One night she started to have nightmares that felt so real that it made her wake up afraid. She had dreams where the devil came disguised as her loved ones, outside of her door asking her to let it in.

She refused: “No”. "You are not the person you affirm to be". She said.

The devil got angry but it wasn't able to come in.

During the day she started to feel that she was being browbeat but she didn't care becuase she did not give it importance.

However, things started to get worse, her friends moved away, the companies she worked in went bankrupt, her things broke and she started to feel sick. She couldn't finish what she started, her physique and self love changed. She started to feel that she didn't fit in, she became apathetic, her behavior and habits changed. She found herself always in a state of sadness, laziness and tiredness.

The devil was already with her.

One day she was sitting next to a window, then looking down, seeing how high up she was and suddenly a thought came to her mind: “What if I were to die today?”

A voice started to whisper her: “You should do it, throw out yourself”, “ Nobody loves you”, “ You are disgusting and useless”, “You can't do anything yet you keep trying”, “Do yourself a favor and kill yourself”.

Suddenly, the woman remembered her brother and thought about all the pain she would put him in if she were to kill herself, just imagining all the pain she could cause him, just because she wasn't able to hold her pain herself gave her the strength necessary to make a decision.

She decided to go back home, she couldn't get better alone.

The love she had for her brother gave her strength. She said: “No” “Because if I decided to die today, the pain I could cause to my family would be worse than the pain I'm feeling now”.

“I love them more than myself”.

She didn't want to imagine her brother holding her mother from breaking down because of her daughter´s death.

Once she returned home, her mother and brother took care of her because they loved her. She did not have to do things alone, but still didn´t undertand the true meaning of it.

She tried everything to go forward, medical consultations, psychologists, psychiatrists, medications, etc.

The misfortunes did not stop. She believed that she wasn't trying hard enough nor that she was taking the right decisions, until she just couldn't take any right decision on her own. Eventually she began to feel scared and anxious.

Then the voice told her: “You do know that everything that's happening it's your fault, right?”.

She then responded: “Yeah, I know”.

She still felt that she was responsible for all the things that were happening to her. She felt like she was a failure because she wasn't able to recover from this fall that had no end.

Nightmares during the night, problems during the day. She simply stopped working, she was completely broken.

She didn't understand why these things were happening to her but she really wanted to live.

She used her imagination to save herself, She create a cage full of fantasy in her head to protect herself about everything that was going on. She created heroes inside her cage so she could feel that someone was protecting her.

That big was the loneliness she carried inside her.