River

That went well.

There were so many words out of my sister's mouth that I could barely keep up with everything she was saying. She was not happy with me.

But she didn't need to remind me that everyone present at the time could smell my desire [for Felix] or expose my locker room incident. At least, Felix has been a gentleman about it. If she knows, he definitely knows it too. He was there, unlike my sister who heard from her mate. Micah and his big mouth… *grunts in annoyance*

And even if Felix didn't know then, he definitely knows now. Fuck my life!

Tisha kept spitting truths left and right and I had nowhere to hide from it. That was a lot to take in. So many facts to process at once. Here I thought I was doing a good job hiding from my supposed mate, it turns out I can’t fool biology.

On the flip side, it was actually the least of my problems.

For one, she was right. I have been lusting for him. Even though I don't particularly understand the phenomenon myself. I never even liked boys before him.

But the worst of all were the dreams. They were relentless. Out of the last 5 weeks, I have been dreaming with Felix for about 30 days straight. Thirty fucking days.

Not to mention, I can't get him off of my mind. I can't catch a break neither awake nor asleep. If this was a game of catch, I wouldn’t stand a chance. I can’t exactly hide from a Goddess powerful enough to pair all the werewolves in the entire world.

I don't know how Tisha is handling her mating though she's already 18. But then again, I guess the more you deny it the worse it gets, which is exactly how sexuality works. If you don't live your truth, you're gonna get drowned out in it.

And I have been drowning. Deep and fast.

In the coming days after that revelation, I still wasn't saying anything to anybody.

I kept to myself, trying to reel it in. But I couldn't anymore. I was about to burst. And it's only November, imagine when February comes. That’s when Felix turns 18 and the mate revelation takes place.

I’m not going to lie, at this point, I find it very unlikely that he is mistaken about him being my mate. I hate to acknowledge it, I really do. But why would I be dreaming about a boy who just so happens to have dreamed of me, even before we knew each other? *sigh*

It's Friday night. I am having dinner with my parents and Tisha. Greg is coming by later to spend the weekend with us. It is going to be his first weekend away from the pack house and with his original family. My parents are beaming with joy over his presence here.

I guess I saw a window and I took the chance. This is as good a time as any to drop this bomb on them.

"Mom, dad, I don't know how else to say this, so here it is: I found out I'm mated to a werewolf." I blurted, just after we had finished eating dinner. Tisha shot her eyebrows up. Mom and dad gasped in shock.

"Really, son? Who is she? She found you at school? You're not even 18 yet!" Dad asked me, intrigued by this. Mom was baffled by my revelation.

"Yes, he did find me at school. It's a guy." I informed them in a very low tone, but loud enough for them to hear me. My voice was already hoarse. I didn’t want to come out to them, if that’s even what I am doing tonight.

Mom and dad gasped so hard in utter shock, I thought they were going to pass out hearing this news. Mostly my dad, who was beside himself horrified by this discovery.

"Are you sure, son? Is he really a werewolf? Did you see his eyes [turning] pitch black?" Mom asked me after a moment of shocking silence.

"Yes, I am sure mom. No, I didn't see the eyes turning dark. He is not 18 yet either." I admitted uncomfortably and they laughed at my words as if I were telling them a joke.

"Then he is not your mate, son! It's impossible for any werewolf to know their mate before they turn 18. He is probably just pranking you!" Mom told me, dismissively. Tisha was speechless at her rhetoric. I was getting mad at their disbelief.

"Mom, this is NOT a goddamn prank! Do you seriously think I would tell you this unless I was absolutely sure?" I insisted in an angry tone, standing up from the table.

"Son, but you're not even gay! You have always pursued girls since you were like 12 years old!" Dad shouted at me, as if he was breaking the news to me. I’m getting angrier by the second.

"Yes dad, I'm aware of that. But it's not my choice. Apparently, there's a Goddess and She doesn't care about ‘silly things’ like if you're gay or straight when she pairs you off." I rebuked, pissed off at this whole thing. Yes, I air quoted silly things.

"It's a misunderstanding. It has to be! How can he know you are his mate if he is not even 18?" Mom retorted, refusing to acknowledge the truth, which only worked to make my dad incredulous as well. Tisha was mortified by their refusal to believe me.

"Because the Moon Goddess showed him it was me even before I arrived at school." I informed her in a raised tone, hands up in despair. This was going so much worse than I ever thought it could.

