if he knew that some things might never get fully explained – or if he even cared. He just wanted to support me in the way I needed. Not in the way he needed to support me in.

And that’s why I was kissing him right now. Because I didn’t know how to tell him all these things and it was so much easier to just show him some affection instead. It was a language I spoke much better than… Actual human language with words.