"Well, that wasn't so bad," Kyson said as he drove me home.

"I think she appreciated it, you did the right thing," I confirmed to him. 

He parked and got out my knife.

"You need some now?"

I paused to think a moment even though my head ached and thirst was calling out.

"I'm starting to run behind on homework, and we have a test. I better wait till tomorrow."

"That's okay to do?"

"I'm sure I could make it till then."

I also wanted to spend some time with my aunt while in my right mind.

"Okay then… Do I kiss you goodbye now?"

His question froze me. What was I to say? I didn't want him to, but could I say no?

When I didn't answer, he bluntly turned away. "Never mind. I'll see you tomorrow."

~*~

The next morning, my head was not happy with me. I guess it was only my survival instincts trying to keep me alive. The dizziness only grew as I walked to school. It was too late now. I would just have to try to survive the day without blood.

Kyson didn't show himself that morning. Had he felt rejected from last night? I almost felt bad, but it was relieving at the same time to not have to be around him for now.

My brain screamed out as I tried to concentrate in class. Donavon being right in front of me didn't help either.

I finally made it to lunch and found Kyson sitting alone again. His scent started to overpower everything else.

"Kyson…I hope you understand, but I don't think it would be a good idea for me to sit with you today. It makes it harder when I'm low on blood."

"Eh okay, whatever."

Feeling a little bad, I turned to find my own table. I noticed Donavon soon noticing me being apart from Kyson. He approached Kyson and talked to him. Seriousness was taped on both their faces. I guessed that Donavon was just making sure that Kyson hadn't abandoned me or something.

I could tell that Donavon was keeping an extra eye on me during our last class. His apparent care was only more distracting. 

My head thrashed around pain and even sitting up was difficult, but I still forced my focus on my test. I knew my aunt wanted me to finish high school, and I wanted to end well if I could help it even though I knew I would never go on to college or a career.

Struggling just to walk, I handed my papers in and exited the room as my vision started to blur. Fainting right now would not be a good thing. Leaning against the wall, I tried to breathe slowly as I could feel my life draining away. Where was Kyson?

To no surprise, Donavon came up behind me. He put hands on my arms when I almost fell.

"Avery! Are you alright? Avery?"

I couldn't answer when blackness started to block out my sight. His arms lifted me up, and I wasn't aware of much else after that.

When I opened my eyes again, we were outside by Kyson's car. Still in Donavon's arms, I relaxed my head into his chest and for a moment forgot about all else.

"Hurry, Kyson!"

"Hold on… Here it is."

Kyson's wrist, dripping with blood, was shoved into my face. For a moment I didn't take it but simply looked up into Donavon's eyes. Even though being near death, it was a warm moment. These were the arms I wanted to stay in. But then the truth reminded me that it couldn't be and was followed by a piercing burden.  

"Come on, Avery, drink," Donavon pleaded me on.

I finally drank and entered overwhelming peace and joy. Once I had a good share of blood, I was set on my own feet.

"Sorry, man, I didn't know this would happen," I heard Kyson say.

They helped me take a seat in the car as I simply kept a blank smile. The two guys stood around outside the open car door.

"She's alright now, that's what matters," Donavon said back.

"She's still yours dude… She always will be."

Silence…

"No… You know she has to be with you."

"She doesn't even like me. I know she doesn't. I'm just a guy that's forced to be her boyfriend, but that can't really be her boyfriend. I just feel like a thief that takes candy from a baby, but at the same time, I would be a jerk if I didn't. Dude, you have no idea how much this is messing with me."

"You're not the only one."

"And on top of that, it feels like dating two different people. At least she likes me when she's blood drunk. Or at least acts like it."

More silence…

Kyson went on. "I kind of got mad at her earlier today, but now I feel really bad about it. Not so much at her just how things are. Is it such a bad thing to want to be loved?"

"It would be natural, but I think we should focus more on loving others than being loved."

"Avery's really nice, and she does make me want to be a better person, but we just don't share anything in common. I want to care about her, but I'm not sure how. I am trying, I really am."

"Trust me, I would take your place if I could."

"Yeah, you're crazy about her man, I can tell."

"I just want what's best for her so…if you do happen to fall in love with her…it's…alright. You don't have to feel bad. You might as well win her affections. It would make it easier for both of you."

~*~

The entire conversation came back to me upon waking the next morning with a stab to my chest. I hadn't realized it at the moment, but I recalled the heavy burden in both of the guys' voices—especially the last thing Donavon said…  

How could I ever fall in love with Kyson when Donavon's love was so unwavering and deep? It had been days since I had cried, but now tears freely flooded my face.

I knew it only made it worse, but my mind relived all the moments I had shared with Donavon from first meeting, to talking at the swings, the car rides, him holding my hand for the first time, and when I was in his arms yesterday. Each memory only stabbed harder. But the worst thing was that I knew he also felt pain, and there was nothing I could do about it even though I was the cause.

I let myself cry for a while but was finally able to calm myself down. And what about Kyson? I wasn't making his life easier either. But what I wasn't sure about was the whole effects of the blood, and when they were supposed to last longer, and after if I would ever be normal again, even for a time.

I got up and found my aunt in the kitchen. She probably could tell I had been crying and gave me a hug.

"I'm hoping this will all get easier someday… When is total change supposed to happen?" I asked.

"Talking to the Erythro-vardiologist, it sounds like it can be quite a complicated matter. She even mentioned a case where a girl had lived for years where she was only affected by the blood for an hour or two at a time."

This new fact only made things more complicated. What if I had to live in cycles forever? Was I supposed to try to love Kyson?

"I don't know what to do," I stated, and told my aunt about everything and what I heard the guys say yesterday. However, she didn't have any advice, only words of sympathy.

Still totally confused, I headed out for school. To my surprise, Kyson was waiting right outside the door holding flowers.

"Uh, here," he said, handing them to me. "I wanted to apologize for acting like an emo baby yesterday."

"It's alright," I answered, feelings all mixed up.

"I thought I could drive you to school."

"…Okay."

I put the fancy flowers inside and then got inside Kyson's car. For a moment, I asked myself why the seats weren't black anymore, then remembered that I wasn't in Donavon's car.

"Look…I know you're not in love with me, and I'm not in love with you…but I'm willing to give it a shot if you are."

His words froze me. What was I to say? I didn't want to say anything. I wanted to hide in a cave and forget about the world.

Donavon's last words came to me again: "it would be easier for both of you." And then I remembered that he had been looking at me when he had said that. But could I even force myself to love another? Perhaps I couldn't force feelings but at least maybe try to love in actions? 

I then remembered that I hadn't said anything back to Kyson's comment and realized that we were now sitting in the parking lot at school. Kyson's head hung low. He was probably just as lost as I was. I wanted to comfort him, but how?

"Thanks for the ride. I guess I should thank you for everything else as well."

"Eh… It's nothing," he said, still not looking at me.

"No, it's actually a big deal… I would die without you."

"Yeah, and wouldn't any guy want to hear that from his girl. But it's not like you have a choice. I just wish you could be with who you actually cared about."

"I do…care about you."

He finally looked at me.

"You would probably be the first then."

I let my eyes linger into his for a while, though it didn't feel like home. We finally parted ways and headed to class.

Donavon never once looked at me that day. If only I was as strong.