"Who is this kid? Why would the Goddess show him in advance who his mate is? That doesn't make any sense!" Mom questioned, still refusing to believe me. Dad was looking at me like I was lying or at the very least the most gullible boy in the world.

"It does if he is the son of the Alpha. And he needs to know who his mate is in advance of his ascension." I replied and it was like a bomb went off inside my house.

Dad was floored by this information. Mom's mouth was agape in utter shock. It took them a few minutes to catch their breath. Tisha already knew all of this, so she is keeping to herself. Until now.

"Did you know about this, Tisha?" Mom quizzed her, raising her eyebrow in suspicion.

"Yes, of course I knew. It's not exactly a secret among the Huntingtons. Plus, I'm mated to Felix's best friend." She replied with a sassy attitude.

"I can't believe this! My son, the Luna of the pack!" Mom gasped in shock, finally realizing what I had been trying to tell her. She was in awe of this fact, almost proud of me. Though if she really were, she hid it well.

"Are you serious? Are you sure you are not confused about this whole thing?" Dad insisted in disbelief. I flipped out.

"Yes dad, I am serious. Why do you think I've been miserable for more than a month? This fucking Goddess put him in my head and I can't shake him off! I think of him night and day. Every single day. And with each day the bond gets only stronger!" I yelled at him. I was livid at this point.

"Can't you reject him?" Dad said after a while, completely baffled by this revelation.

"Are you fucking kidding me?! I can barely breathe right now, how do you think I'm going to feel in February? Do you want me to die from the heart ache?" I barked at him. I was possessed by anger. I almost flipped the dinner table. I began pacing inside the kitchen as my parents tried to make sense of this incredible news.

"OK, calm down, son. No one wants you to die. Plus, you can't reject him or he won't become Alpha." Mom stated, trying to de-escalate the conflictual situation.

"Not you too! I know this, all right? I don't want to be with him! I want to reject him with all my might! I don't want to be with any man! But I feel like I'm going to die If I don’t stand by his side." I screamed, a state of panic washing me over.

Truth is this is the last thing I have ever wanted, especially being at odds with my parents. My father looks pained, disgusted at me. It feels like I’m no longer his son and it is killing me on the inside.

He was looking shocked. So was mom. Even Tisha was reeling from this, but she was troubled by my reaction, not the news in itself. That she already knew.

"I get it, son. I do. Calm down. You can relax now, I understand." Mom said in a calming manner after a moment of eerie silence.

"Dad, are you okay?" I asked him after another silent moment. He was unrecognizable to me at this moment.

"No, I'm not okay! I’m not okay about any of this! I think it's bullshit! How can you be mated to a guy? I don't believe this, I'm sorry!" Dad refused to accept it. But now I just don't have any strength left to fight him on this.

"Yeah, well. Welcome to the club!" I said, sounding defeated. Then I walked slowly and silently to my bedroom.

I closed the door with a loud bang and dropped on my bed. I cried. Very hard. For the longest time. I just couldn't accept it. Not this! I just couldn't!

I can’t deal with my dad’s rejection. I am already rejecting myself as it is. I refuse to accept this reality. I just can’t wrap my head around it. Why me? No, this is not going to happen. *sobbing*

Felix

Despite the recent events, I actually had a peaceful Saturday.

I spent time with Micah, Greg, and I even went for a run with my brother and dad earlier today. It was awesome to have this time with them, though mainly with my father. I love father and son(s) wolf runs.

Sure, my mate may not be talking to me — for more than a month now — but it is what it is. I can't change his mind or make him accept me. I can only work on myself.

So, yeah. It has been a great day so far. And I needed to have a good day after all this commotion with River. I promised him time and I have to respect his wishes, no matter how painful it can be for me.

"Son, is your mate still not talking to you?" Dad asked me during dinner in the dining hall of the pack house.

"No, dad, he isn't. Even after more than a month, I'm still waiting for him to come to me." I replied in a gloomy tone.

"Hang in there, son, he'll come around." He tried to console me.

"Thanks, dad. Hopefully." I told him with a weak smile. I’m not feeling very hopeful, to be honest.

"Humans... they are so difficult. If my mate is not a werewolf, I don't want her." Nate said, pouting. I laughed at his proposition.

"If only it were that easy, brother. If only..." I sighed with a patronizing glance at him.

