What's happening to me?  

         Why didn't I get the notes from Mr Brown already? I should have applied for a retake, three weeks ago, but I'm still considering it. What is there to consider? 

         I don't know.  

        Can't believe the way I have been paying attention in an introduction class. I know everything already, why do I pay attention?   

       I'm thrilled to attend Mr. Brown's class today, which I never do with classes.

           I have all the clothes I need for his classes ironed and arranged. It's not weird, I do plan my whole week early, I just hate surprises and confusion. 

         I know I'll see him today, that freshman, I don't know what I should be feeling about that. Maybe nothing.

          He's weird, just like me.    

      I like the way he gets uncomfortable around me while courageously staring at me.   

       And his eyes, why does he have such big eyes if they can't see? Again, I do have to use glasses myself despite having probably bigger ones.    

      An open book, he isn't a puzzle box to me, I can see right through his clumsiness. He stares at me with questions about my presence in the introduction class while I look older. I think he pities me.      

    I don't care what he thinks of me, I shouldn't have to explain myself to a freshman. Maybe he'll figure it out by himself before the semester is over.

          I'm confident, nothing can break my will.   

        But, I don't like the way I feel around this particular kid. He makes me feel vulnerable like I have to worry about what he thinks of me when those brown eyes land on my face, hair, and…I don't care!    

       I hope he knows.   

        Because I never get intimidated by his stare to look away or shy. I'm growing comfortable with him, he seems harmless.

           To be frank, a part of me wants to be seen by him. It cares that he is puzzled by my existence, that he spends half class hours staring at me.    

       Although tiny, it craves his attention.   

       As for myself, I don't have any feelings about that.        

  _ He is obsessed with me, why else would he make sure that the seat next to him is never occupied when I come in? I never got to class before he did, is that a coincidence?    

      I can see him scanning me from the corner of my eye, he seems happy to see me. 

         I'm rigid, so they say.   

        Today, I want to change that, if he speaks to me I'll reply. I think it's time I got to know his name, not weird at all.   

       "Hi"      

    He greeted me, what should I say?    

      "Hello", I hate my voice right now.   

       He smiles, I should smile back but I can't. Why should I?...