Jordan and Hawk were at the grill making breakfast when Jordan brought up the subject he had been avoiding for more than four years, something he instinctively knew needed to be talked about.
“You tried to help him,” he said quietly, glancing up at Hawk who kept his eyes on the bacon. “Didn’t you?”
Hawk gulped and nodded slowly. “He wouldn’t let me. He saw what I was and was terrified. I begged him to let me save him but he wouldn’t…” He flipped a pancake. “If it helps at all, I killed the guys that did it.”
Jordan watched him a moment before turning back to the eggs he was frying. “It does.” They were silent for a short while, absently listening to their individual partners talking and laughing nearby. “I forgave you a long time ago, by the way. That didn’t mean I wasn’t still angry about it. You guys lied to me for over a year.”
Hawk’s grip tightened on the spatula. “Jordan—”
“It doesn’t matter now, Hawk. I understand now why you kept me out of it.” He turned a small smile on him, his blue eyes shining. “You were protecting your little brother.”
Hawk’s head snapped quickly to Jordan, stunned.
“I can’t say I know exactly what happened yesterday,” Jordan said. “But I know that much.” He shook his head, running a hand through his short-cropped brown hair. “So weird, right? It’s like, I knew we were always meant to have that connection, that we’ve been family from the beginning. Just like you and Hero have always been meant to be.” He smiled. “Just like I’ve always been meant for Elaine.”
Hawk chuckled. “Hero said that your pocket of the Veil was connected to ours when our souls were created. This was always meant to happen. Gavin’s death is what started the chain of reactions that got us here. I miss him, and I still feel guilty as hell for what happened, but Hero has a point.”
Jordan grabbed a plate and spooned the scrambled eggs onto it. “Well, you can stop feeling that way, my dude. You didn’t cause his death, and you’re not the one that killed him. Also, did you ever think it was the fact he was so loaded that he was more terrified of dying than he was of you?”
“Then why wouldn’t he let me save him?”
Jordan shrugged. “Given how you were back then, would you have saved you?”
Hawk had no response. He pushed around a pancake he knew was done before flipping it over and putting it on a plate Jordan handed him. “No,” he said finally. “I wouldn’t have saved me either.”
“I guess that’s the answer you needed, then.” Jordan punched him lightly on the arm and took the pancake plate from Hawk with a wink. “C’mon, I heard Elaine’s stomach growling from here.” Hawk laughed and followed him over to the table with the bacon.
“Finally!” Elaine said, jumping out of her chair. “I’m starving and you guys are driving me crazy with all these delicious smells over here.”
Hero, Jordan, and Elaine loaded up their plates and headed back to their seats while Hawk leaned up against his truck, arms and ankles crossed.
“You’re not gonna eat?” Elaine said, her mouth full of pancake.
Hawk shook his head. “I don’t actually eat human food all that much. I just did it to not look weird.”
“But you can eat it if you wanted to?” Jordan said.
Hawk shrugged. “It doesn’t hurt me if that’s what you’re asking. But it doesn’t help me, either.”
“So, what do you eat?” Elaine asked. She looked to Hero who gave her a crooked grin and glanced at her sideways, tilting his head slightly. Her eyes went wide when she saw the marks on his neck and she looked up at Hawk who smiled wide, his fangs visible.
“I eat people, Elaine. Hero’s blood keeps me going, but I’ve only really drank from him a couple of times.” His smile faded and he looked off to the side. “It’s been a few months since I’ve had a real meal, though.”
Elaine and Jordan exchanged a look and Jordan shrugged.
“It’s nothing for you guys to worry about,” Hawk said. “If anything, I don’t want either of you getting involved in that part of my life. It’s the worst part of who I am and you don’t need to be exposed to it.”
“What about Hero?” Jordan asked.
