Today's a special day. Why is it special, you ask? It's a special day, for a special occasion, and for an equally special person. A day that will bring bliss, love, and even soulmates together. It's a day of celebration, where everyone in the household is buzzing with gay energy  - well, almost everyone. Not even Christmas gets this much enthusiasm or cheerfulness. And what makes this celebration day more important than Christmas? The grand retour of my dear departed Donatello, why of course! After ages apart, my other half will finally come home. I held the fort while he was away at war and counted the days until I could embrace him passionately on our doorsteps with the welcome home banner hung between the chipped beige pillar of our porch. Each night I dreamt of our reunion, the tears of joy, tender hugs and sneaky kisses. 

I was smitten with Don the first time I saw the rowdy boy. I would follow him and play with him often - when the games suited my younger self. Don was an energetic kid and most time I had a hard time keeping up with him. We grew a relationship similar to best friends instead of one that brothers would have.

 But that gradually changed when Don started high school. He spent less and less time with me, started dating, and then avoided me at all costs. After attempting to tackle the subject, unsuccessfully, my mind went into a frenzy. I thought he was mad at me and my progenitor. It was surprising the caveman hadn't been assassinated yet. My second hypothesis was maybe I wasn't the brother he wanted. I never was the sporty type. The only physical activity I did was my swordsmanship and daily yoga with Clover. I liked books and pretty things. I always played with Clover's makeup and clothes. You could find me more often in the kitchen than on the couch watching the Saturday football. When father strongly encouraged me to take part in manly matters, I cringed away, like anything that was deemed remotely like a man thing had the Plague. Pondering still, I made my way to my room. That night, I skipped dinner, too engrossed with my first existential crisis.

 When his friend came home one day, I heard them talking about me. They referred to me as 'she', as Don's sister. Feeding my insecurities, they shaped up to be demons hovering over me with their oppressing presence. Those monsters went everywhere I went, following me like shadows would. They squeezed my guts and heart with their clawed hands when they felt like it. As I aged, I discovered people became meaner and meaner as they walked toward adulthood. Their battles with their respective turmoils left them depleted of sympathy to deal with other human beings. Loneliness can be overwhelming - and dangerous - with voices in your head whispering loathsome words, tormenting and torturing you until you are just a form void of life.

Sigh. To this day, I still have no clue as to why Don and I grew apart. It's a question I asked myself a million times when he left for the military after his graduation. Why did he leave? Was it because of our dysfunctional family? Probably. Was he unhappy here with his mom and me? What did I do wrong? Did he not want a baby sister? Does he hate me? Am I the problem? In all the instances where I dug too deep into my inquiry, tears flowed down my face. The countless nights I cried myself to sleep, the days I spent in bed skipping meals. Clover had to drag me out of bed to do the most basic things.

But now, after all this time, I can finally ask Don and have a mature conversation about it. We can work things out for the better. The thought of it made me blush furiously.

"Sweetie, where do you want the fairy lights to go?"

"Oh. Under the oak would be marvellous, Clover!"

"What the heck is all this?" Father asked as he observed us working from the door. He always had a knack for showing his face at the most ill-chosen moment. I bet he spends his day waiting around just so he can annoy people by crushing their dreams. The man would steal candy from a baby.

"We are decorating the yard for Don's coming home party isn't obvious!" His face alone made me want to reply with snappy comments, which was the case more often than not. Don's mom had repeatedly interfered before my sire took it too far. She was the perfect mediator, calm-natured, with a bright mind and an even brighter smile. She was the epitome of a loving mother, everything I aspire to provide my family with when that moment comes.

"I thought you outgrew this phase!"

"Alright, alright." Clover defused the situation by ushering the seed donor inside the house. "Don't let this old grinch get you down Honey, you doing a good job." She added before disappearing after the ol' fart. I stuck my tongue out my tongue out at the now-gone Neandertal.

I diverted my attention back to my setup of the garden, taking a moment to admire my work. Yes. This is going to be the most special day of all. Romeo and Juliet's final act. But unlike the tragic ending, I plan on making it a serendipitous one.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

I waited all afternoon on the steps of our porch. When he didn't show up and people walking in the neighbourhood looked at me funny, cicadas started signing, and mosquitoes dinned on my exposed skin. I continued waiting as the hot sun went down. The humidity made me sweat like a pig while witnessing the small number of discernible stars. I still kept my butt firmly anchored on the wooden slab when Clover told me she was going to bed. It was at one in the morning when I left my post to crawl into the comfort of my bed and for the umpteenth time; I sobbed until no water was left in my body. Today couldn't have gone more wrong! He said he would be back today! He said it! I even made him promise!

Long minutes of bawling and sleep lulled me gently out of my weeping. Eyelids heavy and blotchy, tears stained pillowcases, and overall feeling of sorrow were my only torturous companions for the night. Not even my fantasies about my love could have brightened my darker-than-the-night mood. My last coherent thought was, I hate you, Don!