Ema, Abba, and I wait outside of the Hamnison’s house. It’s Thanksgiving, and we always spend it together. Sometimes at our home, and sometimes at theirs. This year it’s theirs. It doesn’t bother me either way as long as I get to spend it with Iris. I’m here often enough to where her home already feels like a second to me anyway.

Mr. Hamnison opens the door, and I try to be polite and wait until Iris comes or I get permission to leave. Abba says it’s the proper thing to wait to be dismissed when you’re invited into someone’s house.

I’m antsy, but I make sure not to show it. Composure is another thing Abba has taught me. He says that it’s okay to feel things, it’s healthy, but we need to be sure to hide them still in certain situations. Ema doesn’t feel the same, but she says she knows Abba has his reasons to teach me these things. But to be sure not to hide my emotions from those I can trust. She says you always need one person you can spill them all to so that they don’t eat you alive. She says otherwise it can be something that will control you if you aren’t careful.

It’s okay, Iris is that person for me. We share everything with each other.

I notice her come around the corner, and my feet leave me before I think any further of it as I head to her. 

“Hey, I!”

I wrap my arms around her, she is a couple of inches shorter than me, so her hair tickles my nose.

She looks up at me excitedly when backing away.

“Did you bring your camera?”

I got it for my birthday a few days ago. I turned eight, and Abba promised he’d teach me how to take the best kind of pictures. It’s a hobby we both share, so I was stoked when seeing that he got me a camera of my own.

“I did!”

Grabbing my camera, I’m sure to be careful of it. I want to prove that I’m responsible. I usually am with my things. I hand it to Iris and make sure to give the same warning I do with most of my things. She can be a bit of a cluts at times.

“Here, but you have to be careful with it. Abba said that if I take care of it, then he’ll let me take it with us this summer when we go camping.”

She lights up as she looks at it. I always love to see her smile, it makes me feel warm inside. Being around her has been different lately, and I’m not sure why. Something about being by her side doesn’t feel the same. Not in a bad way though. Like before I always liked to be around her and make her happy because she’s my best friend, but now it’s that and more. Like making her smile can make all things good and when she’s hurt, I’d do more to fix things for her. Kind of like not so long ago when that boy was here and hurt her. Something came over me that’s never before. Normally I would have just taken Iris away and tell her not to worry about what he said, but then it was like her being hurt, hurt me too. I’m not sure how to explain it.

Iris pretends to take some pictures, and I can tell how much she would love to take real ones.

“It’s cool, right?! You can share it. I know you like to take pictures too.”

She smiles at that before actually taking one. I do not care much for being in pictures, but I’m not really bothered by her taking mine. I still tease her about it the way we usually do.

“Hey, no pictures of me, okay.”

She continues the way I assumed she would.

“Seriously, stop.”

I tickle her, knowing that she’s now trying to mess with me. She’s a mess in the best kind of way.

“Okay, stop. Stop! Your camera.”

Realizing my misstep, I’m glad that she pointed out that my camera could get hurt. I do good thinking about things, but not so much when playing with Iris. My head’s not always clear besides focusing on her lately. It’s another thing I need to do better at. Before wasn’t so hard, so why now?

Do better! I’m supposed to protect Iris, so how can I do that if I’m not thinking clearly.

“Oh, yeah. Maybe we should put it up for now.”

I put my camera back in my bag and we head to the kitchen. I pick up on voices, Ema and Iris’s mommy, as they talk to each other. Iris seems oblivious, but I pay attention as I always do. I’m not sure what exactly is being talked about, but enough that it’s something that’s bothering them. A name is mentioned in hush that I’ve heard before.

“Charlie said that you can come there if we ever need to.”

“But is it safe? He’s so intertwined with that family, they’re bound to find us if we ever trust that offer.”

“No anymore. He said that he dropped connection a long time ago. You’re not the only one who couldn’t trust him anymore. I feel bad for him… I know why you left, and also from what I’ve heard… I just feel bad for the man. Don’t get me wrong Anna, I would have done the same thing in a heartbeat. You protect your baby first, I also can’t help but pray that he’ll change. He was good at one point.”

We enter the kitchen and I act as oblivious as Iris in the hopes to catch more of what’s being talked about. Ema and Iris’s mommy continue in more of a quieter manner as they try to finish what they are talking about.

“I know. He was such a great person, but…. Things happen. People change. I pray for him too, but from afar is what’s needed.”

Iris’s mommy directs her attention to us as Iris gets into one of the chairs. She grabs two plates off the counter next to the stove before placing them in front of us.

“Hey, you two. If you want any more, just let me know. Baby boy, what would you like to drink?”

I smile, but notice some makeup smeared around Mrs. Anna’s eyes.

She was crying? I hope she’s okay.

“Apple juice, please. Thank you, Mom.”

She’s become like another parent to me, and though it still feels weird to call her as such, she told me it makes her happy to hear. Only her though. Though I’ve known Mr. Haminson since I was a baby, he’s more distant. He stays pretty busy with work. Don’t get me wrong, he’s really nice, I just don’t know him as well as I do Mrs. Anna. She’s the one always around us and more like family than just one of Iris’s parents.

“Coming right up.”

Another smile from her, I can tell that there is something absent behind it. I’ve noticed that it happens on occasion. She is as bright and happy as Iris for the most part, but there are times when she tries to be, but it doesn’t feel right. Like she is showing something that isn’t really how she feels. She’s not the first person I’ve seen do that, but she is the main one. It’s always adults, but maybe that’s because I’m not around kids that often. I don’t know. But maybe I’m wrong. I just know that something tells me what I’m seeing is a lie. It’s the same something that tells me when me and I are going to get caught when we’re doing something we aren’t supposed to be doing, and usually, we do.

Ema gets off the chair beside me and kisses me on the head before doing the same with Iris.

“Okay, babies, you two know the rules. Anna and I are going to have our coffee outside and have a bit of grown-up talk. If you need us, just come get us.”

She grabs both coffees and they head off. Iris still seems unfazed, but her speaking up when they are away tells me she was acting like me.

“They’re talking about mommy’s ex. He was really nice, but something bad happened to him. I’m not sure what, but it makes Mommy sad whenever she talks about him. I’ve heard her talk about him to Daddy.”

She blesses her food before eating as if she didn’t even say it. I do the same knowing that there isn’t much we can do about it.

Ema will make her feel better. She makes everyone feel better.

Ema’s help is always something that seems to help everyone feel better, so I know her helping Mrs. Anna will make her feel better.