Both Hawk and Hero looked visibly uncomfortable as they exchanged a look. “Um,” Hawk said, rubbing the back of his neck. “So, the last time I got a meal was before we were actually together. I didn’t know it at the time, but when I changed, I subconsciously disconnected our link and he almost went crazy because of it. I was too lost in my own instincts to even notice.”
Hero pushed the remains of his eggs around his plate, keeping his eyes down. He hadn’t known until recently that was why he had felt so lost and disconnected that night their connection was first established. When Hawk had told him the truth about what happened, Hero felt physically ill for the first time. It wasn’t because Hawk had actually eaten a person, which was awful enough to think about, it was because the possibility their connection could be broken at all was a painful reality and it was one he couldn’t live with.
He made Hawk swear that if he were to ever hunt again, he wouldn’t sever the link. Instead, he would use a much more reinforced shield. Back then, Hawk had thought the disconnect happened because he had been in his demon form. After the earthquake, he knew that hadn’t been the case. Even then, subconsciously he was trying to protect Hero from the reality of who he was and didn’t want him to experience that horror. Hawk still felt a deep ache in his core for what he put Hero through. It rested there along with the guilt he still held for attacking him with his black cloud of anger and hatred. While it was better controlled, it didn’t mean Hawk forgot about what he had done.
“So, you keep that from him, too?” Elaine asked.
“I have to,” Hawk said. Nothing more needed to be said on the matter. Hero loved Hawk, everyone knew that; but there were some things about him Hero didn’t need to be a part of. Hawk was a demon, Hero accepted that. He also accepted the things Hawk had to do in order to maintain himself and his natural instincts. That didn’t mean he had to like it. Especially when he would still have to suffer in one way or another because of it. Hawk knew all of this and was just as uncomfortable. Yet, he had to protect Hero, and if that meant risking him having a meltdown, then that’s what he had to do.
Elaine sat back and frowned, the wheels in her mind turning behind her eyes. Jordan seemed to be on the same mental path because he folded his arms and said, “I gotcha.”
Hero and Hawk looked at him, confused.
“When you hunt again, leave Hero with us,” Elaine said. She smiled at her best friend. “We’ll get you through whatever happens.”
Hero returned her smile and his shoulders relaxed. “Thanks,” he said.
“Now, can we stop with all the heavy talk?” she said with a laugh. “We’re supposed to be having fun before we have to go back to the real world tomorrow.”
Hawk laughed. “Yeah, I think I’ve brought the mood down enough for one lifetime.”
Jordan laughed. “I wouldn’t say that, but it has been pretty crazy since last night. Time to get back to the reason we came here to begin with. When is this thing supposed to happen?”
Hero stood and took everyone’s plates and returned them to the table. “About three this afternoon, I think they said.”
“Gives us plenty of time to do whatever we want before then,” Hawk said. “Did we still want to hit that trail we were talking about?”
Jordan nodded. “It shouldn’t be too intense, right?”
“I don’t think so. What is it, three miles to the top?”
“The top?” Elaine said. She had joined Hero to clear away the breakfast mess, throwing the paper plates away in the nearby trash can that was provided in every campsite. She exchanged a glance with Hero who shrugged. He’d never been here before, so he was as clueless as she was.
“Yeah, there’s a trail that can take us to the top of this mountain,” Hawk said. “We’re already pretty far up so it won’t take us long, less than two hours if the trail is clear.”
“Think we’ll run into any people on the way up?” Jordan asked as they walked over to their trucks to grab their hiking gear.
“We shouldn’t,” Hawk said, grabbing his and Hero’s backpacks out of the truck bed, handing Hero his. “There are at least a dozen or so people already on the mountain, but none on our trail.”
“How can you tell?” Elaine asked as she shouldered her own small pack.
Hero tapped the side of his nose, grinning.
Elaine giggled. “Is your sense of smell really that good?”
Hawk shrugged. “All my senses are more acute than a human’s.” He bopped her playfully on the top of her head. “I’m a useful tool to have.” He winked as she laughed.
