Charlotte wasn’t fully convinced Hawk’s plan to talk to the Blood King was a great one and said as much as the two headed deep into the woods, running and leaping through the trees as easily and nimbly as the creatures who were born here. She had dropped their prey off farther away than last time, making the hunt far more satisfactory when they finally caught them. It also gave them time to talk.
“You’re still one person, though, aren’t you?” she asked. “Same body, same mind?”
“But two separate entities,” Hawk replied. “Physically, nothing has changed. I still need to consume flesh to survive, I can still change into my demon form, I still have access to all my demon energy, dark and light. But when it comes to who we are, that’s where the separation is. I am Hawk Grace Helman, the soul, and he is the demon Blood King.”
“Where is he right now?”
“He lives in the dark energy within my core.” His eyes, mostly amber by now, shifted in her direction as he gave her a meaningful grin. “Why, do you miss him?”
Her ears turned red as she growled low in her throat. She wasn’t a fan of being teased and he knew it. “Why would I miss the bastard that made me what I am?” Hawk caught on quickly how her words were laced with sadness, not the disgust and hatred he normally heard.
He gave her one last questioning look before turning his gaze forward, catching a large branch and swinging to the left, picking up the faint traces of a scent trail. His mouth began to water and he grinned, his fangs growing as he changed.
-*-
Hawk knelt at the side of the stream, Charlotte a few paces away, staring at his reflection as he finished cleaning up. He ran a hand through his hair, slicking it back with the cold water. His eyes had changed again, the pupils ringed with blue like before, the marks on his face and arms gone. The one on his chest, the one that matched Hero’s, took longer to fade. He touched it gently and sighed. Hero was bound to be angry with him again…no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t stop the disconnect.
Three times this had happened and he couldn’t prevent it. This time, his entire body felt like it had been attacked. He was in so much pain, it was blinding. He almost missed the woman, almost botched the kill entirely. It had taken several agonizing minutes before he finally allowed the Blood King to take over, to do what he was unable to do.
He sat back and folded his arms over his knees, burying his head. Hero? He sent a tentative energy wave down their link, hoping he would be accepted. His heart caught when he found Hero, disoriented in his fear and agony. Hawk gripped his arms, gritting his teeth. I’m sorry…
What Hero sent back nearly broke him. He enveloped Hero with his energy, promising to be home soon. He could only imagine what Hero was going through back at the house.
After a long minute, he raised his head, staring off into the trees. “Charlotte.”
She looked over at him, tying her long blonde hair up into a high ponytail.
“I need you to help me force the split.”
Her eyes went wide as her arms dropped to her side. “Toji said—”
“I know what he said,” Hawk responded calmly. “But he may be wrong.” He told her what he had learned from Alerik and the angels who weren’t compatible with the souls they were supposed to be made from.
Charlotte stood by his side, arms folded under her breasts, her weight on one leg as she stared out, contemplative. “So,” she finally said after a few silent moments, “you think that may be possible in your situation as well?”
“Why wouldn’t it be? I’m a Divine, just like them.”
“You’re a demon with a soul, Hawk. An anomaly, unique and unknown. There is absolutely no telling what will happen when you two finally split apart. Toji may be right, either both of you die, or one of you does.”
“I’m not going to accept that,” Hawk said, shaking his head. “I can’t. I have to believe we can separate just like the Light Divine and both of us survive. Although, if that is the case, then it will be a lot easier to kill him.”
Charlotte sighed, frowning down at him. “Is that really the best option?”
The look of pure hatred and loathing he shot up at her made her step back.
“He. Raped. Hero. He doesn’t deserve to live. He doesn’t deserve to exist in this or any other realm. He deserves nothing less than utter oblivion.” He dropped his blazing gaze to the water, his nails digging into his arms, his head dipping forward so his face was hidden.
Charlotte was taken aback at how young and vulnerable Hawk looked, his dark blood-red hair falling over his ears and beginning to part at the nape of his neck. He was nothing like the demon she remembered, nothing like the Blood King she was just hunting with. A sharp tear ran through her chest and she clutched at it, grimacing as she did so.
Hawk Grace Helman was not the Blood King; he was the soul trapped within the demon’s body, aching to be free. He was a true prisoner, the last prisoner of the most brutal demon who ever lived and he was suffering. All he wanted was a life with Hero, unbothered by the fear and turmoil the demon caused him. For years, she had told herself that he didn’t deserve happiness, didn’t deserve peace for all he had done. But she had been wrong and she knew it.
The Blood King deserved eternal punishment, not Hawk, and certainly not Hero, the one caught up in all of this. She still remembered that meeting with Lucifer, still remembered all the reasons and stipulations she had given to ensure Hawk lived.
Not just Hawk…he’s still there…he has to be…
Her hand slid to her core and she gripped her shirt tightly.
She remembered each one now as she stared down at him, a tormented young man who just wanted to live a normal life, ignorant of who and what he really was and what he was created for. She played a part in this and now, instead of feeling smug, she was gripped with an unfamiliar pain in her heart.
Slowly, she squatted down next to her King and wrapped her arms around him. Hawk didn’t tense up, didn’t push her away. To her surprise, he leaned into her, accepting her warm embrace.
“Please…” he whispered, his voice choked with desperation. “Help me…”
She didn’t even have to think twice. “Of course I will.”
