“No. My brother, Bill, said we weren't helping the war effort, so he was going to ask his family about how to raise more money.”

His eyebrows come together at that. “If I remember correctly, you two raised fifteen. That's a lot of money.”

I nod. “I know.” I squirm in the chair. “My papa's at war, in the Philippines right now.”

“That must be hard.”

I don't say anything. Of course it's hard. That feels like a stupid thing to say.

“But you two didn't fight?”

“No. He left my house yesterday saying he was going to ask his family about ideas to raise money.”

“I know that, but...nothing else happened? Did he mention anything?”

I shake my head. This angry feeling squirms in my chest, and I don't like it. “No. He talked about shooting Hitler if he caught him. A movie he saw with that lady from the Wizard of Oz. But we were just playing together yesterday.”

Mr. Ryan nods, tucking his lips into his mouth. It's a weird, understanding look, but all of it makes me think he doesn't actually understand. Something squishes in his mouth, and he inhales. “So you don't know where Henry's gone to?”

“Where is he?”

“We don't know.”

I sit forward. “When will he be back?”

“Charlie, I don't think you understand.”

That makes me more mad.

“Henry hasn't been home since yesterday. He went home to ask about raising money for the war effort, like you two talked about, but then he left last night. He told his mother he would be back soon, and hasn't been seen since.”

I feel like falling. Something falls in my chest, through my stomach, and lands hard somewhere deep and dark inside of me. My head starts getting dizzy, and the floor falls out from under me. I'm angry, and I don't know why. “What,” I say, but my throat is dry. I don't want it to make sense. “What does that mean?”

“He's not been home since last night.”

“So where is he?”

“We don't know.”

I glance down at the carpet. It's stained where his feet sit under the desk, brown in a kind of long circle. “No,” I say. “Henry wouldn't do that. He wouldn't – ” I huff. “He gets scared of the dark. He doesn't even like climbing the trees that high. He can't – Henry wouldn't – ” I wipe my eyes. I'm angry, and something whips through me. My hands shake. They're numb. Mr. Ryan keeps talking, but I can't hear any of it anymore. All of it is noise, like it's the middle of the night. A horse neighing. The trains passing beneath Pottersville. Birds. That's what it all sounds like.

Mr. Ryan stops. He stands, looking behind me. He says something, and Mr. Strong takes me out of the office. His hand is on my back. I'm outside my classroom and I don't even realize it.

I wipe my eyes more. Boys don't cry. I don't want to be called a sissy. A queer. I straighten up and open the classroom door.

Everyone looks at me.

“Sorry for the delay, Ms. Lewis,” Mr. Strong says. “We just had some questions for him.”

People start whispering. My heart shrivels a little.

“Charlie, you can go back to your seat now.”

I do. My spelling test is still on my desk.

“You can finish the test before lunch, okay?”

“Okay.” I'm quiet. I don't know if she can hear me.

“We've moved on to reading,” she says. “Now, Dorothy and the scarecrow have just come across the Tin Woodsman. Do you want to pick up where we left off? Page 74. 'I thought of the danger my joints had rusted, and I was left to stand in the woods until you came to help me.'” Ms. Lewis looks at me, waiting.

I don't want to read. I really don't. I want to go to the bathroom and cry, but that would make my eyes red, and everyone would be able to see that.

I open the book and clear my throat. The colors on the page are dull to me. “'It was a terrible thing to undergo, but during the year I stood there I had time to think that – '” I'm angry again. It's annoying and dizzying and leaves me feeling sick in my throat. I cough, and think I'm about to throw up. “' – I had time to think that the greatest loss I had known was the loss of my heart.'” I stop and stare. The letters don't make sense anymore. Or maybe I don't want them to.

Ms. Lewis says something after a while, and Mary McKenzie starts reading. She reads it like she's reading in front of the entire school. She's proud and magical in how she reads.