Hero rolled his eyes as he fell in step with his boyfriend, Jordan and Elaine directly behind them as they headed up the trail that led to the top of the mountain.
Just as Hawk had said, it took them about two hours to make it up. Jordan was initially worried about Elaine going too hard because of her pregnancy, but she assured him she was fine. She’d read about women who were further along than herself that had taken even more intense trails than the one they were on now.
“I swear, sometimes you worry far too much about me,” she said, squeezing Jordan's hand.
“Can you blame me?” he asked, kissing her on the side of her head.
Hawk and Hero exchanged a look and chuckled. How many times had they had a similar conversation?
The trail wound its way through dense foliage and across an open meadow full of purple and blue wildflowers. Elaine insisted on picking some and Hero helped wind some into her long ponytail as they walked. Hawk surreptitiously tucked one blue flower into the zipper pull of one of Hero’s backpack pockets. At one point, Hero gestured just ahead of them to where a family of foxes were crouched, watching the strangers pass by them. Elaine squealed with admiration and Hero pulled out his phone to take a picture. Jordan did the same, moving up next to Hawk to get a picture of them together.
The four of them all took several photos of themselves, the group, and their beautiful surroundings. Jordan managed to get a candid shot of Hawk and Hero leaning up against a tree, Hawk holding Hero from behind, his chin resting on Hero’s shoulder as they took a short rest to drink some water and for Elaine to rest her feet on a large boulder. He didn’t know what they were saying to each other, but the smile they shared was too beautiful not to capture. He immediately sent it to Hawk’s phone, who sent it to Hero. It took Hero no time at all to set it as his lock screen.
Hawk and Jordan also took the opportunity to goof around, chasing each other and jumping on each other’s backs. Elaine and Hero laughed at their antics, shrieking with joy when their boyfriends picked them up, Jordan slinging Elaine over his shoulder and smacking her solidly on the butt. Hero wrapped his legs around Hawk’s middle, facing him as Hawk continued walking forward, his hands supporting Hero under his thighs.
Hero whispered something in Hawk’s ear that made Hawk stumble and nearly lose his grip completely, his face red.
“Boy, if you keep that up, I will smack that ass so hard, I will leave a handprint that lasts for three days,” Hawk said as Hero laughed, holding him to it.
Elaine leaned heavily into Jordan as soon as they reached the top, sighing with relief when she saw a bench nearby. “Oh, thank god,” she said, plopping herself down as she kicked her feet out and stretched her arms to the sky. Jordan laughed as he joined her, pulling her feet up onto his lap.
The bench was located close enough to the edge of the open area that was safe, but also gave them an amazing view of the mountain they were on. Elaine admitted it was beautiful, but what they had seen the day before far surpassed it. Still, it was impressive and worth the aching feet.
Hawk and Hero stood locked in each other’s arms closer to the edge, gazing out over the expanse before them.
“Pretty cool, right?” Hawk asked.
Hero nodded. “Where’s that valley in relation to here?”
Hawk pointed off to the right. “It’s behind that mountain right there, I think.”
“You think?” Hero grinned.
“I only saw it for the first time yesterday,” Hawk laughed. “But I do have a pretty good sense of direction. Maybe we’ll go there sometime, just the two of us.”
“I’d like that,” Hero said. “It’s just finding the way down there that’s the tricky part.”
“Nah, I can get us there,” Hawk said confidently. “I’ve gotten into some pretty remote places so it won’t be too difficult.”
“Somehow that doesn’t surprise me.” They gazed out quietly together, appreciating the scenery, barely hearing the conversation of the other two on the bench. “Can I ask you something?”
Hawk smiled. “About my name?”
Hero growled softly. “This link, I swear.”
Hawk chuckled. “It’s not like you weren’t going to ask at some point, anyway, baby boy.”
“That is completely beside the point.” Hero smiled and laced his fingers behind Hawk’s back, moving away just a bit to look into his face. “But I still want to know.”
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