“I can’t believe Kent could do that…” I whispered. “I can’t believe they all were fine with kidnapping babies.”

“I mean…” Payton began carefully and paused when I gave him an angry glare. “I don’t think they all were fine with that.”

“Well no one was in a hurry to defend me,” I said, wrinkling my nose.

“No… But I think they were too scared to say anything,” he said. “Kent was really mad…”

I glanced at him, then let out a sigh. “He was, yeah…”

I could still feel that slap he gave me, and I still remembered the anger in his eyes.

“I still don’t understand how Yvon and Philipe could defend him like that. They’re omegas too. They’ve been through that hell,” I said.

“Joni…” Payton said and sighed hard. “You know what this life does to people. They’ve been homeless for twenty years. They’ve been through things no one should.”

I frowned and turned to stare at him. “You’re defending them?”

“I am not,” he said sternly. “But I’m not surprised, that’s all I’m saying. I’ve been homeless for seven years, and I’ve seen more things than you have. I’ve seen good people turn mad and completely forget what is right and what’s wrong because they’ve been in survival mode for so long. And even I don’t know what it was like in the beginning when True Order was winning the war.”

I stared at him, then snorted. “Are you sure you’re not defending them?”

“Well maybe I am,” he muttered. “Because I don’t have it in my heart to blame them. This world is making us all sick little by little, and maybe you and I will one day turn mad like that, too. There’s so many problems that can’t be fixed anytime soon. There’s so much hate and suffering and death that many will become numb to it.”

I turned to look at the family on the other side of the pond. The kids were still laughing cheerily. It was a rare sound on this side of the city. Homeless children usually had to grow up too fast, and they were taught to stay quiet so kidnappers wouldn’t find them.

“When I walked here, I was thinking about the army… And how much better would things be for us if they’d stop spending so much on it,” I muttered.

“I know, right… I heard their beds cost like three grand each in the Special Operations Unit,” Payton muttered.

“Three grand for a bed?” I repeated in disbelief.

“Yeah,” Payton said and let out a humorless laugh. “Aren’t there like one-hundred and twenty SOU soldiers?”

“Something like that…” I said, and did the math. “They’ve spent three hundred sixty thousand dollars just on their beds.”

“Imagine how much food you could get with that kind of money,” Payton muttered, and turned to stare at his half-eaten piece of bread with no toppings. “And the army gives them free TVs and laptops and phones… I mean, of course I support the army with my whole heart but sometimes…”

I breathed out, feeling calm again. And sad. “Sometimes it sounds a little unfair,” I agreed.

“I kind of wish I’d joined the army… But what’s the point? It’s not a good place for omegas,” Payton said.

“Nope…” I mumbled.

“So, anyway… Don’t be too mad at Yvon or Philipe. They were good people once, but even I have to admit… This gets quite rough sometimes.”

I peered at him, but he wasn’t looking at me. He sure looked tired…

“Sometimes I don’t know if it’s the terrorists and kidnappers that are the worst,” he continued. “Or the regular people who look at you like you’re worthless scum. That… makes you a little hateful. It makes you care a little less about others, and more about your own survival.”

I hated to admit that he was right. “We still can’t start stealing babies,” I said.

“No, of course not,” he agreed. “Maybe we can talk to them once things calm down. You know, tell them that stealing babies is really, really wrong. Maybe we can convince them to never do it again.”

I said nothing. I really doubted they’d listen to anything we said. That greed in their eyes had scared me, and I wasn’t sure if they could forget how much babies were worth on the black market.

“And I know you’re mad at Kent…” Payton continued carefully. “I know you hate what he tried to make us do… But… We need to get that money for those guns.”

“I don’t want to,” I told him quietly.

“Do we have any other choice?” he asked. “We won’t survive for long without a clan, and Kent is still one of the better ones. He’s keeping us safe. He’s not forcing us to do anything we don’t want to.”

“I’d rather go to jail,” I muttered.

He let out a small chuckle. “Well I guess that is a viable option, but we’d have to do something really bad to get a proper sentence.”

I let out a sigh. “I don’t know if I can even look at him…”

“You don’t have to, but we need the clan,” he said. “Maybe we should talk to Derek. He was against the gig in the first place, so maybe he’s on our side.”

“I guess,” I said. “Unless…”

“Yeah?”

I glanced at him. “What if we leave the clan?”

“I just said we won’t–”

“No, seriously. The homeless society–”

“Will not even want to talk to us after what we did,” Payton interrupted me. “They are under the mafia's protection. They won’t do anything against their wish, and you can bet your ass their wish is to neuter us. And the society knows our faces. Yours specifically since you are Kent’s–”

“I’m not his mate!” I stopped him louder than I was supposed to. “I’m not his mate…”

Payton gave me a sad smile. “Let’s talk to Derek first. Maybe things will look better after that.”

“Fine… But if they can’t show any remorse, I will walk out the clan,” I told him sternly.

“And I’ll walk with you,” he promised. “All I’m asking is that we’ll be careful. Neither of us has ever been a slave, and I really want to keep it that way.”

“Sure,” I said.

I really didn’t want to stay with the clan, but Payton was right. This city was too dangerous for hasty decisions.

“Did you have any clothes you need to wash?” I asked to change the subject.

“Yeah,” he said. “You got soap? I was turned away from a store the other day… I think they already know my face too well…”

“Yeah, I have soap,” I said.

We split the food we had and put them in our bags to save it for later, then grabbed our dirty laundry and headed to a couple of large rocks near the water. I had to wash the pants I’d worn last night because they got dirty when I crawled through the yard, so I soaked them completely in the pond, then laid them on top of one of the rocks. I searched for the piece of soap I had, rubbed it against the dirty fabric, and gave it to Payton so he could wash his shirts.

“Dammit…” I muttered when I found two new holes in the pants.

“I can fix that,” Payton said.

“Awesome.”

I tried my best to wash the pants, but the grass had left stripes on my knees. The longer I tried to get rid of them, the sadder I got.

I would never get a home of my own…

“Do you think we’ll ever find mates?” I asked quietly.

“I have hope,” Payton said.

“Yeah, you have hope,” I said, trying to act playful. “You’re cute and cuddly and curved. I’m just a sasquatch.”

He gave me a stern stare. “None of that! You’ll find a good alpha who will love you just the way you are.”

I gave him an up and down look. He was whole five inches shorter than me, so naturally, alphas were all over him. I was almost unnaturally tall for an omega at six feet tall, and skinny as a twig, so all the attention I ever really got was when people asked me if I really was just an omega, or a mix.

That, and all those compliments about big omegas giving birth to big, strong babies…

I shook myself out of those thoughts and forced a smile on my face instead.

“If there really is an alpha for me out there,” I mumbled, and grinned at Payton, “I hope he has a big house.”

“A mansion!” he said and giggled. “My alpha better be a CEO of a big company or something.”

“I was going to say a doctor, but he’d never be home,” I said. “Maybe someone with his own business he’ll be running from home. I wouldn’t mind making him snacks and cleaning his home.”

“Oh! I want someone who works from home too,” he said. “And we need to be neighbors. I’d be absolutely miserable if I couldn’t see you every day.”

My smile suddenly turned genuine when I glanced at him. “Likewise,” I said softly.

He returned my smile, then turned back to his shirt. “And there better be a washing machine.”

“Yes, please,” I groaned, and rubbed more soap on my pants.

But we both knew a life like that would never come true.