"I don't need a mate, I'm not the ascending Alpha. I can reject her." Nate declared, looking determined. We all laughed at him.

"Nate, if it's difficult for a human to reject the mate bond, can you imagine a werewolf? You can't reject her or you won't be able to function!" I explained to him, though he should have known this by now. We were raised by the same parents, though I’m already experiencing some of these very aspects of mating.

He frowned at my condescending tone, but understood the overall message. We definitely can’t fight the Moon Goddess.

Later, I played video games with my brother and Greg for a while before he had to go to the Westbrook’s for the weekend. My sister was away with her girl friends.

Even my dad popped by at one time to play with his boys. It was a nice family gathering.

Unfortunately, when it was time for me to sleep, I didn't have Greg in my bed anymore. After I rejected him that day, he hasn't come by ever since. I respected it, of course, but I've missed him.

Especially now that I'm completely alone, without either River or Greg. This is sad.

"Are you okay, River?"

"No, I'm not. I'm sorry but I can't be your mate!" He replied with a saddened tone.

"It's okay, you'll come around." I told him in a hopeful voice.

"No, I won't. I'm sorry. I'm going away to never return!" He declared in a somber, ominous tone.

"What? What do you mean by that?" I gasped in shock at hearing these words from him.

"I'm sorry, Felix! I can't take this anymore! Goodbye forever!" He spoke sorrowfully as his image faded away from my presence. Immediately, I started crying over his sudden departure.

I woke up in the middle of the night, feeling incredibly scared and crying for no apparent reason.

I am very frightened. I am scared for his life. I can't stop the tears from falling down my face as if my mate had just told me he was gone… and never returning. *sobs*

I screamed, but there was no one there to listen. I took my intercom attached to the bedroom's wall and dialed my mom's room [the Alpha suite]. When she picked it up, she sounded annoyed at me. Yeah, she already knew who was calling from the ID.

"Son, what is it? It's 3 a.m. in the morning!" She asked through the intercom, sounding sleepy.

"Mom, I think something bad is happening to River!" I said through tears.

"What do you mean? What's happening to him?" She asked in a worried tone.

"I don't know exactly, but I just had a horrible nightmare. And I can't stop crying, I'm so scared. I'm frightened that if I don't act now I'm not gonna have a mate in the morning…" I replied with the most gut wrenching sorrow I have felt in my entire life.

At this, she dropped the phone and rushed to my bedroom.

She swung open the door and took a good look at my state, then she came to hug me. Dad was with her. I'm inconsolable.

"Call your mom, John! Tell her to meet us at River's address. I think something has happened to him!" Mom told dad, worried sick about me [and him].

She lifted me up and we walked straight out of the house, still in pajamas.

She called the gate from her cell phone and had a warrior get in her car and drive to the pack house to pick us up. Someone is always on duty at her service, protecting us.

Dad and mom entered the car as soon as he parked the car in front of the pack house. She told the warrior to drive to the Westbrook's residence. She told him their address.

"Call Greg, John, see if he answers?" Mom asked dad, who was sitting in the back seat with her and me. He tried. He wasn't picking up.

In less than 15 minutes, we're banging at the Westbrook's door.

In 2 minutes, Officer Westbrook answered it worriedly, gun in hand at the disturbance.

"I'm sorry to disturb you at this hour. Can you please check on River? We think something may have happened to him." Mom told him, looking directly in his eyes, ignoring the gun threat.

At this, both of his parents darted in the direction of his room. We entered the house, since we figured they wouldn't mind. We closed the door they had left open.

I followed their scent to where River’s bedroom was and saw that they couldn't enter it.

"It's locked! He's not responding to our calls!" Mr. Westbrook said, exasperated.

He took some space and kicked the door open.

At this, Greg and Tisha came out to see what was happening. They looked scared at the troubling scene.

When Mr. Westbrook opened the door, the image I saw caused me to fall to the floor in desperation. Greg came to my aid immediately. Tisha started crying desperately. Mrs. Westbrook came to her son's help.

River was found bleeding through his wrists, unconscious and unresponsive.

A|N: BOOM!

It has broken my heart to write this chapter. I really do mean it.

Next is aptly called “Cry me a River”. Yes, there’ll be a lot of crying indeed.

Lord knows I cried writing this next chapter. This is the first time this happens in any of my books.

Love,

Léo.