-*-
Just like the last time he felt Hawk draw closer after his hunt, Hero bolted out of the house and ran toward him, Hawk also running to meet him. Hawk caught him in his arms, Hero’s arms and legs wrapping around him tightly as he cried.
There was no way Hawk could apologize for what happened, no way he could make Hero feel better about it. They both had to accept it was unavoidable and prepare for every ounce of pain it caused them. They didn’t speak in those moments, they just allowed their energies to mix and surround them, ensuring their severed connection was fully secured once again. Hero pulled away enough to look down into Hawk’s eyes, taking in his husband’s unspoken pain. He planted three slow kisses on Hawk’s face; one on each eye, one on his forehead.
He buried his face in Hawk’s neck and wrapped his arms tightly around his neck, holding on to his own elbows as Hawk stood there, holding him tightly, his hands pressing into his back as he cried silent tears into Hero’s shoulder.
Back in the house, they sat side by side on the couch, Hero’s legs over Hawk’s, his head on his shoulder as Charlotte brought them two hot mugs of coffee which they accepted gratefully. She sat in the chair and crossed her legs, looking every bit like a royal retainer and not a demoness who just mauled a large man to death.
“So!” she said brightly, a smile on her full lips. “Tell me about your trip.”
The men relaxed and, with their own smiles, filled her in on everything that happened, including all they had learned from Charles’ research. Charlotte was pleased to learn of Persephone’s change of heart and that the siblings were getting along better. She was annoyed that it was Alerik Albright who happened to be the young woman’s soulmate.
“Of all creatures, it had to be a fucking bird,” she muttered.
“A fucking useful bird,” Hero corrected. The tone became serious as they recounted the murders Ciel perpetrated on the three Divine and what he had etched into their bodies. At this, Charlotte’s face turned to stone, her amber eyes intensely focused on Hawk.
“And you don’t see the relation at all between them and you?” she said in disbelief.
“There’s no reason why there would be,” Hawk said. “They were three random Divine victims he chose to leave messages on.”
“They may not have been so random as we thought.” Everyone’s heads turned to the kitchen, Toji entering from the sliding back door, his face grim.
Hero stood as Hawk leaned forward expectantly. “You found something,” Hero said plainly.
Toji nodded, his eyes on Hawk. “I flew over the fire site. He was definitely sending a message.” He pulled a piece of paper from his back pocket and handed it to him. Hawk unfolded it and stared at what was written, saying nothing as Toji continued his report.
“I was able to connect Ciel’s scent from the ruins to where the grocery store used to be. It’s definitely him.” He stared down at Hawk who didn’t look up, his eyes covered by his hair. “If you have something you’d like to confess, now would be a really good time to do so.”
Hawk’s hands clenched around the paper. Hero turned to him, waiting, his anger beginning to rise, his red eyes like fire as he received his answer through the link, his fists balling at his sides.
Hawk gulped. “Hero…”
“Bastard,” Hero whispered.
Hawk bit down hard on his lower lip, drawing blood. “It was an accident,” he said, his voice so low only a Divine would have heard him.
Charlotte glanced between the two, annoyed once again with their damned connection. “Can I please be included in this little exchange?”
“Be my guest,” Hero said and stomped off, slamming the front door behind him. A minute later, they heard the rumble of Hawk’s truck as it came to life, and the squeal of the tires as he peeled out and down the road.
Hawk ducked his head, his fingers gripping his hair, the paper caught in the middle. He nearly retched from the force of Hero’s shield slamming up. He deserved this…of all the sins he committed, he deserved this…
Charlotte reached out and plucked the paper free, turning it to see what was written. Her eyes went wide as they snapped back to her Devil King, shaking with shame and regret.
Toji stood, arms crossed. “Explain.”
Hawk didn’t move, his voice muffled as he spoke. “The city he destroyed in Germany was in an attempt to kill me. What I did…I never gave it any thought. Why the fuck would I? I was selfish and did a lot of horrible shit. How was I supposed to know I was pissing off one of the most powerful angels in the known Realms?”
Tears ran down his nose, landing on the carpet as his fingers shook against his head.
“There was a siren…” he said. “I was chasing after her, trying to get her alone. It wasn’t to have sex, I wasn’t interested in that. It was for drugs.” His hands slipped to his face. “She was the first one I corrupted and killed for drugs. I wanted her to get high with me, that was it. I didn’t…” he swallowed and leaned back into the couch, his hands slipping down his face and falling to his lap. “I didn’t mean to kill her.”
“There’s more to it than that,” Charlotte said, her voice flat. “Isn’t there? Hero wouldn’t take off like that if there wasn’t.”
Hawk nodded slowly, squeezing his eyes shut as more tears ran down the side of his face into his ear. “She was pregnant.” He covered his face again. “She was pregnant but I didn’t care. I just wanted to get loaded and she was just another target to corrupt for my own amusement. I was so pissed off back then, so ready to destroy everything around me that it didn’t matter who got caught up in it. She was innocent…just one more innocent Divine ruined by my bullshit quest for power and adoration!”
With that he dissolved into body-wracking sobs, terrified Hero really would leave him now. He would find a way to sever the connection and leave for good. Hawk couldn’t blame him…that one Divine character, translated into two horrible words Toji had written, had just sentenced him to an eternity of madness and he knew it.
Baby Killer.
-*-
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